Whats the appeal of Filipina women?

[D_Odds]

My Filipina wife emigrated to the US and became a naturalized after she finished university in Manila. I get to spend lots of time with Filipino emigres and first generation Fil-Ams, both from 2 Filipino parents and from a Filipino mother/American (and in one case Australian) husband (but not from Filipino father/American mother - at least not in my circles).

@Maggie_the_Ocelot

Filipinas:

1. Are often very pretty.

2. Almost all speak English.

I’ll give you these. Perusing Filipino papers and programs, you’ll find that they use what is colloquially called Taglish, which is the Filipino and English language mixing, sometimes mid-sentence. (Note, the official languages are Filipino and English, but Filipino is about 95%+ tagalog)

3. Can generally cook very well, and many Filipino dishes are quite tasty to Americans.

Not really. There are a few good dishes, and maybe a few others that can be stomached. But the ability to cook, and the ability to cook well, are very different. The majority I have met do not cook well, and I’ve met more Filipino men who can cook far better.

4. Are usually Catholic.

A sacrifice I was willing to accept for my wife. Not my cup of tea, though.

5. Come from a very poor country, and are generally very happy and grateful to come to the US, so are less likely to ask a man for more than he is willing to provide.

Especially for women outside the cities (the provinces), this can be true. In the cities, they tend to be more jaded and materialistic, and one is just as likely to find a mercenary or scammer as to find a grateful bride.

6. Come from a society with stricter gender roles than the US, so have been trained to act more “feminine” than most American women - deferring to the man, making him feel important, etc - and that can make a man, especially an older man, feel more masculine in return. (She may be looking for a more “masculine” man, too)

BWAH-HAH-HA. Older generally means more money to spend on them (especially true of the mercenaries/scammers). In general (which means not every, but most that I’ve met), Filipina wives are the powers behind the throne. They let the man appear to be in charge, but they are the puppet masters. However, lots of men, especially those shopping for internet brides, like to believe that.

7. Immigration is fairly easy between the US and the Philippines, so it isn’t as hard to get a Filipina over here legally as it is, say, a Mexican woman.

I’m not so sure of that, as I’ve never had to immigrate to the US. But I don’t think it is any easier.

8. Are different enough to be “exotic”, but are still quite familiar with American customs, etc.

There is a lot of Spanish blood, mixing with Chinese, Korean, Australian, US, and of course the more native Malay.

That’s just some of the things I can think of off the top of my head. They don’t apply to all Filipinas, of course, but as a broad brushstroke I don’t think it’s inaccurate.

Cite: My husband is Filipino-American

Is he Filipino born and bred, a child of Filipino parents, but born and raised in the US, or a child of mixed parents born here (or there)? After a couple of decades, I’m able to see noticeable differences between the three.

[D_Odds]

@VinylTurnip

Who’s to say that many of these young women did not— upon seeing a fat, sweaty, balding, sunburnt middle-aged foreigner loudly complaining about his food being too spicy— simply feel the natural stirring of desire in their loins?

Filipino food, in general, is not spicy (though they tend to use lots of vinegar, salt/soy, and garlic). Filipino restaurants cater to Filipino, not American, tastes and I’ve been to dozens. It is the blandest southeast Asian cuisine I’ve tasted. Food also is often cooked until it is dead, dead, dead. And then cooked some more just to make sure. My unfounded theory is that Filipinos cook like this because of poor sanitation and food handling. Between the vinegar, salt, and heat, all the nasty stuff is eliminated.

[yanceylebeef]

CSB: In 1991 I was sent TDY down to Subic Bay in the Philippines after Mt. Pinatubo erupted. Our job was to get the local AFRTS affiliate back up and running, I spent about four months down there. One of the guys who came with us had just divorced his Korean wife, and had proudly exclaimed he was down there specifically to audition a new wife.

He dated about a dozen women while he was there, whittled that list down to three, and had them come up to his base in Japan for a visit and to meet his daughter. I got a postcard from him a few months later from his honeymoon, so I guess it worked out for him.

I haven’t heard from him in over twenty years, but I would be interested to know if that worked out or not. It seemed a little sketchy to me, but hey, different strokes for different folks.

[TriPolar]

They’ll marry old guys. That’s pretty appealing all by itself.

[simple_homer]

There is no such thing as a “mail order bride” anymore.

For the immigration papers to be processed there is a requirement that the man and woman have met in person, and there should be evidence of a relationship.

Filipinas typically cannot get a visa which allows them to go to America as a tourist.
So, the need for the American to go to the Philippines first, and then for him to sponsor her visa after having met her in person.

The idea that a guy can just sit at his computer and order up a wife as a “mail order bride” is just crazy.

[grude]

@simple_homer

There is no such thing as a “mail order bride” anymore.

For the immigration papers to be processed there is a requirement that the man and woman have met in person, and there should be evidence of a relationship.

Filipinas typically cannot get a visa which allows them to go to America as a tourist.
.

I actually think this encourages rather than discourages fraud.

[TriPolar]

@simple_homer

The idea that a guy can just sit at his computer and order up a wife as a “mail order bride” is just crazy.

I think it’s crazy that he can’t. What good are computers then?

[Der_Trihs]

@VinylTurnip

Who’s to say that many of these young women did not— upon seeing a fat, sweaty, balding, sunburnt middle-aged foreigner loudly complaining about his food being too spicy— simply feel the natural stirring of desire in their loins?

A man who likely has a good amount of money by local standards, and who quite likely is romantic, respectful and considerate by the standards of a a “traditional roles” society even if not by modern American standards. That’s something I’ve heard pretty consistently; in a lot of countries where women are still treated badly, American* men are often quite attractive to local women because most of them treat the women so much better.

*And presumably men from other nations that have made as much or more progress on the gender relations front

@D_Odds

In general (which means not every, but most that I’ve met), Filipina wives are the powers behind the throne. They let the man appear to be in charge, but they are the puppet masters.

While I’ve no personal experience with that culture I’ve been told before that that’s the norm, and that quite a few foreign men looking for a cliche “submissive Asian wife” have been blindsided by it. The husband is “in charge” in public and is the couple’s interface with the outside world, but the wife is the mistress of the household.

[grude]

@TriPolar

I think it’s crazy that he can’t. What good are computers then?

I was thinking of that scene in Total Recall where he is designing his dream girl in Recall inc.

[SciFiSam]

@grude

No shit, the stereotypes in this thread are running wild even(wants a wife that doesn’t fluently speak english to feel superior?!) and I’ve become convinced some people think any foreign spouse aside from maybe Canadians are mail order wives/husbands.

Er, it was me who mentioned that some men might like being more fluent in english than their wives, though I doubt it’s as important as them actually speaking english. The people I’m talking about are specifically mail-order brides, but, as I said, they seem pretty happy.

[VinylTurnip]

@Der_Trihs

While I’ve no personal experience with that culture I’ve been told before that that’s the norm, and that quite a few foreign men looking for a cliche “submissive Asian wife” have been blindsided by it.

A few years back there was a somewhat amusing documentary* called Mail Order Wife about just that scenario, in which a boorish NYC doorman acquires a(n allegedly) Burmese wife assuming she’ll be his submissive little domestic slave.

• Wink wink.

[Namkcalb]

Could height be a factor? Many women prefer a taller spouse so relatively short American men might be wise to seek a Filipina spouse who will be relatively shorter than them.

[SciFiSam]

@simple_homer

There is no such thing as a “mail order bride” anymore.

For the immigration papers to be processed there is a requirement that the man and woman have met in person, and there should be evidence of a relationship.

Filipinas typically cannot get a visa which allows them to go to America as a tourist.
So, the need for the American to go to the Philippines first, and then for him to sponsor her visa after having met her in person.

The idea that a guy can just sit at his computer and order up a wife as a “mail order bride” is just crazy.

Was it ever the case that a man could just send for a wife from the phillipines or any country? My dad went over to the phillipines and married his wife there before bringing her over; mail order is just how they met.

[the_diego]

A Filipino here. All I can say is I’m glad ‘LBFM’ wasn’t used by more than a couple of posters and ‘MOBs’ are viewed the same way on the American side.

[BigT]

All the Filipina women I’ve met online were very straightforward about wanting to get in a relationship, and specifically what they wanted (marriage). That’s kinda refreshing, and might be a boon to many guys. (Heck, if it weren’t for the downsides, like the language barrier [they speak English, sure, but not well, in my experience], which destroys most chances for intimacy, and, of course, having to have the money to go get them and marry them and such, I’d be tempted, too.)

[handsomeharry]

@simple_homer

There is no such thing as a “mail order bride” anymore.

For the immigration papers to be processed there is a requirement that the man and woman have met in person, and there should be evidence of a relationship.

Filipinas typically cannot get a visa which allows them to go to America as a tourist.
So, the need for the American to go to the Philippines first, and then for him to sponsor her visa after having met her in person.

The idea that a guy can just sit at his computer and order up a wife as a “mail order bride” is just crazy.

Crazy, no. impossible, maybe.

[handsomeharry]

@Der_Trihs

A man who likely has a good amount of money by local standards, and who quite likely is romantic, respectful and considerate by the standards of a a “traditional roles” society even if not by modern American standards. That’s something I’ve heard pretty consistently; in a lot of countries where women are still treated badly, American* men are often quite attractive to local women because most of them treat the women so much better.

*And presumably men from other nations that have made as much or more progress on the gender relations front

While I’ve no personal experience with that culture I’ve been told before that that’s the norm, and that quite a few foreign men looking for a cliche “submissive Asian wife” have been blindsided by it. The husband is “in charge” in public and is the couple’s interface with the outside world, but the wife is the mistress of the household.

I’ve had gfs from South America and the Middle East, (and, of course, the US) places where the males are the rulers of the household, allegedly. I was never looking for ‘submissive’ or anything like that, but, they set me straight in short order anyway.
It is my firm conviction that any idea of a ‘submissive wife’, from anywhere in the world is in the same reality class as the ex-SEAL.

[JessMagic]

@BigT

[they speak English, sure, but not well, in my experience]

Funnily enough, I’ve always thought they speak the best English of any of the Asian nationalities. They learn English and Tagalog simultaneously from a very early age.

[Johanna]

@JessMagic

Funnily enough, I’ve always thought they speak the best English of any of the Asian nationalities.

Again—what about Indians, Pakistanis, Malaysians, Singaporeans? They don’t count as English-speaking Asians? The Philippines can out-English all of them?

Oh yeah, I forgot, India and Pakistan are “not Asian” (to geographically-challenged Americans, to whom “Asia” can only mean chopstick-land).

[the_diego]

Nearly all Asians (from my experience) have a shot at being a good English speaker if they study at the tertiary level. It’s just that in the Philippines, English has been the preferred medium in college, national government and the corporate environment since the 1900s. But I will make a stand that a middle-class Filipino trained in English is probably more adept at spoken English than the others mentioned (assume a home-grown setting for all.) It’s just that other countries are a lot more uppitty. You know new money.