What's the biggest animal you could kick to death?

Personally I think I could probably kill a large dog and maybe some types of deer.

Dunno. I once punched out a German Shepherd once, purely in self defense. I felt very badly about it.

You should probably re-think the deer thing. They are incredibly tough animals. Living in a rural area, there are many more stories of people hitting a deer with their car and the deer runs away than stories where the deer dies.

Fair enough but I was kind of thinking of baby ones, like Bambi. And maybe if I could sneak up on an adult one while it was sleeping…

A Caanen Water Lurcher.

But I wouldn’t want to.


Bend over, Chicken Boy.

A troll.

They draw me closer with flamebait.

I’ll bet if you got one on land and got enough people you could kick a blue whale to death. The “SAve the Whales” people would then kick you to death.

The very thought of it makes me ill and I am quite disappointed this thread isn’t locked.

Are you asking about kicking an animal to death in a straight fight, or just killing it in a helpless condition?

I suspect that the kind of punk who would express his violent and sadistic fantasies on a message board would likely not have the stones to take down even a dog of average size in the first situation.

The second option all depends on accuracy and patience. You could probably kill an animal of any size if you landed enough blows to cause hemorrhaging in a vital area. Hell, you could kick a whale in the blowhole enough to cause swelling and suffocation.

One of those annoying little dogs whose purpose in the Great Chain of Being is to pee on people’s ankles. God, I hate little dogs. I would relish the opportunity to crush one under my Skechers. Or maybe I’d wear my patent leather stilettoes. Heh heh heh that’d be COOL.

“I’ll teach you to yap at me!! You wanna shut up now? How 'bout if I stomp on you some more? Now you gonna shut up, bitch? It’s hard to yap at me when I’ve crushed your trachea, isn’t it, rat-dog?”

A human being. Only in self-defense though. Otherwise, I COULD probably kill many other animals, but I wouldn’t. An attacking animal, I would attempt to stun, badly hurt if needed, but I wouldn’t kill an animal.

If you think about it, you could kill a blue whale by swimming into it’s mouth (with scuba gear on) and just tear it up from the inside out. I mean, Killer whales swim in and bite blue whale’s tongues off right? Why not a person? That would be killing the largest animal on earth.
I guess it doesn’t count though, being that it can’t defend itself and it would be cruel.

That is just about the funniest thread title that I have ever seen.

Me, I’m a big wuss. I wouldn’t go bigger than a cute little dewy-eyed puppy. Even then, it would have to be a small puppy.

Kirk, although a Blue Whale is the biggest creature on earth, I doubt you could “kick” it to death from the inside. There are few obstacles you would have to overcome if you did decide to go this route though.

First, getting inside the whale. Since Blue Whales’ primarily feed on plankton, it would most likely avoid swallowing you during its normal feeding patterns. This would leave you with an option of forced entry, such as being launched from a vehicle, like a submarine or trolling boat with enough force to propel you though the water and breach the whale baleen strainers. (the impact alone would most likely dislodge any loose scuba equipment you’re wearing, i.e. mask, regulator, etc.) Furthermore, the average depth at which a Blue Whale feeds is approximately 20 to 100 feet. Your best bet for success here would be for you to be incased in some sort of self propelled submersible, this way you would have the freedom to choose which depth to enter the whale and minimize the lose of equipment on impact.

Second, and lets say you made it inside the whale and it decided to maintain a depth that would allow you to forego any future need for decompression. At this point, your main concern, that is if you considered “living” after this, would be your air supply. It would be limited, depending on your depth of course, to approximately 20 to 30 minutes. This means you going to have to work fast. Most likely you would have to remove your fins and assuming you’re in the stomach (since you were swallowed) start “kicking” like a madman. Because of water resistance this act would be extremely tough. Though I think, if you were able to damage a few vital organs you might be able to cause some internal bleeding, but probably not do to much damage to effect the great beast.

Lastly, and lets again assume you were able to kill the whale from the inside with a few well placed blows Its almost certain you would have little hope for esacape since the whale would now be sinking (without the use of it’s natural ballast abilities, the whale would plummet into the depths and be crush like a tin can under the enormous pressure, along with you inside).

So unless the OP meant to die in the process, I don’t think your scenario holds water.

Just my HO.

Some of you <cough, cough> obviously don’t have a sense of humor. The thread title and idea are kind of funny in a twisted way. I second Lux Fiat’s notion. But to answer the question, nothing that would stand a chance against me. I’m a wuss. :stuck_out_tongue:

Some of you <cough, cough> wouldn’t recognize humor if it jumped up and bit them on the pectoral fin!

Just my HO
[I’m locking this sick little puppy off. The only reason I’m mentioning it in this post is because I don’t want to see it bumped to the top, even temporarily. -Czarcasm]

[Edited by Czarcasm on 01-30-2001 at 11:38 PM]