http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25098
None quite so hair-raising as the tales above.
However…
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High School Graduation, 1988. We went to an all-night party at this huge house out in the country (I’m from a v.small town where everyone had barns - even the houses in town had barns). I lost track of my friends as I scrambled around the place trying to make sure I hit on every guy I had ever had a crush on. One of those "I don’t know if I’ll ever see these people again, so I’d better get bizzy " kind of events. In retrospect it was pretty pathetic, especially since I pretty much hated everyone there, including the guys I had had crushes on. In any case, in the process of a lot of drunken flirting, I lost my shoes. Both of them. Around 5am I decided to walk home (about 2 miles). I remember walking home with a German foreign exchange student whose host family lived near me. I’m pretty sure I was flirting bigtime with him too, but who knows? In any case, I awoke around noon the next day to find I had walked home wearing someone guy’s shoes. They didn’t match and were 2 different sizes, so I think 2 guys were each missing a shoe. I have a vague recollection of finding them under a car. I never found out who they belonged to, not that I tried very hard.
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Home on spring break, 1989. Went to a party at a local college. Round about 11pm, I found myself in the bathroom puking. It was pretty smooth sailing - nothing but beer, until a thing came up. I paused to examine the little thing floating in the bowl, even called in my best friend to take a look. It was the sliced pickle from the McDonald’s cheeseburger I had eaten at least 8 hours before. I take the pickles off the hamburgers now.
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Spring 1992. Having an alcohol-induced spat with a boyfriend. One of those fights we would never have gotten into if either of us had been remotely sober. We got into a wrestling match, and I ended up elbowing him in the stomach. He started puking instantaneously. We spent the next day at the laundromat with serious hangovers, washing all the bed linens, etc.
New Orleans 1989. Not enough food, too much of a hurricane. ( One was too much for me, especially after a couple shots of Jager on an empty stomach.) Went to a restarant to eat and after ordering, kept on asking the waiter “Excuse me, but what did I order?” Must have done this forty times before the meal came.
The bathroom in this place was upstairs, and I’m pretty sure I crawled up the stairs because they were really steep and far away, like one of those Mayan Temples. The toilet in the bathroom would not stop moving and the trip back downstairs I really needed a repelling line for security. Repeat this scene about six times.
*San Antonio, 1991. * With a girlfriend, we did two nights in the Riverwalk area and got completely bombed one night at a bar that did not really cater to tourists, but more for the locals.
My girlfriend and I made a deal to drink each others choice booze for shots. I drank whatever she picked ( can’t remember now.) and I asked the bartender if they had any jagermeister. The guy did a double take at me and said something like, " We’ve had the same bottle here for quite some time. I never expected a little thing like you to ask for it. Are you sure you want to do a shot of it?" I nod and he pours two large shots (in tumblers, not shot glasses.)
My girlfriend sticks her finger in hers to test it and balks on doing it. I call her a few choice words and the bartender says he’d pour something else and not to worry about it. A challenge has been issued to moi and we did a little reparte back and forth and basically it came down to if I could down one jager without gacking, I’d get the second one free.
I down the first and then the other without gacking ( I like jager, am I mad?) and I had the attention of these real men guys. My girlfriend is totally amazed at my astounding non-gacking (that makes me a semi-legend in her mind for the rest of our friendship.)
To make a long story short. I make a phone call from the women’s restroom to my new fiancee’s voice mail at work (it was about midnight) and mumble incoherently over and over and over and over again of “I wuv you. You are so sexy.I really wuv you. Yer the guy fer me…” for about twenty minutes. I had complete strangers in the bathroom leave him voice mail messages too.
Hung up the phone and my girlfriend says,(remember, VM was newer technology then so it was really cool before it became a pain.) " I didn’t know that Ron had voicemail at work."
I replied without thinking, " He doesn’t."
Some other anonymous guy got my drunken message. We laughed and laughed and laughed about that one for months. Almost pissed out pants right there in the bathroom over it.
(The phone number showed up on my calling card and just for hoots and giggles, I called the number up from work and when the guy answered, I cracked up and introduced myself as,
“You have never met me, but you received a really drunk message from me a few weeks ago. I just got my phone bill that allows me to return to the scene of the crime, and I wanted to say HI.” The guy, who was really really nice, said he hadn’t laughed so hard as when he got the message he put it on speaker phone and played it for all the guys at his office. Everyone had an enormously great laugh and so did I.)
The most easily recalled memory was from this past november. My best friend from college just got back from staying on a kibbutz in israel for the past 5 months. We decide to party at her brother’s house, invite some people over, drink, smoke, etc.
I knew I was drinking all night, drinking Molson Ice. I probably had 6 or 7, on an empty stomach. (Mind you, I am 5’2", 130 #) Then I do what I know I should’nt do…smoke. How many times do I need to learn my lesson about drinking and drugging at the same time??? Anyway, I was still feeling pretty good, even though I was pretty drunk, and really stoned at the same time. My friend gets out these cigarettes she brought back from israel. I want one. I take a puff, and immediately I start feeling very hot, dizzy and overall uncomfortable. All the sudden, I couldn’t hear anyone, or even see anyone, b/c I was so focused on my feeling like I was going to die.
Somehow, i made it up the stairs to the bathroom, b/c I knew I had to throw up. I puked a little (since I hadn’t eaten anything for hours), and then just rested my head on the bowl. I heard my friend coming up the stairs to check on me, so I tried to play it off. I moved my head from the bowl to the floor, to try to and cover up the fact that I was puking, but of course any person who wasn’t blind could tell thats what i was doing. Like everyone just hangs out in the bathroom, sitting on the floor. I was laying on the floor and she was in there with me, and I kept telling her I was gonna die, and should she take me to the ER?
I believe one of the hardest things I ever had to do so far in my short life was get up off that bathroom floor. It was like I was glued to it. I somehow made it up off the floor and stumbled down the stairs to a couch, where I crashed instantly. And of course everyone made fun of me the next day.
I lived in a small duplex apartment back in my 20s – one of those GREAT first apartments you never forget – with 2 bedrooms – one huge, one closet sized. I had my first waterbed – which was unheated and flat on the floor in the master bedroom. The foot of it faced the door and directly out the door and 3 feet away was the bathroom.
I had been out boozing it up with a friend of mine and we staggered back into my place after we had closed around every bar in town. I was doing fine, but was tired and I staggered into my room and flopped on the waterbed with a sigh of relief. Several minutes later, he staggered in, tripped on the foot of the bed and splashed down on it.
We cracked up laughing and I rolled on my back and was saying something witty to him when he jogged the bed and my whole world changed. I cautioned him not to do that, when it dawned on me that it was far too late. I rolled off the bed, hit the floor on all 4s and without getting up, trotted madly across the room, out of the door and into the bathroom where I shoved my head into the toilet and barfed up last years underwear.
Even he was impressed, though he was busily cracking up from the other room and later said that he did not know anyone could crawl that fast. I was impressed not only with the speed but the fact that I made it into the toilet without having any mess to clean up.
GEEZ! I felt so much better afterwards.
Mine’s just a simple bachelor party.
I drank a lot right off, barfed into the chips and passed out. I woke up the next morning not knowing who had driven me home and never asked. I never got really drunk again. Knock on wood.
OK, this has been one of the funniest threads I’ve seen in a while, so I thought I would make my contribution.
I worked for a retail company called Z-Gallerie. Originally I was hired to do stock work, but they liked my work so much they sent me to other stores that they were just opening to set-up the stock rooms there. Well one of the guys I worked with, Van, is one of the coolest people I have ever met, and he and I used to get drunk and party on these trips. Well this incident happened when we were setting up the Norfolk,VA store. Van owed me some beer from our last trip so he came over to my room at about 12AM with a twelve pack. So I started drinking and he started smoking some weed. Well about 2 AM I had finished the beer and he had finished his weed so we were pretty well f*cked up and making a ton of noise, blasting the TV, laughing hysterically. Well the guy across from my room came over and started banging on my door and yelling for us to shut up. We didn’t open the door but yelled back at him, called him names, shit like that. Eventually he went away and we crashed.
Next morning at breakfast in the hotel dining room, I hear the Prez of the company, who goes to all the store openings, talk about some assholes in the room across from his. Turns out the guy who was banging on my door was the Prez of my company! The rest of the week I had to dodge in and out of my room and make sure that he was not in the hallway when I went into my room. God, I have no idea what would have happened if he had found out it was me, but I sudder to think about it…
-N
I don’t remember it.
Whoa, now.
Sentinel is banned?
Yup, Rilchiam. Check the Pit for the latest info.
too many to tell, could it be the night I was sick as a dog, lost my voice…got to the beach, started drinking beer, waterskied, lost my voice, continued drinking vodka, spent the night hitting on a pregnant 17 year old (I was 19) till I puked out of the balcony…woke up in the bathtub the next morn…apparently I had made a good impression w/ the 17 yr old, cuz apparently she wanted to take me home…or…
a batchelor party, where it was my job to get the groom drunk, kept up w/ him shot per shot, they wouldn’t let us into the nudie bar since the groom and myself were too drunk, went onto Hillsborough to go to bars, remember puking into the bed of some truck in the parking lot…then apparently I climbed in and passed out, my friends left me there…I was then woken up by my friends as they got home to their apartment, I was passed out in front of the door, no memory of how I got there…
I could go on for hours…
OK… I have a few more.
When I was 16 I went to a Halloween party with my friend Rebecca. I started out just drinking beer as usual. Then they brought out the Tequila. I had never had tequila before… that night was my one and only time! They showed me how to lick, slam, suck (we used limes instead of lemons). I must’ve done 6 shots of that in about 5 minutes. You talk about drunk! Then to make matters worse they turned off all the lights and turned the music up and brought out a strobe light!! There’s nothing worse than being shitfaced and trying to dance with a strobe light going. I remember getting home that night and throwing up in the toilet for about 30 minutes before finally crawling into bed.
This isn’t really a drunk story… just kind of gross. When I was 17 I went over to a friend’s house. He was in college and had 4 roommates and Rebecca and I were playing pool with them and drinking beer. I drank two 40 oz. bottles of Budweiser and then drank 3-4 more cans. I had a pretty good buzz going and was feeling pretty good. Next thing I knew, it was time to go home. I slammed one more beer and then slammed a root beer (I hated root beer but wanted something to get the beer off my breath so my mom wouldn’t smell it!) I dropped Rebecca off at her house and proceeded home. I made it into the house, past my mom and into the bathroom for the next 30 minutes to puke. Once I got into my bed my mom came in and checked in on me and then went to bed herself. She no sooner than got my door closed and I sat up and grabbed the empty Payless bag on the floor and started puking into it. I puked in that bag 3-4 times, wrapped it up in a couple of other plastic bags I had, set it by the bed and went to sleep. The next morning, I got up and took that bag out to the trash before anyone else got up. I called Rebecca to tell her what happened to me and she told me that she was puking that night too.
It still cracks me up that I puked in a Payless bag! But you use whatever is closest to you… plastic bags, tupperware bowle, cups, etc., etc.
Well, at least you know she puts out…