DV8 Sports? Did the founder let his 13-year-old son name the company?
Law & Order reference?
You’re safe from attack as long you’re holding a 1 iron.
There’s a joke about using 1 irons as lightening protection; in a thunderstorm hold one over your head, because not even God can hit a 1 iron.
ETA: Ninjad.
Lightning. Sorry.
The Trevino quote allegedly came about after he was hit by lightning during the 1975 Western Open.
The difference between a “wood” and an “iron” is defined by the face (contact surface) of the clubhead.
An iron has a flat face. A wood has a face that is curved along two dimensions. The curve from heel to toe is called “bulge”, and the curve from top to bottom is called “roll”. Both bulge and roll are measured in radius inches. 10" to 16" (maybe more?)
Why the need for “bulge”? During a perfect hit, striking the ball with the wood’s sweetspot with the clubface 90 degrees to the ball’s intended direction of travel, the ball develops backspin, and rebounds in a straight line. Bulge creates side spin on off-center hits. (Speaking from a right-handers perspective) Balls hit on the right side of the clubface (farther from the golfer) start right and curve back to the left. (Some more than others 
) Balls hit on the left side of the clubface (closer to the golfer) start left and curve back to the right. In theory, anyway.
Why the need for “roll”? To piss off the maximun number of golfers, of course. Balls struck high on the face of the club will have a progressivly higher launch angle, and travel less far than a ball struck on the sweetspot. If the impact is really high on the clubface, it results in an “elephant ass” ball. Really tall, and looks like shit. If the impact is below the sweetspot, the launch angle is progressively lower, and the ball could develop overspin. Overspin will cause the ball to travel a very short distance and dive quickly into the ground.
A set of modern irons usually consists of a 3 thru 9 iron plus any number of wedges. The 3 iron would have the longest shaft (approx 39" overall length), and have the least amount of face angle (loft). The 4 iron should be 1/2" shorter with approx 3 degrees more loft. The 5 iron would lose another 1/2" and add 3 more degrees loft. The 9 iron, pitching wedge, sand wedge, 3rd wedge, etc, are usually 35" long with loft angles from 40 to 65 degrees.
A matched set of clubs is also swingweighted (shorter length clubs have heavier heads) to provide a similar “feel” under dynamic load (swinging the club).
Why so many choices? Each club is designed to land the ball 10, 12, 15, 18 yards farther, or closer, than the club next to it. The distance depends on how much clubhead speed each golfer can generate.
For example, assume Golfer “A” normally hits a 5 iron 150 yds, and 6 iron 140 yards (10 yard difference). If the pin (pin’s placement or the hole) is 120 yards away, Golfer “A” should chose an 8 iron. If the pin is 170 yds away, chose a 3 iron.
A golfer with a faster swinghead speed may need an 8 iron to reach 150 yds. Their club selection would probably be based on a 15 yard difference.
Bingo.