Bottle or draft? :dubious:
“I admit, I never thought that the presence of God would make me want to pee a lot.”
What’s so great about the Christian afterlife? Well, compare it to some other ancient ideas about the afterlife. The Babylonians had an afterlife where you got to eat and drink dust for an eternity. Even if you lived a virtuous life you’re still going to be eating dust in the hereafter. In the Odyssey, when Odysseus is told by a very dead Achilles that he would rather be a slave to the poorest farmer than to remain in the afterlife.
When I was an atheist, I thought exactly the same way, and if you search on this message board for posts I wrote about ten years or so ago, you can find the very clever posts I wrote back them explaining why I wouldn’t want to go to Heaven. After I was introduced to Jesus Christ, however, I understood almost immediately why the mere fact of being in God’s presence is sufficient to bring eternal happiness to the saints in heaven, and why boredom in Heaven or any other such concern doesn’t apply.
Hey, St. Peter, won’t you open up your gate
I hear the Devil calling me
Now please don’t make me late
They got loud guitars, alcohol, and cheap Jamaican whores
I don’t wanna stay in Heaven no more
- The Bad Examples
It’s probably overrated. I wouldn’t want to spend an eternity with Jerry Falwell, Dr. Laura, and Sean Hannity.
Except of course your weren’t actually introduced to any dead men and saying that Heaven as described wouldn’t be boring or unpleasant is just as empty an assertion as your claims of talking to dead people.
The caretaker makes his own wine.
I can’t imagine heaven needing bottles. Or cans. Or barrels. This is the transcendent brew.
It is important that somewhere in Scripture (i’m not a scholar), it is said that heaven is more than anyone can even imagine. Whatever you think, it’s more than that… I’ve imagined some really beautiful and meaningful scenarios, but if heaven is far, far beyond even the purest imaginings… {WOW!} We will know the Answer.:eek: !
Anybody who chooses to aim for Hell rather than Heaven because of alcohol, loud music, and prostitutes has obviously not read the Gospels closely enough.
John 2:6-9
Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.” They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine.
Matthew 21:31-32
Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did.
As for music, there are many Bible passages describing music in Heaven, while none that I recall mention music in Hell.
They have however listened to the people who say they know how to get into heaven.
And really, it’s more amusing to think of partying in Hell than it is to grimly calculate your chances of how to please a supernatural megalomaniac who doesn’t exist.
If there is a heaven I sure do not wanna go there.
I can not imagine the horrors of spending eternity with born again Christians.
Funny thing about that Cracked article–though it’s largely correct–the article itself states an assumption about angels that isn’t in the bible.
The article talks about Angels, Cherubim, and Seraphim and talks about all three are part of the “Order of Angels.”
Nowhere does the bible say that cherubim or seraphim are angels. Nowhere
does the bible indicate that there are any “orders” of angels, though it does designate Michael as an archangel.
Nowhere does the bible say that all beings that reside in heaven are angels. It does say that all three reside in heaven in the presence of Yah.
It’s fallacious. Just because angels reside in heaven does not mean that all residents of heaven are angels.
It’s like learning that “tortoises” live in the Galapagos. next we hear that finches and iguanas live in the Glapogos. Someone asks, what are “finches” and “iguanas” and saying “Tortoises live in the Galapagos, therefore finches and iguanas must be different kinds of tortoises.”
Do you get to fuck with the living, like God does? Because that would be sweet.
The thread has gotten this far and no one has posted anything about heaven’s actual properties? Guess it’s up to me.
For starters, it’s 2,250,000 sq miles, or over half the size of the United States.
According to hardcore Christians there’s been about 51 billion souls born since the dawn of creation. How many of those actually got in heaven is a matter of debate, but let’s say half. That gives it a population density of 11,333 per sq mile. That’s about as roughly as crowded as Philadelphia.
Oh, and it has an ambient temperature of 525°C.
Yeah, I’m not seeing the appeal either.
You would think that if a part of the scripture was that important to you, you would know it by heart…or at least know where to find it.
Jesus is the patron saint of wedding receptions.
My wife had a pastor who explained to the Sunday school kids that, in Heaven, everybody cooperates so meals are served with forks that are three feet long so nobody can feed himself, but they all have to feed each other. And he said this like it was a GOOD thing.
When I heard that one, it was with spoons. With forks you’d poke somebody’s eye out! 