What's the deal with girls and horses?

[Khan]

@Phantom Dennis

Appearance of eyeballs and “shininess” of coat are two main factors which the subject utilizes to evaluate quality of physical appearance (i.e. “cuteness”).

My mom and older sister were into horses and rode quite a lot, so I’ve been around a horse or two in my time. As a result I’ve seen blue-eyed ones.

Their eyes aren’t so pretty when you can distinguish the true horror that is horse pupils.:eek:

[Malacandra]

@AskNott

I don’t think you were out of line at all. Masters and Johnson said many girls and women masturbate by rocking on a pillow or sofa arm. You’re certainly not the first to talk about girls riding to orgasm on a saddle.

Don’t you point and giggle, either, guys. You have those moaning pseudo-race bikes, where you lay down over the machine with a vibrating pad up against Mr. Happy. You can dry-hump the thing by shifting up through six gears and back again. Yeah, don’t you laugh at those horsey girls.

Speak for yourself. The last time I remember riding a bicycle with a semi-hard (after a slightly steamy goodnight from my then-fiancee), it was kinda uncomfortable. The saddle didn’t rub anywhere useful but on the embedded portion of the shaft behind the nutsack. Did nothing but feel oogy.

@delphica

In my theory, boys don’t like horses becaues they take one look at a person sitting astride a horse and think “Oww! No thanks!”

Hardly. Boys sit on their arses, not their balls. :rolleyes:

[Martini_Enfield]

@delphica

I have a half-baked theory that girls like horses in part because boys don’t like horses, so the girls are attracted to area where they are in the majority. It also helps that horses are both cute and interactive. It’s a great activity for girls – the girl is in a position of both power and partnership.

In my theory, boys don’t like horses becaues they take one look at a person sitting astride a horse and think “Oww! No thanks!”

The thing is, for most guys in the, say, 10-15 age group, Horses are in the League Of Extraordinary Gayness- along with Musicals and Ballet- and most would no sooner admit to knowing anything about horses or even enjoying horseriding any more than they would admit to having snuck a peak at another guy’s dick in the men’s room. (“Didn’t you hear the announcer? He said it totally wasn’t gay!”)

Of course, the fact that Men- in the sense of Real Men™, as well as normal people in general (male and female)- have been riding horses since the Sumerians were impressing the locals with their ability to build cities and write things down matters not a whit to your average Teenage Boy, for it is common knowledge that Horses are “Liberace Gay”, and even if you live on a farm you really should have a motorbike or something.

Try telling a 13 year old guy that John Wayne, George Washington, or Lawrence of Arabia rode horses, and see how far you get (“OMG George Washington and John Wayne were t3h gay?!?!!”, most likely…)

I like horses, and I don’t see anything girly about them, but I noticed the “OMG! PONIES!” thing when I was finishing primary school- yeah, I can see why horses appeal to young girls, but they looked like far too much work for me, especially when I had a computer (no internet, though) to keep me occupied, or friends to go and explore the neighbourhood with.

But the thing is horses are lovable creatures, sentient, with personality- and there are consiberably worse (and more expensive!) hobbies or interests to have, when you think about it…

[Stentor_2.5]

I’m wondering if it’s beharioral. Perhaps it’s just that the majority of adults think that it’s cute when a little girl obsesses over horses. Children tend to do their best to fulfill the role offered to them. Social validation is a powerful force.

[Hello_Again]

@WhyNot

Calm down, sweetie. Jokes are jokes *because *they’re mildly disturbing and inappropriate, yet speak of a truth we do not generally speak of. See also: humor.

'Sides, 8 year olds do masturbate, you know. It’s not revolting, it’s nature.

Sorry, I did come off a bit frothingly. It’s just that non-horsepeople (usually those who have also never owned vaginas) tend to think this “joke” is mighty original and hilarious. Whereas if you’ve ever been involved with horse people and had to endure, as a preteen, this “joke” from
a)all your male relations
b)all males at school who know of your hobby (oh goody, now I’m a slut too!)
c) many male teachers and authority figures
– well, it gets kinda old. Its just another way society can turn something that is a source of pride and make it completely humiliating.

You wouldn’t believe how frothed at the mouth the horse message board I participate gets over this (and if you want to know more about saddle chafing, go to www.chronicleforums.com and search for “Inverness problem” – yep, the syndrome is named after a poster, kind of like Gaudere’s Law here.) And yes most or all of the participants have heard this laff-riotous tidbit over and over and over and no, NONE of them think its funny.

And no, there is nothing inherently disgusting about the masterbatory habits of 8 year olds. There is something mildly disturbing about grown men speculating on them with apparent relish.

[AskNott]

@Malacandra

Speak for yourself. The last time I remember riding a bicycle with a semi-hard (after a slightly steamy goodnight from my then-fiancee), it was kinda uncomfortable. The saddle didn’t rub anywhere useful but on the embedded portion of the shaft behind the nutsack. Did nothing but feel oogy.

I thought it was clear I was talking about motorcycles, not bicycles. :smack: Specifically, the kind of motorcycle that’s designed so you’re halfway lying down on the machine. Sorry if you misunderstood the parts about “moaning pseudo-race bikes” and a “vibrating pad.” I’ve had several bicycles, but never one that moaned. I never found bicycling sexual at all. In fact, one of my bicycles would make my penis numb on a long ride. :eek: