What's your chosen name?

[Southpaw]

@Audrey Levins

My actual IRL “given” name is Marsha. <snip>
All I can do is ask you to imagine if, every time you met someone, they felt compelled to ask you, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

I don’t get the connection

Anyway, I go by my given name; it’s only four letters long and doesn’t have any natural diminuitives (although dropping the final syllable makes my name sound like a verb).

[TwoOnSunday]

My name is Kimberly, but if I hear someone call me Kimberly, I cringe as the only person who ever calls me that is my dad when he’s pissed. There’s this certain tone he uses and…cringe, cringe, cringe.

I respond to numerous other names too:
Kim (most common) Kimmy (only friends can call me that, and I wish they wouldn’t).

Timmers, Tim-tim (my cousin with the speech impediment couldn’t say ‘Ks’ and it stuck). My sisters call me by these names.

And, my dear lovely brothers call me Madison (as in Madison Avenue). They just don’t get the Starbucks thing.

[Draelin]

My given name is Jessica, and I go by pretty much any variation thereof. I usually am referred to by the whole name at work, despite the fact that I always think I’m in trouble when I hear it. Most of my friends call me Jess or Jessie, but Jessie is my nickname of choice–it’s how I introduce myself, so I guess it’s the one I like.

[Audrey_Levins]

@Southpaw

I don’t get the connection

Every time someone hears my name for the first time, they go “MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA!” Or “HEY, ARE YOU RELATED TO MARSHA BRADY?” or “WHERE’S JAN? WHERE’ S CINDY? WHERE’S GREG? WHERE’S BOBBY?” and then, eventually, “I BET YOU HATE THAT, DON’T YOU? HA HA HA HA HA! I BET YOU GET THAT ALL THE TIME! HA HA HA HA HA HA! I WON’T SAY IT AGAIN…MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA! HA HA HA HA! SORRY! COULDN’T HELP IT! MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA!”

In order to imagine how irritating this is, I compared it to another one of the World’s Oldest And Most Tired Jokes, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” It would get impossibly old and immeasurably irritating if someone told this joke every single freakin’ time you introduced yourself. It would be hard to be gracious after awhile. You’d want to go postal eventually, you’re so tired of hearing it.

And people know this, but they still can’t resist.

[RealityChuck]

I’ve gone with Chuck since high school. “Charles” was too stuffy; “Charlie” too much like an insurance agent (and there was another Charlie in my class). My family does call me “Chucky,” partly because a cousin of mine calls herself “Chuck.”

[Misnomer]

@Southpaw

I don’t get the connection

I don’t mean to butt in, here, but if you didn’t get what Audrey Levins meant the first time then her clarification might not have helped you much: “Marsha” was the name of one of the main characters on The Brady Bunch, a popular sitcom from the early '70s.

[Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus]

@tremorviolet

I go by my middle name. My first name is unusual (inspired by the Hobbit, and I was born in 1967, long before the Lord of the Rings was considered even remotely cool) and growing up as a nearsighted pale skinned redhead, I got tired of being saddled with a weird name too. .

Dare we ask…? It’s been a long time since I read The Hobbit and I can’t think of any suitable female characters in it.

And as for LOTR not being remotely cool, weren’t the late 1960s just the time of its first major flush of popularity with students and the counterculture?

[Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus]

1. James
2. Jim (parents and relatives still sometimes call me Jimmy)
3. No…what did you expect?

I’m not that crazy about my name. James doesn’t sound very good with my last name. Jim seems a bit too…backwoodsy, and Jimmy is worse. I’d rather have been given a name that is simple, and which requires no diminuation.

[tremorviolet]

@Spectre of Pithecanthropus

Dare we ask…? It’s been a long time since I read The Hobbit and I can’t think of any suitable female characters in it.

And as for LOTR not being remotely cool, weren’t the late 1960s just the time of its first major flush of popularity with students and the counterculture?

Eh, it’s a variation on “Arwen”. I can’t actually remember if she was in the Hobbit or if she first appeared in Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, LOTR was popular with a certain geeky segment of the population (my dad was a science fiction fan and an EE) but it wasn’t too popular with first graders in 1973. That was before having an odd name was common and, in a sea of Jennifers and Davids, was just one more thing to get harrassed about…

[Cliffy]

@MaxTheVool

I go by the very standard diminuitive of my first name (Alexander -> Alex).

Same here. Alex has just always been my name, although a few people can get away with Al (my dad, my wife, my sister, and my freshman year roommate – anyone else and I probably won’t answer).

–Cliffy

[Southpaw]

@Audrey Levins

Every time someone hears my name for the first time, they go “MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA!” Or “HEY, ARE YOU RELATED TO MARSHA BRADY?” or “WHERE’S JAN? WHERE’ S CINDY? WHERE’S GREG? WHERE’S BOBBY?” and then, eventually, “I BET YOU HATE THAT, DON’T YOU? HA HA HA HA HA! I BET YOU GET THAT ALL THE TIME! HA HA HA HA HA HA! I WON’T SAY IT AGAIN…MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA! HA HA HA HA! SORRY! COULDN’T HELP IT! MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA!”

In order to imagine how irritating this is, I compared it to another one of the World’s Oldest And Most Tired Jokes, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” It would get impossibly old and immeasurably irritating if someone told this joke every single freakin’ time you introduced yourself. It would be hard to be gracious after awhile. You’d want to go postal eventually, you’re so tired of hearing it.

And people know this, but they still can’t resist.

Ooh. :smack: Now I get what you mean.

[Southpaw]

@Misnomer

I don’t mean to butt in, here, but if you didn’t get what Audrey Levins meant the first time then her clarification might not have helped you much: “Marsha” was the name of one of the main characters on The Brady Bunch, a popular sitcom from the early '70s.

I’m familiar with the Brady Bunch, I just didn’t think of the show when I read Audrey’s post.

[Misnomer]

@Southpaw

I’m familiar with the Brady Bunch, I just didn’t think of the show when I read Audrey’s post.

Fine. I will never try to help a brother out ever again.

I’m neither black nor a man. And I have no idea whether you are either (or whether you are, either). “Help a brother out” just seemed like the right phrase for the situation.

[Amazon_Floozy_Goddess]

@Audrey Levins

This is a Deep Dark Secret…but since nobody will remember this post anyway, I might as well 'fess.

My actual IRL “given” name is Marsha.

I F**KING HATE IT.

I’ve only met two other Marshas in my life, and they were both when I was so young I didn’t feel at liberty to bitch/bond with them.

Nobody understands what hell this name really is, so I won’t bother explaining. There’s no point. You won’t get it anyway. You’ll think it’s funny/amusing/minor/petty/what-the-hell-ever.

All I can do is ask you to imagine if, every time you met someone, they felt compelled to ask you, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

It’s already a tired cliche. You’d smirk/chuckle/take it with a smile, etc…for about half-a-million times.

And then you’d want to strangle them.

And they’d think that’s even funnier.

So you’d just have to be gracious and smile and hope the urge to ask “Why did the chicken cross the road?” passes quickly. Before you make Random Person X pay for 27 years of torture all at once. Before you just start screaming and cannot freakin’ stop.

That’s my life.

(Now I should mention that I bartend, so I encounter more new people on a day-to-day basis than some other occupations, but still. If you want to have some fun, just put “Marsha” on a name-tag and wear that name-tag for a whole day. Wear it to a meeting or, ideally, a convention. Multiply that day by 27 years and feel my pain.)

So, long story short, every time I start a new job I intend to start from scratch and call myself something else. Girlfriends call me “Mischka” or “Ree.” (My middle name is Marie.) I always forget and new bosses/co-workers always call me by my given name before I can stop it, but some day…SOMEDAY…I will swear that I’ve never even met a Marsha. Even people who hang out with me get sick of hearing the jokes.

FTR, this is the reason that regardless of what your name is, if it’s “My Ass Itches Jones,” I have never made fun of anyone’s name. Period. End of Story.

But yeah, re: the OP, my chosen name is anything but my given name.

Cruelly, inevitably, sometimes that’s the biggest insult.

Rolls eyes You’re always complaining! Marsha Marsha MARSHA!

flees

[Chronos]

I go by Dan, because I’m lazy and it’s one less syllable. But I’ll also answer to “Danny” (though only folks who’ve known me since childhood ever call me that) or “Daniel” (the official form of my name, unsurprisingly). Yeah, there’s actually something boring about me.

My given name is Gabriel.

I go by Gabe.

And to think my mom refused to name me Joseph, like my dad wanted, because kids would make fun of someone named “Joey”.

The only Gabe I’ve known went by “Mooseballs”. I don’t know if that’s better or worse, but in his case, it was meant (and taken) as a compliment.

[Tibby]

They call me Mr. Poopiepants…but I don’t really know why.

[eleanorigby]

Eleanor–surprise!!

I prefer Her Majesty, Queen of All Things, Whose Beauty is Unwavering.

Didn’t catch on, though.

I also never responded to El, Ellie, Ellen or whatever–I have a cousin Ellen, so that was out. Ellie reminds me of EllieMae Clampet–the less said of her, the better and El is a train that travels the Loop downtown. I have no middle name, so I couldn’t play around with nomenclature like so many of y’all. I gave all my kids middle names, so that they could.

I tend to be called Rigby–I am sooo original, it’s stunning!
I was called Nell for awhile, but people butchered it to Neil (and when was the last time you met a female Neil? People are amazing, no?).

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Jayn_Newell

Inspired by the Ricky pit thread, I realised that a lot of us don’t go strictly by our given names, and that made me curious. So now I ask you all–

1. What do you go by?
2. How did you come about using that name?
3. Any particular reason?

1. I go by Maxie, which is short for my last name.
   [mini-hijack]
   (Not “Max,” either–Maxie. “Max” is my little sister, who is also a little ambivalent about her given name. And I always spell it with the “e” on the end. Address me as “Max,” or write a letter addressed to “Maxi,” and you’ve just lost the opportunity to sell me whatever you’re pitching.)
   [/mini-hijack]

2. The first time I sold a story, which was not long after I graduated from high school, I told my editor that I only wanted to my last name as a byline. She raised one brow and told me that I wasn’t a rock star or an elf, so I needed two names–and thus was coined “Maxie.”

3. I’ve always despised my real first name–simply because of the way it sounds. Someone back in kindergarten decided that “Kyle” sounded like “Cow,” so that annoying nickname followed me all through elementary school and through much of junior & senior high school. At this point, I’ve used Maxie so much that “Kyle” always surprises me.

[Acsenray]

@Giant_Spongess

On a related note, one of my friends goes by Genghis instead of Greg. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s universally accepted, despite the fact that he looks nothing like a Mongol.

Hmm. I know a Greg who’s sometimes called Genghis. He doesn’t live in Ontario, does he?

[Acsenray]

@jsgoddess

The accent around here means that the “Jul” part rhymes with “goal.” So “Julie” rhymes with “goalie.” Joalie.

That’s bad.

But the “ia” gets pronounced “ya.” So, my name ends up being “Joalya.”

It sets my teeth on edge in a way nothing else can.

Oo. And I bet they use that “swallowed L” sound too, so it comes out more like “Joe-ya.”