[unfunny, pedantic mode]
Any (educated) participant of BDSM play will tell you that using handcuffs is a Bad Idea[sup]tm[/sup]. They are dangerous.
[/unfunny, pedantic mode]
Now that we’ve established that, we can go back to pondering why Attrayant needs to be able to get out of handcuffs.
OK, here’s the dope from someone who’s spent some time as a cuffer (I was a Military Policeman in the US Army):
Smith & Wesson and Peerless are by far the two most common brands (I preferred using Peerless, but that S&W name…). The keys are the same, or at least were 11 years ago. Some US Army-issue cuffs were made by the American Handcuff Company. These were older and rather inferior and were avoided like the plague. I was issued them and bought a pair stainless steel Peerless chain cuffs and a pair of stainless Peerless hinge cuffs with my own money (~$30/pair, IIRC) to use instead (all knowledgable cops carry more than one pair).
Keys are made that fit inside “belt keepers” or bands that attach your duty belt to your pants belt to help keep the weight of the gun, baton, magazines, and handcuffs from making the dutly belt slide down to your ankles. Many officers carry these hidden keys against the off chance that they are cuffed by an assailant.
Even having a key does not make it easy to free yourself. The proper way to apply cuffs is so that the keyhole faces the wrist and the wrists face each other. Getting the key in the hole from this position requires more than a little contortion. Don’t stand over a grate while you do this; you will drop the key, several times.
Another element in proper procedure is to “double-lock” the cuffs. That is what the little nib on the back end of the key does. There is a small stud on the side where the shackle meets the lock. Push this stud in and the shackle will not ratchet any further into the lock. This makes getting a pick under the ratchet teeth impossible.
Possessing a handcuff key (or handcuffs, for that matter) is not a crime in any jurisdiction I have heard about. Possessing them in an incarceration facility, even if just visiting, is generally prohibited.
As far as the Houdini trick, that may have worked on 1920-era cuffs, but I doubt it would work today.
Speaking as someone who has been cuffed more times than your average “three-time loser” (MPs are a playful lot, especially when the beer starts to flow), including once by myself, just to see if I could get out, it took 30 minutes; it’s not a lot of fun when you don’t want to be cuffed anymore. For BDSM, stick to the toy cuffs.
Now, back to the OP: a (helpful)friend with a key.
I agree that the Peerless cuffs are better made than S&W, but that’s just my opinion.
Get the key.
I’ve got two pair, both of serious quality. One was the pair my college roommate was subdued with when he became psychotic (he gave them to me later for my birthday) and the other was a “gift” from a slightly bent girlfriend. They were both industrial strength and the keys were interchangeable. They were pickable, but not so easily if you were actually wearing them.
As to our friend Attrayant’s predicament, I’d guess the quickest way to get 'em off might be to just pay the fine.
You been wearin’ those bracelets for three days now?
(Slight hijack) Do handcuffs allow you enough slack to bring your arms around over your head if you’re double-jointed?
Okay, okay. To satisfy all of your deviant curiosities, I’ll admit that the cuffs are on my ankles not my wrists. That leaves me hands-free to work on a way out. Good thing I’ve got the week off…
And you couldn’t get them off (or at least cut the link) by now?
Cuffs on the ankles makes it hard to get pants on, so I need to do this with tools lying around the house. My electrician’s tools are too wimpy for this. I do have a small hacksaw, and if I had started back on Friday I might be out of them by now. Oh well I better get started now…
Actually, probably not. Houdini used probably a dozen or so completely different methods, which is why he always succeeded … see http://www.langkaer.dk/klasser/x99/engelsk/houdini/hc.htm
If it becomes impossible to get them off, a call to the local police might be the easiest way out. Just call the non-emergency number and say you need an officer to come by and provide a little expert assistance. If you give too much information to the dispatcher, you run the chance of it all being repeated over the radio and ending up with the entire shift coming over to help…
It might be a bit humiliating, but you’ll provide a bored local policeman with a good laugh and a chance to do someone a good deed. You’ll be the topic of conversation around the station for a few days, but with luck, the officer involved won’t repeat your name.
Would you like me to over-night you a handcuff key? I know you said they are ankle chains and not handcuffs, but they both use the same key. I will send you one if ya ask nicely…
-Bear
'course, you have to tell me how you got them on in the first place. I am guessing some hooker shakled your legs and made off with your wallet and jewlry… 
Take apart your bed frame and put it back together with your hands between the frames. Then have your girlfriend call the police and have her say she handcuffed you to the bed during some kinky love-making. She will tell them she lost the key and they will come let you out. Woohoo!
They must have been cheap immitations cuz the links were super easy to saw through. With the chain finally cut, I was able to make myself presentable to the general public & walk to the local hardware store where they have a mosterous hydraulic bolt cutter, which I used to bite through the bracelets, er… anklets.
Now let us never speak of this again. :o
What, like we’re going to let this one go? I think the question still stands: How did you get shackled in the first place?
Let’s just say it was a combination dare/experiment. If I say any more, you won’t be surprised when you read the book.
I work at a correctional facility and have personally cut off both handcuffs and leg irons that failed. They are surprisingly easy to cut off. These are high quality Smith and Wesson cuffs.
Well, if you’re a zombie, it should be rather easy to simply slip them off of your superating flesh.
Didn’t quite make never…did make almost 12 years though.
Boy those were different times…no-one asked “Need answer fast?”