I see you live in Santa Barbara. You can actually grow pineapples there, I’ve done it. Take a pineapple from the grocery store, slice off the top, let it dry out a bit then put it in a shallow bowl of water until rootlets begin to appear. Plant it outside in full sun. Water from the top to let the water pool in the leaves.
Hmmm, I see in the end that I was wrong to consider someone not knowing how to screw in a lightbulb as one of the stupidest statements I’ve heard. I hereby withdraw that from consideration. Instead, let’s get back to offering up religious, historical, and scientific stupidity for others to enjoy.
A friend’s mom believes that there’s a spirit world. That is invisible. And is an exact copy of the real world, only three feet higher. Every home, street, building, tree is replicated, just three feet higher. I asked her for more specifics about this, such as whether the spirit people can see the real world and whether things taller than three feet are hard to see because they overlap with their spirit version, but she couldn’t answer, saying that the preacher didn’t go into detail.
I had a friend who lost about $2000 at a casino once. He had to go to the bank several times to keep getting money and ended up borrowing money from another friend. When asked why he kept spending money when he was losing it, he replied that he was on a “hot streak.”
So if someone Really Not All That Bright can figure it out in 8 seconds, how dumb is the person who has to get help?
It wasn’t the fact that he thought they grew on trees that so astounded me. It was the fact that he argued with the guide when the guide attempted to correct his false impression. Hello, idiot tourist - the guy lives here. For many years a significant part of this states economy came from pineapple (they’re mostly grown in Thailand now). He probably knows a bit more than you do about it.
Please don’t. It’s completely valid ASFAI see. Have they never heard “How many ____ does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?”
And haven’t you heard someone describing making a phone call by “dialing a number”? How often have you actually used a dial to make a phone call? There’s a limit to how much set phrases about using devices can be expected to teach you about the way those devices actually work.
Fine. I give up. 
My 8th grade English teacher insisted that pretty much every plant in the Amazon had some sort of medicinal value, and that if we only left it to the natives (who apparantly all work for big pharmacutical companies), we could cure cancer in five years.
I read that in the Wikipedia entry on pineapples. Unfortunately it takes two to three years. I also learned that pineapples are not native to Hawaii and some other cool things. I now know more about pineapples than most people.
I’ve actually got a pineapple top growing right now - I just brought it in for the winter. I don’t know if it will ever actually produce a pineapple (I do not have good luck with plants) but it does make a pretty plant.
You’d also better make sure you have the correct wattage, or you’re liable to short out the lamp, if it’s too high.
:smack:
I mean likely, not liable. Sheesh.
“Liable” is used appropriately in that sentence.
Or set your house on fire. I once melted a lamp with a 100 wat bulb. :smack:
Where can I get a live-in maiden?
I think they come pre-installed in pre-fab castles with the tower/keep option.
I did not know about pineapple bushes either!Can I grow my own pineapple in the northwest if I keep it inside and make sure it has a full-spectrum light sometimes? Do they get big? I have tried growing an avocado before by sprouting it from it’s bulb(?) but it stays spindly and weak and dies before it ever becomes a… a what, an avocado tree? bush? plant? 
Avocados grow on trees with broad, thick leaves. They’re often farmed on hillsides, as they don’t seem to mind, and the land is often cheaper, being relatively unsuitable for other farming or building. Unripe avocados have the consistency of, oh, wood, which make them favorite missles for junior highers to throw at each other while waiting for the school bus.
Oddly enough, that was my exact response when I first heard of the store. It hadn’t reached the west coast yet and I had never seen one.
Two incidents. Shortly after the LA riots, I was on public transit. Two girls who appeared to be denizens of the riot zone were sitting near me.
“It’s a shame about all the stores that got burned down”
“Oh, that’s ok. The government runs all the stores like Sears and Ralphs, and they’ll just put them back.”
I cannot fathom how anyone could be so ignorant of how society works. I guess when the government provides YOU with everything, you just assume they run everything else.
Second incident: When I worked at a school, I froze my water overnight and took it to work. As the ice melted, I had cold water to drink through the day. One of the teachers asks me “Wow! How do you get your water to be frozen like that!” :rolleyes: