I am quite possibly the world’s best shot with a rubber band. I hit what I aim at 90% of the time. Once as a kid I hit a driver in the face through that little triangular vent window cars used to have. A moving car. Yeah I was a brat.
I grow excellent fingernails.
I can twiddle my thumbs in opposite directions (so one thumb circles one way while the other thumb circles the other - both left and right going clockwise at the same time). Not many can.
I can spit ice really far with excellent accuracy.
I’ve been on this board for more than 10 years.
I can parallel park the shit out of a car. The shit out of it.
I’m very good at pouring equal amounts of wine into glasses. I never have to do that “little more here, now some here, oops, now back” topping up thing that some people do.
Look on my competence, and despair.
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.
Sigh. I wish I could do this.
What I can do is make a really, really good grilled cheese sandwich.
I can do this fun little playing card trick where I hold what looks like one card up (though it is really two cards), and then I flick the card w/ one hand while making a move w/ the cards to swap them. It’s really impressive when seen from the right angle.
Backing up a truck hauling a horse trailer is pretty dang easy for me.
I can crack/pop most joints in my body.
But the big winner is:
I can recite Kentucky Derby winners, frontwards and backwards, from 1969 to present.
Back in the day, I was a cashier at a supermarket. I was a fracking wiz typing in the prices and departments of the items on the keypad. My fingers would absoloutely fly. A fracking wiz, I tell you. Customers have told me they purposely sought out my line. Others pored over their receipts, certain that I could not have been accurate.
This was, obviously, before price scanners.
Useless-enough, skill-wise, for ya?
How?. I just tried and I can’t keep one going and reverse the direction of the other.
Playing tetherball. If there were a tetherball olympics I’d be in the tryouts.
It’s tough, because your brain seems to want to twiddle them the same way no matter what you want, so to speak.
The trick to it is to note that if they are truly twiddling in opposite directions, they must cross twice per rotation. Try to cross them deliberately.
[This is a really astoundingly useless skill 
]
But can you take apart the remote control and almost put it back together?
You might want to do an exhibition with this guy who has related skills. He got a video out of it.
I am really good at the 1980’s Nintendo NES football game Tecmo Bowl (probably the greatest game ever made). I didn’t have to worry about losing to anyone or anything in a single match since about 1989 given my choice of a team. I expanded that in later years to include playing any team against any team. A couple of decades later, I have gotten to the point where the other team scoring any points at all is almost out of the question and hasn’t happened in a few years. I focus now on running up the score and doing stunt plays like passing end-zone to end-zone for a touchdown. I am not happy unless I win by at least 63-0.
I can flick a playing card into a watermelon. I do have to be about 2 ft away but watching others try is really funny.
You know when you buy some foods that come in a jar or cup, you unscrew/prise off the lid and there is a plastic film sealing the container?
I can pull, like, 99% of those suckers off. * In one piece*.
Check with my publicist for interviews; I’m already booked on Leno.
I never lose at any of the first 3 Mortal Kombat games. Never.