After School Special
Meet the Press
Lawrence Welk
Donohue
America’s Funniest Home Videos
I don’t know about that. After all, they DID make The Gong Show Movie!
Touched By an Angel.
NC-17 version.
Gilligan’s Island, if they ever get around to it. There’s no replicating the chemistry of the original cast. The relationship between Bob Denver and Alan Hale was the machine that drove that show.
Square Pegs : The Movie
Captain Nice!
Or perhaps Mr. Terrific!
Captain Kangaroo and the Temple of Doom
They are really talking about making The Six Million Dollar Man with Jim Carrey and directed by the guy who just did Starsky and Hutch.
They considered Wonder Woman with Sandra Bullock.
My vote would be for Star Trek Insurrection.
Or Star Trek Nemesis I can’t decide.
A few weeks ago, my friends and I bemoaned the new “Starsky and Hutch”, and started coming up with our own old TV show -> movie adaptations.
“The Dukes of Hazzard” (and this was before I heard that they are apparently actually doing it) staring those “Dude, where’s my car” alumni Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott as the Duke boys, Danny Devito as Boss Hogg, and Wilfred Brimly as Uncle Jesse.
“The A-Team”: didn’t get too far into this, but we did decide that Michael Clarke Duncan would make a good B.A. Baracus.
**The Real McCoys: The Movie
Ding Dong School
The Modern Farmer
Sermonette
**
The old badly-animated commercial that warned that Aliens must register in January of Each Year. Only this time with real aliens!
She’s the Sheriff:the Motion Picture
Murder in Carter Country- it’s the Heat of the Night meets Hee Haw when a black sheriff (Morgan Freeman) teams up with a hick sheriff from tiny-town Georgia (Billy Bob Thornton) to unseat a fat corrupt effeminate mayor (Sir Elton John); meanwhile Harley (Guich Koock- reprising the role that made him an international megastar) has two dates in one night and Jasper (now played by Jake Busey) is officially a neo-Nazi.
THREE’S COMPANY 2004: the shortest movie in history.
First scene:
Janet- “This is Jack… he’s straight and horny but he wants to live here with us two girls.”
Landlord- “Okay.”
HEAD OF THE CLASS by QUENTIN TARANTINO- a failed actor turned substitute teacher (Dennis Miller) makes a difference to gifted students (Haley Joel Osment, Mary Kate Olsen, Mario Lopez, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Beyonce) until the retarded twin of one classmate (who is now a vampire with a mysterious briefcase) begins a schoolshooting that floods the floors with blood.
TAXI- the story of the zany misfit drivers at an NYC cab company. (The DVD will have subtitles available for English speaking viewers.)
HOGAN’S HEROES- Col. Robert Hogan (Mel Gibson) shows those wacky nutsy Nazis a thing or two about how to fight a war by building a Planet Hollywood and Disney themepark right under their noses. For real hilarity his dad shows up to rescue him and ends up joining the Third Reich.
I LOVE LUCY THE MOVIE: NOT WITHOUT MY LITTLE RICKY- when America’s favorite wacky redhead (Charlize Theron) follows her Cuban bandleader husband (Benicio DelToro) to his birthplace to visit his parents (Omar Sharif & Barbra Streisand), he refuses to return home, confiscates her passport, and becomes a rabidly devout pro-Castro Marxist. In order to sneak herself and son Little Ricky (Ricky Martin) out of the country she must rely on the cunning of her best friends & landlords Ethel (Susan Sarandon) and Fred (Ed Asner). Comic highpoint: Ricky and Lucy trying to sneak out of Cuba on a Donald Duck shaped innertube. A Clint Eastwood film.
How about Mr. Don?
The Joy of Painting: the Movie - starring the ever annoying Will Farrell as the late Bob Ross.
Mother Angelica Live! - starring Della Reese as the nattering voiced, guilt-tripping nun, eye patch optional.
Clutch Cargo totally CGed except for the characters’ mouths (digitally added filmed footage of the celebirity voice actors jaws)just to retain some link to the original. Produced, written, and directed by Tarantino.
I scared myself in a similar thread sometime back when I suggested a movie of Hong Kong Phooey complete with CGI title character voiced by Bernie Mac. You can’t even get ahead poking fun of the Hollywood bastards, shortly after I read they were already considering such a project, no idea who would do the voice though.
M A S H
Star Search!
Green Acres: The Movie
Starring Paris Hilton.
ducks and runs
Hey someone had to say it!
Green Acres: The Movie
Starring Paris Hilton.
ducks and runs
Hey someone had to say it!
My Three Sons, anyone? Tom Hanks or John Cusack as Steve Douglas, Jack Black as Uncle Charlie (or Bub, whichever) and 3 unknowns as the boys. Oh, make it 4 and include both Ernie and Mike.
No joke- at one point both the title and the actor were being considered.