No, but I broke it on a Monday night during the first day of death camp.
Tie between menstrual cramps and tendonitis in my knee.
Cramps: can be really, really bad. In the five years since I ‘became a woman’, I recall one month in which I was not curled up, unable to eat, for at least a day due to cramps. Collapsed in chem class this past spring, not quite unconscious but damn close. (BTW, the one time I recall not being in incredible pain, I’d been living in the woods, doing manual labor for about 7 hours a day, eating all natural food for the previous month.)
Tendonitis: Slowly developed the summer before freshman year. After a bit, iceing it and taking a day off did nothing. By late fall, it was bad. I kept training, because I’m a bad martial artist and don’t listen to my body (I’m still frequently chastised for that). It got to the point where if I wasn’t on ibuprofen, it hurt to just bend my knee. Finally went to the doctor, had it x-rayed, then a sports-injuries-oriented doctor diagnosed it in about two minutes. “Been doing a lot of jumping lately?” “I do tae kwon do, getting ready to test for my black belt.” “Yeah, it’s patellar tendonitis.” Was told to stop training for about a month, which I took as three weeks. Admittedly, it’s partly due to my stupidity, but it will not go away. While it’s not very intense anymore, I’ve had a sort of sharp ache in my knee for the past four years now. It gets really, really tiring.
All my worst pain has been from menstrual cramps or mystery gastro things. That’s the pain that makes me faint or throw up. One night I had both (they go together a lot) and I fainted twice on my way to the bathroom. I walked into a pile of tables my mom had piled up doing renovations and the top table fell on me and I woke up on the floor all confused and I didn’t notice the pain of this stupid table fallling on me and me falling on the concrete floor because my tummy hurt! Then I passed out turning on the light and came to in the bathtub with the towel rack in my hand pulled off in my hand and a big bump on my head that I didn’t notice ti later because my tummy hurt. What is up with that pain!? It’s like an alien is trying to exit my womb via my lower back. Then eating my soft vulnerable organs when it can’t. Then it rests. Just long enough to let me live to worry about where I’m supposed to be or what time I have to be awake for work. And then it attacks again.
I broke my arm gym one day and the teacher didn’t believe me and I didn’t get it x-rayed and set til later that evening. I walked home from school and everything. Another time I fell down the stairs and broke my leg but nobody was around to help me so I hopped around the house til someone could drive me to the hospital. I knew it was broken because of the familiar pain but I found it managable. One time I had a tooth pulled before the freezing took effect and it hurt! I get migraines and they are brutal. But I would take any of them over that bathroom floor hell of cramps. I can manage all those types of pains but menstrual or other severe abdominal cramps take the cake. When I think that some people have chronic intestinal problems I just shiver in awe at how tough they must be to survive such pain. I kind of look up to mothers too because if childbirth is worse than cramps I don’t want to imagine it.
HO LEE Cow!!! I think t-keela wins! ouch, that’s scary!
#1 - Yet another vote for kidney stones. I have a pretty high pain threshold and I still almost passed out.
#2 - A case of “non-specific duodenitis” which did a good enough job of mimicing a burst appendix that they were convinced that’s what I had until they did a catscan ( then they thought it was a perforated ulcer, but one tube down the throat later, they were finally stumped for an explanation ). It was bad enough to lay me up in a hospital for a few days.
#3 - Running through a sliding glass door. That one was definitely #1 in messiness. I looked like somthing out of Hellraiser.
- Tamerlane
Raised intraocular pressure (glaucoma) gets you feeling like if I could just gently stick my finger in and pop that eyeball out things are gonna get a lot better real quick. It hurts, excrutiatingly, but at least it is a very localised pain.
With the ‘fear factor’, the worst pain for me was being dragged along by a horse with one leg in the stirrup, and the rest of me bumping my head and shoulders through rocks and vegetation at full-gallop. (He’d bolted when my stupid dog barked at him) Eventually the bastard snapped my un-stirruped leg when it got caught up with HIS back hoof. That stopped him at least. While we were still gallivanting around the bushlands together, I really thought I was going to die, by banging my head on the ground one time too many, or being crashed into a bloody great gum tree. Fear of death is a wonderful panacea for broken bones…especially once the ambulance turned up and filled my veins with Happy Stuff. 
Oh, and childbirth. Not the ‘birth’ bit…that’s pretty cruisy. It’s that late second stage, just before transition phase when the contractions pile on each other with no respite, and you SWEAR that if you EVER suggest doing this again, you should be declared legally insane. Thank Og for maternal amnesia eh?
Not in any particular order.
Food poisoning
Migraines
Scorpion stings
Partially collapsed lung
Dry socket after wisdom tooth removal
Surgery for oral cancer—the recovery period, that is.
Surgery involving testicles–see above.
All the replies for childbirth make me feel that my C-sections aren’t necessarily a bad thing.
I do hope I don’t end up with Pneumonia this time though. Trying to stand tall and stretch your arms as high as you can over your head for a chest Xray a few days afterwards is not intolerable pain but it also is not a fun experience.
My friends and I call natural child birth going through the play-doh fun factory of life 
When I was 15 I was wandering around the building site where my Dads house was being built and descided to climb some scaffolding, unfortunatley the pole I climbed was not bolted it on and was mereley resting up against a horizontal one. As I reached the half way point it began to topple forward so I shimmied back down it but I was too slow, the end cracked came up between my legs and smacked me square in the nads. After I came round and puked a few times I crawled back to the house to inspect the damage. I managed to ease my trousers down and peel off my blood soaked boxers, my penis and testicles were completley black and I had a gash in my nad sack. I had to wait for two hours before my brother got in so he could take me to hospital due to the fact that the shock had worn off and I couldn’t move.
My worst emotional pain was when I was 6 and my mum told us she was going to the shops (a 30 second walk) to get some ketchup and she got in the car and drove off, when my dad came home we told him and he jumped in his car to go and find her. I didn’t see her for 9 months and i’ll never forget the look on my dads face as long as I live. I want to hug him just thinking about it.
It’s a tie between:
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Two years ago I got food poisoning from poorly cooked shrimp. My fever went up to slightly over 103, and already having a seizure disorder, I had 7 seizures in quick succession, and vomited for about 30 hours. I couldn’t even keep down water, so I had the dry heaves. Because of the seizures, I was incredibly sore. I couldn’t remember my name, the name of my SO - nobody. I knew I knew him, but had no idea what his name was, or what mine was. I couldn’t taste anything for almost two weeks afterwards, and felt no emotions for about 3 days. It took me almost an hour to be able to repeat the alphabet.
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The medication I was taking for my seizures often made me sick. I would start getting cramps in my hips, which would spread up my back until it was just under my neck. Then my legs would begin spasming. Finally, the pain would be so bad I’d start throwing up and having diarrhea at the same time. I would occaisionally pass out next to the toilet afterwards. This would last for about 3 hours 2 or 3 times a week. Then afterwards, I would occaisionally get a migraine, which would sometimes last for 2 days. Finally, I got off that medication and onto another that doesn’t have those side effects. Thank God - I’m 20 pounds heavier, but much, much happier.
I just can’t pick one. You’ll see why.
- Massive ischemic stroke. I always tell people it was the worst migraine I ever had. Imagine tiny people using pickaxes trying to break out of your skull.
- Herniated lumbar disc. Nerve pain is the worst pain ever because medications don’t effect it. You just get loopy.
- Cardioseal insertion. I was conscious when cardiologists inserted (via catheter through my veins) a folded up device into my heart. Feeling the catheter creeping up to my heart was just weird but when it got to my chest, I had shooting pain and couldn’t breathe. I still don’t understand why I had to be conscious for this.
- A spinal tap. The idiot doctor couldn’t hit the fluid part of my spine so he tried 9 times just hitting nerves and bone. Eve, you are a brave, brave woman.
1,3, and 4 occured between June 2001 - March 2002. Cheers!
Wow, just reading this is making me want to break out the Advil.
I can second AmericanMaid’s observation about a herniated disk. I spent several months with a horrible case of sciatica, which felt like someone was shoving a red-hot yet dull sword down my leg. I couldn’t walk so I was in a wheelchair. I couldn’t drive, so my SO would drive me to work in the morning then come pick me up (work was a good distraction at the time). There were times when I would just curl up in a painful little ball and cry. There are no drugs that help. My wonderfully sympathetic doc at the time got me a prescription for medical marijuana, and that helped me sleep at least.
There are definitely worse acute pains, but long-term chronic pain changes your personality, and not for the better. After my back surgery one of my closest friends burst into tears and told me she was afraid I hated her, but finally realized it was what I was going through.
As for emotional pain, I don’t think anything beats losing a child, but the worst for me was during the worst of the AIDS crises when I watched close friend after close friend after close friend get sick and die. I still cry like a baby if I think about it too much.
I know what you mean, I have fibromyalgia and it really does effect my personality. It has made talking to my mother (who has dyslexia/alzheimers) very veery difficult. It’s a trial in patience and frustration.
I have had some bad pains so far.
Short term: When I was about 6, I decided to climb on a countertop using a chair, however, the chair was facing in a way that when I got down, I slipped. A large glass vase hit the ground before me, shattered, and left a big shard of glass to rip open my left hand. One blood soaked towel later and I was at the doctors office. Unfortuneatly, nova cane does not mix with my physiology, so I had to go through stitches in my hand without any pain relievers.
Long term: Fibromyalgia. This comes in attacks, and just plain f’in HURTS. Some of the worst nights are soo painful. Like a poster said above, nerve pain can’t exactly be treated easily, so you have to endure it. It’s very difficult to describe that pain, but in my thighs, they feel like a big rock, thats getting drilled through, and then, like swiss cheese, where theres little people going around scraping around the holes with hot knives.
On my back, the 2 muscles that run up next to my spine just plain hurt. Under my shoulder joint, the most painful muscle resides, it just is one long paaaaaaaaaain. It’s like burning with a welding torch without the heat. Or drilling in one spot but not getting any deeper yet still feeling that same drilling pain.
My ankles creak and hurt like the bones are about to snap. Forearms and wrists if any pressure is applied, immediatley afterwords it feels like some giant person is trying to rip apart my arm, grabbing the elbow and hand and pulling so it stretches the hell out of my bone. None of this actually affects my body, thats just what I feel.
Semi-Long pain: I had way too many of these fake chocolate things, and my body said No. All the rest of the night I was staying in the bathroom, extremely constipated practically bleeding out of the rectum of pain, and inbetween being afraid of exploding with shit, I would run to the sink and dryheave, then run to the toilet and feel like theres an armada of boats trying to breakthrough an invisible dam.
Lasted all night.
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The aftermath headaches resulting from a spinal tap when I was about ten years old.
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Gallstones
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The first half hour awake every morning when I busted up my foot. The blood would start circulating more when I woke up, and I felt like screaming until the drugs kicked in.
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Various romantic relationships.
The worst pain that I can remember is a hornet sting that occured at age eight. I am highly allergic to all insect stings. This one, which was on my right hand, made my entire arm swell up for days on end. All that I can really remember about it now is crying and screaming very loud, I probably drove my family insane.
Now that I think about it, my teenage and adult years have been remarkably free of painful experiences. When my wisdom teeth were removed, I never felt any pain at all, and only took painkillers for a few hours after surgery.
Worst two both in the dentist’s chair.
- Tooth extraction after 8 (eight) (EIGHT) injections of somethong-o-caine.
- Root canal after so many injections of local that he said I couldn’t have any more or I’d OD, even if it hadn’t gone numb yet. After I’d leaped out of his chair breaking his drill bit in half, he gave me more anaesthesia.
I have an unfortunate resistance to local anaesthetics (and Tylenol, Advil etc.).
Without a doubt, it was when I scratched my eye. It was 10x worse than childbirth and put a broken foot to shame.
I’ve only had Cramps From Hell once, and they win the worst pain prize for me. shudders
I have hydrocephalus. There is nothing worse than the headache and vomitting that result from a broken shunt. A migraine(I’ve also had a few of those) doesn’t even compare. It sounds like Eve had something similar when her spinal fluid drained out. It’s very important to keep the spinal fluid in balance and happy. If I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned that. Too much or too little will make you miserable.
-Lil
OK I have had 3 episodes of really major pain in my life. None can top a childbirtf or a dislocation or getting off a bike at 50 MPH (horrors) but I have an hour to go at work and there is nothing to do. So in chronological order:
#3) Had a stomache ache in the morning and was waiting for some office party food (which was late) tried a personal experiment to see if high concentrations of alcohol (95 proof) was a good pain soother. Pain intensified to the point where I was doubled up in pain and couldnt walk after a few hours. Went into the urgent care where i was diagnosed with severe hyperacidity. Prescribed demerol into the largest muscle. Now, correct me if I am wrong but dont you think that if you go into a hospital to relieve mind numbing pain that the last thing they should do is inflict more pain? Demerol burns like liquid fire as it is injected into your posterior and lasts a good 10 minutes before you feel absolutely fiiiiine… I walked out 30 minutes later…limping but not doubled over at least.
#2) This part is TMI so be warned. I had gienourmous hemmorhoids. Gotta have it operated on. Surgeon noted i had the largest in current hospital record. No solid food for 2 weeks after the operation and I lost 10 pounds in the first week. Folks, shitting with an artificially re-constructed sphincter is pure unadulterated PAIN!!! Its like childbirth in mini-scale but I had to do it everyday! walking to the toilet is retardedly and painfully insane but I wasnt going to poop in no basin on my own bed. I was taking mass quantities of pain killers which didnt really remove the pain but it removed my ability to care about the pain.
One night, while especially doped up, tired and sleepy, I took an extra pill just to get the edge off the pain. I started to relax and closed my eyes and actually felt good about getting some sleep. I was feeling no pain and was carefully positioning myself for a well deserved nights sleep. just let this lil goodnight fart go and Im off to…
!!! I snapped instantly awake, tears streaming outta my eyes and my scream woke up the whole house. suuuure its funny now but not back then.
#1) Anyone know what gout is? They call it a rich man’s disease. I am not a rich man but all the food I ate (at that time) were considered rich roods. It seems that certain foods gather Uric Acids which crystalizes (or something) that accummulate into certain joints. most times its in your feet but sometimes it does that on your lower back and hands. My ankle felt stiff when I woke up one morning. As the day went one the pain steadily got worse. It started to hurt. By mid-afternoon it was damn uncomfortable. When I started for my night class, I was slightly limping. Definite pain as if I was newly sprained by nighttime. Took some leftover pain killers and went to sleep. Early in the morning it felt like a cow was stepping on my ankle. Sitting up to look at it was a big painful mistake and my next attempt to remove the blanket and look at my ankle involved 2 family members and a look of grunting and moaning from me. Any pressure or heat, like my wife feeling the skin was intensely painful. Movement of the foot was painful. Standing was excruciating! after about an hour we manage to get myself into the car to get to the hospital.
A nurse applied an ice pak on it to determine if it was a sprain. It felt like she dropped a cinder clock on my foot. There was no position I could go into that wasnt painful. My own blood pumping thru my foot was painful. They shot me with that damn demerol again and I remember that hot fire pain in my butt except this time that pain was so much less than the pain in my foot. A full demerol shot only took half the pain away. They sent me home with a pack of painkillers, ibuprofin, anti-imflammatories and anti-spasmodics and a list of stuff that i was not allowed to eat (anymore) it was everything I normally eat!! 6 days of so much pain I couldnt stand, 5 more days where I couldnt walk without a cane or crutch, 10 more days of walking with a noticable limp and all I can eat are bland foods. no booze, coffee or sodas.