Hadn’t seen you around here in a while. Welcome back.
Looks like it’s actually an “8.5 Million Dollar Idea”:
{ waves hello }
To start off, you may be waiting in a line 10 cars deep, just to order. (Why? Cuz our phone’s ringing nonstop, that’s why. Finish taking an order, hang up, and the damn phone rings in your hands before you can even give the kitchen the ticket.)
Regardless, once you pull up to the window and finish hitting on me spending even more of my time complaining about how long the line takes telling me what the hell you want on your food, and you pay, the ticket will 1a.) have your name on it, and 2b.) have a receipt stapled to it showing you paid up.
If the wait is insane (over 45 minutes) I’ll tell you before I even start taking the order, to ward off the “Ah, never mind” drive aways.
So, now you’ve ordered, and paid. I will tell you, “Okay, that’ll be ready in XYZ minutes” and then you … go away. For XYZ minutes.
I don’t give a shit what you do; just find somewhere else to do it. For XYZ minutes.
I can’t tell you how many people inform me they gonna hit that licco sto’ up dat street an’ come right back (like I care) or that they needed two things from Meijer in the meantime (ditto).
You can hang out in the parking lot and do … whatever … just don’t let my manager catch you.
But you do. NOT. block. my. window.
I will tell you politely to come back in XYZ minutes. Still chillin’ AND BLOCKING A LINE? Imma tell you, in that icy-but-polite tone all retail workers perfect, to please. come. back. in. XYZ. minutes.
If your ass isn’t already shifting into Drive gear by the time I’m done repeating myself, it’s “Holla for manager” time.
She will tell you exactly what I just said, with a hefty dose of The Glare included.
Pull back up in XYZ minutes, and you’ll hear, “Hi, did you have an order already or did you need to place one?”
Tell me your name, I will find the pizza with your ticket stapled to the bag, confirm the name and order with you (“Hey, I have three ‘Smith’ tickets tonight. Are you the large double anchovies with extra garlic-- no? Did you give a first name? Ah, Bob Smith. Gotcher small deluxe right here…”) and will visually confirm the receipt showing you paid.
We keep all the paperwork (order tickets, receipts, credit card slips) though of course you may certainly request a copy, so the manager can reconcile the register at the end of the night.
Oh, and one last thing.
A large 3-topping is $24.75. 
Seven minutes, where I work, for a standard bake on a reasonable order.
More if you want it well-done, or if you want one of those 10-topping monstrosities we call “birthday cakes” because they get piled up so high.
I used to have pet ferrets (and was friends with people who kept same) and those dryer tubes make ferrets lose their tiny little minds with sheer joy.
So please, if they’re both still around, ask your dad to tell his acquaintance that not only did his invention help to provide untold millions with clean undies, it also bestowed unimaginable happiness to little furry critters.
I stumbled on that porn site, too.
I took a wild stab; I’ve not bought a pizza other than a baby one in ~20 years.
So the idea is the person gets their car in the single line to order, then orders, pays, and leaves, then gets back in the same line later to pick up? Wow that sounds like a recipe for insane amounts of inefficiency for the crew and frustration for the customers.
Triggered by the pizza digression in this thread, yesterday I walked over to a newly opened little one-off pizza place. Turns out they only sell 12" which is kinda big for one person or kinda small for two people. I ordered a “supreme” which had mushrooms, onions, pepperoni, diced tomatoes, and corn (a common Latin addition to pizza), plus maybe something else I don’t remember. Thin almost crispy crust, and a large well-browned/blacked raised rim. $19. With a single 1 liter bottle of water and a tip lunch was $26.67.
The place was empty when I walked in with just two people working: the owner and his henchman. I timed it. 14 minutes from when I finished paying to when the 'za hit my table. A couple of folks showed up to pick up earlier orders while I was waiting. So I probably wasn’t the very first pizza the henchman assembled after my order was in.
'Za was good, not great. And too carby of a treat for me to eat very often.
So kind of you to take one for the team
“Put me in, coach!”
Rocky Rococo pizza (Wisconsin based) has had drive-thrus since the 80s. Deep dish square slices they have about 6 varieties daily and 1 special “slice of the day”. They had those seven constantly made all day so there was no waiting while they made your pizza. And there were no custom orders.
Science!
For anyone wondering about “Cheeseburger In A Can” here is a Youtube review of it here:
I once bought a length of landscape drain pipe that I though my rats would enjoy running through. As soon as I set it down next to them, it made that weird hollow throbbing sound such tubes make when you move them. The rats freaked out and ran for a hiding place. Oh well, live and learn.
Market it as Vita-chelada.
“Dat place is too crowded – nobody goes there any more.”
From her description, it sound like they’re running at capacity, whether it’s inefficient or not.
“It’s A Slippery Nipple That Provides Nourishment!”
Eh. I can do it better and cheaper at home.
An even better review, by @Mangetout (weird stuff in a can, an entire series!). Search for atomic shrimp on YouTube
For a drive-thru operation intended to save time it won’t work. But around here there are lines at McDonald’s and in the morning at Dunkin Donuts. There are plenty of other drive thru windows that only offer the convenience of staying in your car. For instance the CVS has a drive thru where you can drop of a scrip and come back 15 minutes later or whenever they say it will be ready. If there’s a line at the local BoA drive thru ATM is often faster to go inside. Sometimes drive thrus are for people in a hurry, around here they’re mostly for lazy people.
Or people with little kids in the car. Now that it’s functionally illegal to leave the kids while you go inside, the Moms (and occasional Dads) I know with 3+ munchkins strapped into car seats basically travel from drive through to drive through to curbside pickup to curbside pickup doing all their shopping that way.
Good point. I’d forgotten about those days. There weren’t as many drive thrus back when my kids were little but McDonald’s had them and that was a blessing when you’re on the road with two kids strapped down in the back.
I never had kids and was a kid myself 10 years before seatbelts were invented and 20+ years before infant/toddler car seats. The idea it takes more than 4 seconds to get 6 kids into or out of a car still boggles my mind.
Car stops, all doors fly open, horde boils out. Mom (plus optional infant) eventually catches up with us inside the store / restaurant.
That’s how it was in Ye Olden Dayes.