There’s another problem. Spiders can’t talk. Man, the strip makes less and less sense.
I’ve gone back and forth. First I think “It has to be that he shit the web”, and then I think “It has to be that he thinks Christmas decorations will attract fiber-filled insects.”
Unfortunately both explanations are so ridiculous, so illogical, and (most of all) so unfunny that I am unable to endorse either one.
Which means I have to keep thinking about it. Shit.
I know. I’m sorry.
I guess quality really dropped off after Johnny Hart died, and that’s no small feat.
My first thought was the “he’s storing it to eat later” theory, but then i thought of one that wasn’t mentioned here yet. He can’t spin enough webbing to make his web, so he’s using the decorations as a fill-in, to connect some of the gaps. Kind of like when a kid’s building a fort in the woods and he doesn’t have enough plywood. He gets random objects (tree branches, an old skateboard, a stop sign) to fill in some of the spaces.
Originally I thought it was the web decorations = something strange coming out of [del]the writer’s[/del] the spider’s behind, but now I’m wondering if maybe he’s hoping to collect presents and eat the wrapping paper. It makes as much sense as anything else.
But now I have another question: When I looked down through the archive, I saw the one for Dec. 9. Two witches are hovering on their brooms. Witch 2’s broom ends in a flat rectangle. They have the following conversation (I’ve split lines as they appear in the balloons):
Witch 1:
Hey, what’s the retail
on one of those?
Witch 2:
More than
you can
afford, pal.
swiffer
WTF? I can understand that they somehow wanted to explain that she’s on a modern, faster style of broom, i.e. a swiffer. I can’t tell where the word is supposed to fit in. Maybe it’s perfunctory product placement. Or maybe [del]the writer[/del] the witch is having a stroke. (That’s not the punchline either - the king is off to the side saying “This street racing is getting out of hand.”)
He is, to me, either:
-
filling in the gaps with candy. If he had more fiber, he’d have had more web.
-
trying to attract bigger/fatter bugs so he can get more food.
The spider really was celebrating christmas, but gave a sarcastic reply to what it considered an obviously unnecessary comment.
This was also my first instinct. He needs more fiber–i.e. webbing. But the fact that there’s an alternative version that doesn’t color it in makes me suspect that he’s trying to attract something to the web. (I don’t think the idea that he screwed up his web due to lack of fiber makes any sense.)
with the decorations as bait, maybe he’s trying to attract a x’mas tree?
Is Christmas “spirit” alcohol? Can’t see how that would work.
The spider implies it is constipated because that is what fibre will remedy. The opposite of diarrhoea.
They’re making a joke on Swiffer (name of product) sounding like Swifter (faster). So the witches are street racing on brooms and one of them has gotten something faster.
Still doesn’t make it funny.