I’ve just dropped in to charm you with a vomit story.
Until a few weeks ago I hadn’t vomited for years. I went to bed with no hint that I was unwell but awoke in the wee small hours with the overwhelming certitude that I was about to vomit. I sat up on the side of the bed and realised that if I moved a muscle I would throwup right there so I tried to wait a few moments until I was well enough to make it the 10 or 12 steps to the toilet.
I suddenly realised waiting wasn’t going to work. As I rose I projectile vomited over the blinds covering the doors to the balcony, the wall and a mirrored wardrobe door. A few steps later I projectile vomited over the bathroom door and floor. Turning in to to the bathroom I again sprayed vomit over the vanity, the wall and the mirror.
When I reached the toilet I had finished vomiting so I just turned on the shower and stood under it for a while rinsing out my mouth and trying to summon up the energy to clean up. See, I live alone.
Unfortunately the energy never came. I had to drag myself back to bed leaving behind the set of The Exorcist to be dealt with later.
I could regale you with stories of the subsequent days spent sitting on the toilet looking at the dadaist art all over the bathroom but suffice to say, if I never vomit again it will be too soon.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest - so to speak.
About two months ago. I got a stomach virus from my kid, who caught it at daycare, and spent 10 hours going from my bed to the bathroom, puking my guts out, and at one point, passing out in the hallway (my husband was there to catch me, luckily), and praying to die.
Before that, it had probably been 3 or 4 years, but that was tequila-induced (it was worth it - 6 shots of Patron + 3 margaritas + karaoke = FUN ), and there were several other instances due to alcohol or other mind-altering substances at various points in the 5 or 6 years before that.
Aside from being alcohol-related, it had been about 12 years since I’d have an actual stomach virus that made me puke. (I puked once during pregnancy, but it was a reaction to some cold medicine).
And the dry heaves always give me all of these broken blood vessels around (and sometimes in) my eyes, which make me look utterly dissipated. I’m sure I’m giving myself brain damage.
From age 11 to age 23. I have no idea what made me puke, either. It might have been some sort of bug, or it might have been food poisoning. I spent all day laying in bed with an upset stomach, and I remember very vividly–I was watching E! True Hollywood Story about Charles in Charge. I guess that was more than my poor stomach could tolerate. I bolted to the bathroom and lost everything.
It’s been 2 years since that, and I haven’t puked since.
I puked a lot as a kid, though. I’m not sure why I just stopped after I left elementary school.
I’ve often wished I would puke, especially after a night of drinking tequila. But it never happens.
That is weird. You should tell your doctor. A couple of female friends of mine reported that frequent vomiting was one sign that their gall bladders were on the way out.
Well, we have quite a spectrum in this thread, from Vomit Virgins to people who Genuflect to the Porcelain God on a near weekly basis. The variety of human experience never ceases to amaze me.
My longest streak was 1984, when I got sick on either Chinese food or KFC (I can’t remember which anymore–I think it was Chinese food), to 1996, when I barfed exactly once and then spent the entire next day fighting against doing it again.
After that, I went from 1995 to a couple of years ago, when once again I got sick exactly once and then spent the day fighting the feeling until it finally went away. Apparently I’m on approximately a 10-year barf cycle, so I’m hoping I won’t need to worry about doing it again until sometime in the mid-20teens.
I’m a severe emetophobic. I’d much rather spend a week with a head cold than five minutes puking. I studiously avoid situations where I might see or hear other people barfing (even in movies), because it sets me off too.
Oddly, watching my cats barf (which at least one of the five does at least once a week) doesn’t bother me.
Since this thread was started, I broke my streak and have vomited 5 times since. However, my current streak stands at around 10 years. That’s how old this thread is: time enough to break a streak and start a new one.
I almost lost (tossed?) it last year or so, and was leaning over the sink dripping saliva into it continuously for a minute until the feeling subsided and I did not actually vomit. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before.
Quite a while? I guess I remember vomiting out the car window after going to “parents day” when my son was in college. That would be about 10 years ago. It’s possible I’ve vomited since then. It’s not really all that memorable, usually.
For sure 23 months ago. I’d had a surgery under general anesthetic early that day and was released from the hospital around dinner time. Felt OK as we were leaving the hospital with wife driving and me riding, but did not make it home without her having to stop so I could hurl on the grass alongside the road. Was fine after that. Except that retching did not make the stiches in my belly happy, not one little bit. Ouch!
Probably been 1 or two other events since then, but I can’t date them. Excess or exotic food, 4+ kinds of drink, and maybe a stogie to finish the evening don’t sit as well as they did when I was 25. But I ain’t givin’ up the joyous things of youth. Yet.
I can’t even remember the last time I vomited. I started with a barf-free streak of 10 or 15 years, `a la Seinfeld.
Then I joined the ranks of the never-vomiters when my G.E.R.D. necessitated a Nissen fundoplication operation. I can’t throw up now. Two weeks ago a severe migraine tried to test this out, and sure enough, despite the best heaving my stomach could produce, there was no … err, product.
That means I have to be careful about certain things, but at least I don’t bathe my lower esophageal tissues with hydrochloric acid on a continual basis any longer.
Well, I can’t beat @movingfinger but the last time was in the spring of 1976. We were having dinner at a friends and I had a toothache. It turned out the tooth was abscessed. Suddenly, the abscess broke and a minute later I was visiting the big white telephone. Just got there in time. Just. Friend drove me home, I saw a dentist the next day and was soon fixed up. The previous time was a case of turista while crossing the Atlantic on the France. Two days later I was fine and nearly everyone else was seasick. Once I was fishing on a party boat with my father and brother. I ate three lunches that day.
And I’m assuming the fish had 3 lunches that day, too? Or did you eat theirs too?
Years ago, I had an abscessed tooth that formed a fistula, and while I never vomited from it, that was vile. I was so relieved when the apicoectomy (don’t Google that if you’re squeamish, and if you do, take my word for it that the procedure turned out to be less traumatic than a filling) worked.
Last time for me was in 2012. I think I had a tummy virus; it was one and done but I didn’t fully get my appetite back for about a week.
I had a really bad bout of vertigo in 2012 or 2013. There was a really bad night. It was the first time since I was a child that I wasn’t able to get to the toilet. Hit me really fast and just made it far enough from the end of the bed so I didn’t have to remake the bed.
I did have to fight off the cat. He was very interested in my 3 hour old dinner. That was crazy, trying not to get sick again, not move my head, fight off the cat, and clear the sick. I did manage to get the cats out of the room and the door closed.
After all the activity, I went to try to go back to sleep, found a position that did not spin the room. then the cats came ‘round and provided needed warmth and comfort as I went in and out of sleep.
), and there were several other instances due to alcohol or other mind-altering substances at various points in the 5 or 6 years before that.