Probably the Master Cleanse, wherein I subsisted on lemons for two weeks. It was silly. I lost a stone.
(Now, listen. I know the whole toxin-cleansing thing is bunkum, and I knew it at the time - I just thought it looked like a hilarious thing to do. I’m not sure I can define my “hilarious” for you, either. And you might think that by doing something excessive and dangerous because it’s funny that I’m a certifiable idiot, but please don’t think I’m a certifiable credulous idiot).
Did indoor skydiving a year ago. Far less instruction, far more time floating on air. Still, there’s something pretty profound about jumping out of a plane and floating down from 3K feet.
When I was a grad student at UW-Madison, I used to regularly ride my bicycle full-speed down the steps of the capitol building, and the steps down the backside of Bascom Hill. Not the occasional two/three-step flights of stairs, but runs of 15-20 steps in a row, pitching 45 degrees down. It was always amusing to see people briefly freak out as I rode over the top edge.
Rode my motorcycle to California and back (from Michigan) in Y2K, with girlfriend on the back (no, it wasn’t a Goldwing).
Did a “SaddleSore 1000” ride in 2001, covering 1000 miles in 24 hours.
Did a track day later that year where I enjoyed repeatedly hitting the bike’s top speed (~130 MPH) on the straightaway; I declared my track day finished when, late in the day, I boiled the front brake and ran off into the grass on a turn (didn’t crash).
I spent Wednesday driving a 500HP car around the road circuit of the Las Vegas Speedway. The two stand out moments were being in the passenger seat when there was a professional driving in the left seat and when I was in the driver’s seat and decided that braking before taking a corner was for amateurs.
Before you get too impressed, this was just a friendly training session, not a fight for all the marbles. He was one of the best grapplers I’ve ever rolled with and he hit like a hammer; if he’d loaded up on me I’d probably still have a concussion.
Don’t know it is is extreme, but probably the stupidest thing I’ve done is jump off the roof of a 3-story building into a pool. On another occasion, when locked out of a 4th-top floor apartment, I climbed up and over the slanted roof, and hung over the lip until I could drop onto the balcony. Both occurred in college and - yes - alcohol and other substances were involved.
About 10 years back I competed in a few boxing, kickboxing, BJJ, and NHB fights, tho only on a local level and not against any opponents of the caliber as pravnik. It is funny now to think back to how I just accepted as natural various broken bones, stitches and such.
Now, as an old man, probably the most “extreme” thing I do is paintballing with my kids.
Which includes Gary’s description of entering chambers from the ceiling via rope and having to climb the same rope to get back out again.
And snaking through passages that are so low that I have to turn my head sideways.
What’s really fun though is crawling through pools of water that are so cold that my testicles chimney climb up my butt crack to ride it out on my back.
My life has a serious lack of extremeness, but the only purposefully dangerous thing that I’ve done, that I can recall, is this:
In Delphi, Greece, I hopped a fence to a restricted area to see a rare spring/shrine that few in this planet have seen. Then, climbed a steep mountainside to see the ruins of an old gymnasium not on the tourist path, and had to climb a tall fence by a major road to get out, all the while making sure no one was looking.
Scuba dived to 250’ to see black coral in the Caymans. Alone.
Skydiving
Squeezed through small places in caves
Rappelling & climbing
Landed my (dead) plane on I-40
Got some back-seat time in an F-4, A-4, and Huey Cobra, though not as xtreem as Oakminster
Aerobatic stunts in aeroplanes
Flew under a bridge
Diving with sharks
Raced cars on track
Raced motorcycles on track
Ride a motorcycle in Atlanta traffic
Drove up Pike’s Peak
Open ocean racing (SORC)
Hiked the whole AT
Canoed Boundary Waters
Skiied from the top of Piz Gloria
Fugitive squad cop for 5 years
Told my wife it wasn’t actually the pants making her butt look big…
I’ve been rappelling in caves, and belly whomped through the mud with my head turned sideways because the passage was too low to hold it up. I’ve had to brace myself over a crevass while the leader checked the map - oops!
I used to have a boa constrictor. Got rid of him when I was pregnant, we had one too many staring contests. He used to hang off his light fixture and stare at me, sort of gently swinging back and forth. I wasn’t afraid for myself but I was freaked out by how fast he was when he decided to finally eat his mice. Boas + newborns = bad. He was in a big vivarium my husband picked up from somebody. It had a lid but still, more of a risk than I was prepared to take.
I used to hitch-hike a lot. Then I used to pick up hitch hikers for a while to pay back all the rides.
I was training to become a water treatment plant operator and there was a blow out on a 10 inch main just outside the gate and up the street from the plant. We were losing pressure at the plant and were in danger of soon having to issue a boil alert to the community. The maint. team was on call but not all on sceen yet so the director of utilities was digging with a backhoe down to the line and pretty much had it uncovered but the swell from a 10" line at 55 psi is awsome We were all taking turnes in the hole to get a saddle around the pipe and snug it up but it was taking a long time. I asked if the backhoe could be used to let a couple of guys stand on my back and hold me down in the hole. It worked.
Damn… I’d absolutely love to buy Oakminster and Pravnik a few pints & listen to their stories…
As for me, 103 parachute jumps, 1 (round) reserve ride, 1 hour hung up in a 60’ maple. On the day of my last jump, a young lady first time jumper died when she spun around and wrapped up in her deploying chute. I didn’t quit because of that, marriage and a part time MBA, followed closely by fatherhood, put an end to my skydiving career. But by some strange intervention of Providence, her parents were neighbours of people who sat next to my mom in church. I wound up going to their house and explaining the detailed mechanics of how their 21 year old only daughter died.
Did the Crypt lake hike in Waterton National park, where I had to traverse a crumbly shale rock face, using some 6 to 8 inch wide ledges covered in rock debris, over a 600’ cliff with no arresting gear what so ever. If I had know what it was like, I never would have done it.
Took some tactical handgun training where I did some live fire shoot house scenarios.
Last Sunday, sang solo in front of the whole church, right from the pulpit. That was by far the scariest of all of these experiences.
