I would never have thought of this one, but you know, I think I’d LOVE IT!!!
As an alternative I’d like to have enough money to have a catered party, with mostly hors d’oeuvres(sp?) My boss is a good caterer, has done some fancy affairs, including catering to the First Lady’s reception when she visited Topeka in 2002. I’ve helped him with some of those affairs. I’d say “Money is no object. Hire whatever help you need, whatever equipment you don’t already have, and I’ll pay for it.” I’d want shrimp, caviar, champagne, smoked salmon, all sorts of goodies for around fifty people I’d tell him. Don’t look at the prices, buy the best, oh, don’t forget good chocolates. I’ll guarantee a large tip for all the staff.
I wanna’ have a little cottage in a forest that’s made out of gingerbread and has all kinds of goodies inside and outside as well. What? Already been done? And it was a disaster? Well then, that food maker thingy from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
I also would like the Back to the Future 5-second dehydrated pizza zapper, too. It looked like a futuristic version of Papa Murphy’s, even though it was supposed to be here last year!
The Banana Fantasy: The problem with this is that the needle holes turn brown pretty quickly, giving away the prank. You need to get the patsy to peel the banana within a few minutes of the thread-slicing. Putting it in a lunchbox wouldn’t work.
The Dogshit Fantasy: This one is surefire! You give your index finger a fast dip in the disgusting substance, quickly bring your hand up to your face DROPPING THE INDEX FINGER BACK AND EXTENDING THE MIDDLE FINGER, and stick the middle finger in your mouth. No one ever notices the substitution, because shock and horror is already setting in. Now go wash your hands.
If it’s in the context of a magic trick, isn’t it because the trick is to make the audience think you magically used the string to cut the banana but not the peel? The string’s only purpose is to confuse the audience about what is really cutting the banana, making them think you’ve done the impossible.
One element of a fantasy meal already exists in my real life. At the truck stop where we have Thanksgiving dinner, it’s all-you-can-eat and they bring one of these pitchers
I’ve sometimes had the fantasy of having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, only using ingredients found in North America in 1491.
So roast turkey, stewed cranberries, pumpkin, cornbread, pecans, maple syrup instead of sugar, ramps instead of onion, and so on. No milk or dairy, no sugar, no wheat, no rice, no crucifers. Potatoes are from South America, so are an edge case, but if you’re going to do this you might wanna stick with North America only.
It really would have almost everything for a proper Thanksgiving, the only problem is no butter, no mashed potatoes, and no wheat for pie crusts. You could use pecan flour to make a fairly decent pumpkin pie crust, but with no milk or chicken eggs or cinnamon the pumpkin pie won’t be right. Still, stewed pumpkin sweetened with maple syrup in a pecan-nut crust is pretty dang close.
I can’t watch Babette’s Feast anymore without blubbering through the whole thing. But that feast is about at the level I’d like to attempt, too. When you take into account what can be prepared ahead of time, it is just about at the right level for an experienced cook working full time, for 2-3 days.
Bog butter. I’ve seriously investigated how to get my hands on some bog butter. Unfortunately the only answer is “know someone who digs some up.”
… have I just posted three times in a row? One day I need to learn to multiquote.
I re-read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s book Farmer Boy mostly for the food. I sometimes wish I had a farm family to cook for, like that. I like to whip up good tasting home cookin’ type food, and I have practically no one who will eat it. Daughter–no. Cat–no. Husband–yes, in a couple hours, when he’s good and ready. sigh
