So there I was at the YMCA, in the middle of another aerobox class. Somehow or other, I had ended up at the very front. I don’t know exactly how this always seems to happen. And I suddenly realized that Emmylou Harris was staring at my butt.
That was truly a surreal moment.
Yet it actually HAPPENED, and she was probably actually WAS staring at my butt, which is a vital component of a surreal experience. It does have to BE real. You see, Emmylou lives in Nashville, belongs to the Green Hills YMCA, and always comes to Katherine’s 9:30 aerobox class. And I was in front of her, so there was no way to avoid the Butt Stare. But it did get me thinking. How often does this kind of thing happen? And what are some other surreal moments that others have had?? Let’s share! 
I woke up and went to work this morning.
Off to MPSIMS.
DrMatrix - GQ Moderator
I lay down to nap for a moment last night, about 11 o’clock, before getting up and writing some more.
I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, it was 5 in the morning.
Very odd.
Last night the wife and I went out to a friend’s Halloween party, and invited our neighbor. She’s very hot, very cool, and one of our best friends here in Madison.
We go to the party, which gets overrun by college kids, at which point we all feel old and decide to split to a little bar on the east side that we go to. Beer keeps flowing, and at one point the neighbor and my wife start flirting and playing a bit of grabass.
I enjoy the view, and the talk gets dirtier as the night rolls along.
Then I come back from the bathroom, and the two of them have hatched this nefarious plot for the neighbor to take me into the Ladies Room and molest me. As you can imagine, I’m pretty cool with this idea.
Fast forward to bar time, and we end up at the adult entertainment store by our house, which none of the three of us have ever been to and which has a pretty seedy reputation. I’m a little drunk and pretty high, and we walk into this place which is just wall to wall sex toys, videos and spank booths. There’s a seedy older fellow in the camo jacket perusing the magazine rack, and except for him and an extremely disinterested clerk, we’re alone.
And then i wander off amongst the aisles of bizarre sex toys, and come back to my wife and neighbor earnestly weighing the pros and cons of various strap-ons. Surreal in and of itself.
Then we go back to the house, and after an impromptu girl on girl show (with aformentioned new toy) on the futon in my studio, we go upstairs en masse and spend the next couple of hours doing fun things with each other in various combination. You know, Tab A into Slot B and such.
Exciting? Damn right. Surreal? You better believe it.
The thing that gets me is that I’m sitting here Doping while two really hot women are naked and cuddling in my bedroom.
I wish I had your problems.
Last night, one of my roommates was getting ready to go out. After a bit, she calls down the stairs for me to ask if there have been any messages for her. I come around the corner, up the next flight of stairs, and find that I’m looking up at her at the head of the stairs, dripping wet and wrapped in a towel. I think it might have been a hand-towel.
Anyway, I reflexively avert my eyes, which prompts her to say, “Hey, relax! I wear less at my gyno.”
Well, all right then. I’ll be right back with my speculum. What the hell?
Last week after school a girl I know asked me what color her thong was, while pulling it out of her pants. I told her I thought it was lavender, while another person nearby thought it was dark pink. We then got into a short argument about exactly what color her thong was, while the girl just stood there holding her thong.
If in the last 3 scenarios, the male character did not “engage” the female in the scenario, you are all irrefutably eunuchs.
Some context-- I was downstairs drinking wine with my other, cuter and smarter, roommate at the time. We’re going out tonight. Whee. (Oh, and towel-girl is an American ex-pat who’s voting for Bush. Oh, and she was getting ready to go out with her pathetic boyfriend, anyway.)
And I’m pretty sure picker wasn’t a passive observer in his scenario. (And he couldn’t get engaged again anyway since he’s already married, the dog. :D)
I cry foul, picker! Your surreal trumps my fantasy. 
Yesterday I had a rather busy day. After my afternoon Crossing Guard shift, I drove to the music store where I teach piano. I went there to drop off a check to the master teacher (my boss), and to tell her I can substitute teach for a fellow student teacher on Tuesday. She had told me she would pay me extra if I could teach that day, I moved heaven and earth to make sure I was available! 
Anyway, I had to wait for her to finish giving a lesson to somebody to talk with her. While I was waiting, some 14 year old girl sees me and just starts bombarding me with questions. I mean, talking a mile a minute, it was awfully overwhelming since I already had about 500 things on my mind at the moment. When she found out I was a student, she BEGGED me to play something for her. Feeling a little smug, I play her a piece I am working on for a recital in December. When I get up, she plays the EXACT SAME THING, only about TEN TIMES BETTER than I could play it. I ask her how long she’s been playing it, she says two weeks :eek: (I’ve been working on that piece for TWO MONTHS :mad: ). Some other guy is playing jazz piano in a nearby studio room, and she pulls the same stunt, “Oh that’s neat, can I try?” and just totally blows him out of the water with the exact same thing. Call me insecure, but she seemed really obnoxious, she was also chewing gum with her mouth open, which was incredibly annoying. Thank god I don’t have lessons the same day she does!
Anyway that was pretty surreal.
Is your name Jack by any chance? I wouldn’t mind a living arrangement like that.
I was at the grocery store today. I was in the act of grabbing a box of cat litter from the top shelf when a totally normal looking woman complimented me on my tight ass.
I was taken for a spin in a Yugo. Which promptly broke down.
No sir. Not hardly.
But it was totally out of the blue, and the most surreal experience I’ve ever had, that’s for sure.
Mine too. The bitch of it is that I’ve spent the past 20 years fantasizing about a scenario like this, and the last year or two it specifically involved the neighbor.
Now I’ve got to come up with a whole new fantasy to desperately cling to.
15 minutes ago, I was going out to get the mail.
My Father immediately announced that I was not allowed to open my own mail, & from now on, all the mail was to be handled by him.
I’m 41.
Mom and Dad went at it like 2 fiends, because he thought he was going to go thrrough her mail, too.
Dad gets these odd ideas occasionally, but they pass.
After we shout at him for a while.
My job can get surreal sometimes, but I’m pretty used to it now.
Heh. I did that before (except for the “women” part) and got soundly Dopeslapped for my troubles.
Well, picker , I guess you’ll think twice before living out your fantasy again.
:dubious:
