What's The Life of a "Trust Fund Baby " Like?

Word.

Many years ago – after almost 25 adult years of HARD work (meaning I worked two and three jobs to get by), I made a killing in a particular business. When the business ultimately failed (due to my partner making some bad decisions), I came out of it with a ton of capital.

I did what I had always dreamed of doing as an adult; I bought wine, I bought art, I traveled, and I became a full-time artist. Well, after several years of this, I realized I was very, VERY alone. Just going and and meeting people was hard because I was not a bar fly. I missed the social integration that having a job affords; daily conversation with other human beings. Dating was very hard and became non-existent. There would be days on end when I would not talk to another person and would frequent restaurants just to talk to waiters.

I can’t deny that I didn’t enjoy myself when I had the money (from a travel and culinary standpoint), but when I was close to running out of funds, I was actually looking forward to going back to work, moreso for the daily interaction of other human beings.

Now that I am back in the work place, I have my art and wine to enjoy and my evenings and weekends to my artwork, but I am thrilled at having social interaction again.

Maybe. Many go into Wall Street, law or medicine because of family expectations to join the “right” white shoe firm and join the upper crust. They don’t give a shit about “competition” and I think that would actually be considered “unseemly”.

And a surprising number of Wall Street guys are not trust fund kids. Especially traders.

I hear that. Without boring you with the details, I was in a similar position for the past six months. I’m in NYC, so there’s always people everywhere day or night. It was fun for awhile, but I’m kind of anxious to start my new job soon. After awhile you start to feel like Will Farrel in Step Brothers.

There is an entire sub-culture of trust fund babies here in Boulder. They really run the gamut of personalities, but they do tend to stick together. I worked with two of them at a hot start-up dot com about ten years ago. One was a nice young woman who worked hard and was perfectly normal except for Mondays. On Mondays she would tell us about her weekend. One day she told us she bought a condo in Vail. Other times she and her (trust fund) boyfriend would fly to Vegas or LA or Seattle to see a show or a band. She ended up getting a nursing degree and married a doctor and has two kids. Her brother, OTOH, was a basket case druggie.

The other guy was quite different. He got the job through contacts, and really didn’t work very hard. The sales he made were also made through family contacts. He’d out of the blue get a $10K or $20K contract despite none of us ever having heard him contact the customer before. His dad was a big time political type in the Chicago area. He lived in a $600K house with his non-working wife and two kids. They belonged to an exclusive tennis club. He was in his mid-thirties but would fly back to Chicago every couple of months to hang with his high school buddies at their dad’s country club. He got laid off and didn’t work for two years, but when he got a new job (part-time) he bought a new $50K SUV. I worry about his kids because the money is going to be gone, and they have no role models of what it is like to make a living on your own.

I have had the opportunity to meet and socialize with most of the uber (and I mean UBER) wealthy people of my town for a long time…most of them seem pretty straight laced and very hard working, even the “kids” who are my age or younger (late thirties). What I tend to notice more about them is that they don’t have to worry about waiting in lines at airports (they all have NetJets), they usually have at least one personal assistant who stays at their homes or in an office during the day and sort of manages their lives (booking trips, taking in dry cleaning, buying groceries, arranging maintenance on houses, daily housecleaning…the sort of things I spend my “off” time doing). So, while they may work at a full time (or more) job, they don’t have to spend any of their fun times doing things that I spend my days doing. They also have better seats at concerts, sporting events, etc…but the ones I know also spend a ton of time doing hands on volunteer work as well as writing large checks to charities and not-for-profits…I honestly don’t think I have met any of the slackers of the group :slight_smile:
I am sure there are “black sheep” of most of the families I know, but I haven’t met them if there are…

My neighbor when I was a kid was a great-great-granddaughter of one of the founders of of Standard Oil. She and her sisters were sent to Swiss boarding schools as soon as the could be. Her brother was sent to a private mental institution. When I knew her, she was a married mother of three. It was the 1970’s we lived next to them. Her husband had the family on a budget, and she seriously asked my mother if people could really live on $10K/mo. In 1978. My mother explained that many families lived on less that for a year.

She sued her father just to initiate communication with him. She met her mother maybe once a year at the Golden Door Spa and that was about it. One of her children stripped in a bar to spite her mother. One of the others ended up addict to drugs, although he got his life together later.

Money didn’t make her happy, but it made some things easier.

StG

It’s available online at Hulu for anyone who wants to check it out.

I dated one for a while in my younger days. He was so Old Money that neither his parents nor his grandparents (on the money side) ever had to work either, other than minding the money.

He was a terrific guy, and had excellent manners. That sounds so goofy, but he really had those impeccable manners that seemed natural, and stood out so much especially for a guy in his early 20s. He wasn’t flashy about money at all, I think it had been drummed into him that a good way to stay rich was to keep your money. Not that he was cheap or anything like that, just prudent.

He was, um, maybe not too heavy in the head, yet his good nature and personality made him comfortable in any situation. It really made me think about how having been brought up with that level of confidence and security can give a person an advantage beyond the actual money. It never occurred to him to feel out of his depth about anything.

So having that trust fund didn’t make him hedonistic, shallow, or self-indulgent. I’m sure some of that was that he was a good person, but I also wonder if part of it was being from a family where that was a multi-generational way of life, and not something new to flaunt.

There does seem to be a way to “raise kids” in that world that creates a person who seems somewhat less likely to become hedonistic or self indulgent - at least from the outside looking in. And there is a way to do it that seems to breed hedonistic and self indulgent.

Stable home lives help. Modeling a behavior that says “with privilege comes responsibility.” The expectation that having money does not mean you don’t need to “do something” with your life - you may choose something that doesn’t need to be self supporting, but you at least need to spend some time doing something that isn’t endless partying. And it does seem like the best balanced people I know are the ones whose parents may have had money, but still were fairly frugal. i.e. they drove fairly “ordinary” cars.

I once went out a few times with someone who was the Spanish version of a trust fund baby. I also was friends in college with several people from rich families - which is very much a different animal.

Background on the first one: my mother had a period when she decided to enliven my social life. I was living in the same town, Dad had recently passed away, and she insisted in arranging “playdates” between me and other single women of similar age, whose also-widowed mothers she knew. Apparently, “you’re the same age and you’re both the daughters of widows” is a perfect basis for friendship in the alternate universe where Mom lives.

I’m a Chemical Engineer, have devoured fantasy and science fiction books since before I stopped re-reading Perrault’s Complete Tales, have played pen and paper or PC RPGs for some 24 years, and discovered my vocation at age 3: I wanted, and want, “to go places without my parents”. To travel, to be independent, to learn about other ways of doing things and other peoples and other cultures. At the time I had set foot in half a dozen foreign countries and lived in one for 4 years.

All these women had law degrees, wouldn’t touch Tolkien or Verne with a 10-foot pole and had never been more than 100km away from home except to go to the beach - and when they went to the beach, it was to a place that every summer gets invaded by people from “back home”. I know families who have each other as neighbors at home and have each other as neighbors at the beach, something which would drive me nuts.

Aaaaanyway. One of these voted Socialist because “they’re the worker’s party and I’m very much a worker” (son el partido del pueblo y yo soy muy pueblo - it’s one of those things that are difficult to translate). A worker? The girl hadn’t done a honest day of work in her life!

She literally vivía de las rentas, made a living from the rents/interests she received. Along with a trust fund, she had five flats in a nearby big town/college town, all of them fully paid by the time she got them, either as inheritance or gifts from relatives. She had always had them rented out through an agency, except for the one where she had lived alone while she was in college (cleaning maid/cook included and paid for by Mom and Dad, of course). She complained that she had been a farmer’s insurance agent since she turned 18, but for some reason nobody had bought any insurance from her in the last 2 years - I wonder whether her father’s retirement from the office that handled agricultural permits had anything to do with it, what does the Dope say? While her father had that job, her yearly income from “selling insurance” for one week a year was about 8 times the yearly minimum wage.

Girl had money and I assume she still does; brains, what God gave to a doorknob.

My college’s students roster had several names which would be familiar to you in the years I was there. Heirs and heiresses whose lastnames are associated with drinks, soaps, dairy products… some of them used to think toilet paper refilled itself (but eventually learned how to change it), three little idiots in my class got terribly angry the year that their mothers forbade them from renewing the entirety of their wardrobe (“you’ll renew half, keep half, and the half you keep is the half you will use to go to class, because those chemistry labs are hell on fabrics”… and me hearing that while wearing my favorite skirt ever, bought in 7th grade); one was surprised to hear that it was only her socioeconomic class that had “debutantes”; they all intended to make a living from their studies, realized they’d been born in privileged positions, and in several cases had chosen that specific major among several which they found attractive because it would be useful for the family business.

I don’t know what it’s like, but I’m willing to give it a shot. If it ruins me, then there’s your answer.

While I’m not sure he’s a true “trust fund baby”, I’ve got a friend who grew up pretty rich and his parents paid (and still pay) for everything. He doesn’t live high on the hog, but he’s got a pretty decent apartment and a car and computers and whatnot.

He went to college, but he spends his days watching TV, playing around online, eating out and more or less just noodling around. That’s basically what I end up doing when I take a week off from work, but by Sunday I’m climbing the walls. How he does it day in and day out astounds me.

I know one guy, now 30ish, who has a trust fund. He has refused to inherit any part of the family business, but his fund is still there. He got degrees in what interested him–philosophy and economics–and now works where I do as a computer programmer. As far as I can tell the fund provides a nice financial cushion for him, but he was wise enough… or something… to not let himself rely on it.

Three of my cousins are from a wealthy family and they have trust funds from the set of grandparents that we don’t share. (Our mothers are sisters, their family’s wealth is on their father’s side.) Their family travels a LOT and very widely. They have always had two live-in maids and grew up in a very strange and interesting house that would have violated a million building codes in the US. (This is in Mexico, where having live-in maids isn’t really that unusual, but definitely seemed incredible to me when I was a kid.)

As adults, they’re fairly ordinary. One of them is a doctor, one of them was a teacher until her husband got transferred to the Middle East and now she’s a stay at home mom. The youngest just graduated from college and hasn’t really done anything yet.

Obviously, the money is nice. None of them have student loans, and my middle cousin was able to put a couple hundred thousand pounds down toward a house in London. (Her husband is English.) My oldest cousin lived in Chicago for a couple years in a nice apartment while studying for the medical boards, with no apparent source of income - and once while I was visiting, he and his wife discussed how nice it would be to go off to the Maldives for a month after he took the exam. But at the same time, his wife had just gotten her green card (she’s a Mexican citizen) and was excited about being able to look for work. She wasn’t planning on sitting around all day. Anyway, they have jobs and aren’t drug addicts or particularly indolent.

If you grow up with money, it doesn’t seem all that unusual to you. Typically, it’s people who come into a giant windfall who experience problems with handling it.

Kids learn from their parents. If the dad is an absent workaholic and the mom is a dumb trophy wife, the kids will probably be messed up.

Anyhow, it’s not like there aren’t assholes from poor and middle class families too.

That was a good one, I saw it on netflix. I don’t know how much was just being young but most of them seemed deeply insecure. I am assuming they all felt pretty isolated (people fundamentally only wanted their money from them), and several talked about how they feared they’d say or do something a family member didn’t like and end up cut off from the fortune.

It doesn’t suck.

[quote=“msmith537, post:20, topic:565844”]

Think about it like this. Even if you are a trust fund kid who wants to work and have a career, how much shit will you eat from a crappy boss? The fact that you can actually have an answer besides “all of it” means you think in a fundamentally different way from most other people.

[QUOTE]

Too me, that would be the greatest perk, advantage, etc., in life for a trust fund kid. I’ve actually known a few individuals in that postion including one whose complete bosshole of an immediate superior had no idea one of the interns she was torturing was the goddaughter of the head of the firm. The bosshole’s discovery of that fact was a beautiful moment of comeuppence that could have been scripted by Hollywood.

I know quite a few of these types. Drug use is a feature for some of them, then there are those floating in a watery world of what’s the meaning of it all, so they make expensive pottery to sell to their rich friends for six months of the year, they’ve got university degrees and get who you know jobs. Eco warriors in SUVs.

One is a right drinky druggie, complains that his dads foreman is ripping them off - dad wouldn’t need a foreman if druggie son would pull his weight. He’s not trusting of people, I know the foreman and he’s golden - it’s annoying. Thinks the cops are out to get him when they pull him over after he crashes into someone drunk. Dates strippers etc.

Another one is always talking about getting the boat ready, married an unattractive man who she’s totally jealous over, very low self esteem and has to pay for everything because hubby’s on the take - why should he work when she can just go to the cash point?

There’s a soullessness to that lot, but others work in the old mans company and are more active normal types. Most irking last year was one who said, while I was out of work, “oh, I have to work otherwise I get depressed”. I have to work otherwise I fucking starve.

I called them “trustifarians” when I lived in Boulder, since so many of them seemed to go through a period of wearing dreads, listening to nothing but reggae, railing against “The Man,” not bathing, smoking dope 24/7, and following the Dead/Phish/Widespread Panic around, all while driving a Mercedes.