I was deeply troubled to read about the scheduled interview with Princess Diana by mediums to be shown on US cable TV as a pay-per-view. So troubled, that I have decided to save the good American viewers money by giving them an exclusive preview of the message that Diana will share with us from the other side. I call upon the mystical powers of Telling The Suckers What They Want To Hear to reveal these shocking facts even before they happen on the programme!! Remember, you heard them first on the Straight Dope!
- Diana is very proud of her sons.
- She was deeply in love with Dodi and they now live together. She is happy now.
-She doesn’t hate Charles, even after all the horrid things the royal family does. She loves everyone.
-She feels that she was misunderstood in life and no-one really knew the real her.
-She was far smarter than people thought.
-She is upset that she never got to complete her mission of peace and love throughout the world, particularly for children.
-While being very anti-war, she will dodge any possibility of being controversial about current events.
-She will strongly believe that we should all love one another.
-She now hangs out with a mixture of worthy dead people in heaven. She will mention a mixture of Americans and British people that Americans will have heard of and approve of. She will not mention anyone that the average American viewer might not have heard of.
-She is a celebrity even in heaven. Mother Teressa regularly consults with her over cosmic do-gooding plans.
-She wants everyone to buy her good psychic medium friends’ books. They will continue her mission of peace and love, particularly for children, as long as people pay them.
Anyone else have some messages from Princess Diana they wish to share with us?