What's your snobbery?

In My Humble Opinion
1

What’s that particular thing that you know more about than practically anyone else, or that you have such particularly high standards for that you simply can’t abide the cheap or common stuff? What subject do all of your friends secretly (or maybe openly) wish is never brought up in conversation when you’re around? Conversely, what is that thing that everyone talks to you about because you know so much about it, or buy you for Christmas because they know that you love it?

Literature? Beer? Cheese? Comic books? Opera? A certain style of music? Wrestling? Cars? Porn? Anime? Movies? Computers? Candy? Mexican food? What?

2

I have the inate ability to give felines their True Names, but sadly 2-3 years too late:

I wanted to name my wife’s cat “Pot-Roastus, Intergalactic traveller and devourer of tender slow-cooked cuts of beef…!”

Sadly, he was instead named Hobbes…

3

If I can be truly said to be arrogant about one thing, it’s writing fiction. I know I am a great writer–that is why I am always tearing my shit apart. I know I was born with more writing talent in my little pinky than many writers manage to accumulate in their entire lifetime. I have impossibly high standards for my writing because of how good I have the potential to be–and sadly, this is probably one reason why I don’t write that often any more–nothing’s ever good enough.

I’ve talked to a lot of people who consider themselves writers, but I’ve only met a couple who I think are as authentically passionate about writing as myself. I can be unbearably snobby about the quality of writing in a novel–if a writer sucks, but I find certain plot elements exciting, I’ll just skip to those parts. Shit man, when I was in Mexico I read a book in Spanish that I thought was terribly written (okay it was ‘‘Message in a Bottle.’’ I had no familiarity at all with the plot, but after 30 pages I was like, ‘‘I might as well skip to the part where he finds out she’s a journalist and their abiding love is threatened by her deceit.’’ Sure enough… and even THAT wasn’t worth reading.)

Look, I’ve seen the total shit that gets published, I know I have the stuff to at least make it into print. Problem is, my writing is extremely sporadic now that I’m an adult and have to do things like work and maintain relationships with my peers. Most people who met me late in life have no idea about the hidden writer side of me. They freak out because when it hits, suddenly all I am thinking about/doing/talking about is writing. Doing the dishes, writing in my head. Driving, writing in my head. Working, thinking, ‘‘Wow, I can’t wait to go home to write.’’

Much as I love Spanish and studying Latin America and all that touchy-feely bullshit, nothing in the whole fucking world compares to how I feel when I am on a writing spree. When I’m into it, nothing exists but me and my work.

That is my snobbery.

The thing I know the most about, that people would run to me if they had any questions for, is Friedrich Nietzsche. I’ve had 2.5 classes on Nietzsche and read almost every single work he created. My life has been seriously impacted by his writings and I relate to him on a personal level, too, so I know not only a lot about Nietzsche the philosopher, but I also have pretty good insight into Nietzsche as a person, his private life and how his relationships with others impacted him. I’m just the go-to girl for Nietzsche.

4

It’s a subject with mixed feelings (dread and pleasure depending on person and day) among my friends: history. I don’t love history, since it’s mostly dumb people doing dumb things, but I have a voracious appetite for it as well as a rather unique slant. More than any other field, including psychology, it can be the best way to understand why humans are as they are (both in the actual facts and the biases we use to spin them). For example, my mother switched between exasperation and humor as I took her on the Cynic’s Tour of Puerto Rico during a family cruise.

5

Considerably less intellectual answer than most Dopers will give:

Beer. It’s not that I know a lot about it, in fact I know very little about its history, where/how it’s made, anything a more sophisticated beer scholar would consider basic knowledge-- I’m just snobby about it. I can’t stand 99% of what’s available at gas stations/college parties. I like bloodcurdling Belgian ales and stouts darker than your emo soul. I like bocks, hefes, ciders, lambics, ambers, porters, the list goes on and on… but don’t try to pass off that piss-water from the local pool hall as beer. I don’t care if it’s cheap. I’m sure horse piss is cheap, but that doesn’t make me inclined to drink it.

Also tequila, to a far lesser extent. When it comes to anything not frozen, don’t even touch me with Cuervo (or worse).

My dad thinks I’m snobby about movies, too. This makes me roll my eyes, because I don’t consider not liking movies like The Incredible Hulk and Rise of the Silver Surfer to be a qualification for snobbery.

6

Oh I didn’t realize we’d be giving ourselves blowjobs here. I was just going to say shoes. I think its essential to have nice shoes and nice bags in order to look well put together.

7

Ah, it would have to be watches. It’s not that I’m stupid and spend far too much money on something which mearly tells time (which I can now use my cell phone for), but I appreciate the beauty of understated elegance, workmanship, novelty, and simplicity.

I’d never wear a Rolex because too many people know the brand.

I used to only buy expensive jewlery as presents, such as Mikimoto, since I understood quality. :rolleyes:

Now I’ve gotten over myself.

8

Shoes
Bags (purses, backbacks, etc)
Cheese
Beer

9

Yeah, some of you are being way too modest and making us look like arrogant assholes. :smiley:

10

Not quite what the OP says, but it is my worst snobbery, so guess it counts. I cannot stand for people to go on and on about a simple point of how to solve a problem at work. Especially when the problem has been brought up before, and yammered about to death, then, brought up again, yadda yadda yadda. “Didn’t we bring this up before? Why are we talking about it AGAIN?”, I say. Usually, it’s a topic that everyone gets some energy in worrying about, and it goes on and on.

Drives me crazy. Engage, examine, and resolve it. Yet, there is always some little bit of jerky that needs to be chewed, yet the fucking again.

I’m a Sisyphus snob, I am.

11

I’m a ridiculous food snob. In every way. I avoid eating at other people’s houses at all costs, because most of the time they serve things I wouldn’t feed my dog. I even hate the smells of people’s frozen microwave lunches wafting into my office. When I shop, I usually buy whole fruits, veggies, rice or grains, and fresh meat or fish. I do buy some prepackaged stuff like yogurt and cheese, but it’s usually top shelf. I avoid prepackaged meals like the plague.

I’m willing to try new restaurants, but I can usually tell right away if they are going to cut the mustard or not. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the floweriness of the description on the menu either. Either they use good ingredients and care about quality or they don’t. Fast food is generally repulsive. Yeah, I’m Picky McPickerson.

12

It used to be clothes. My wardrobe was full of stuff from local and international designers, Vogue was my bible, and I looked down my nose at people who had fake designer bags - “ugh, who does she think she’s fooling”, I’d sneer. Then I got over myself. :wink: People never buy me clothes/accessories as gifts though, since they know I’m so picky. Well, except my fiance - but you can’t go wrong taking someone to Louis Vuitton and saying “just pick whatever you want.”

I’m also a preserved prune snob. When you first open the container your mouth puckers then starts to water. When you eat the prune your whole face puckers and it tastes like heaven. 5-10 years ago you could get great preserved prunes in Melbourne but now they don’t have the right salty/sour balance. Nowadays you have to go to SE Asia to get the right ones. God I miss prunes.

13

Yeah, shoes would be mine too. I’ve always liked shoes but a coule of years ago, I started getting into designer shoes. Now I buy far fewer pairs a year but the shoes I do buy are very upper end. I also follow the shoe trends and can tell you whether a shoe is a knock-off of the Louboutin Gwenissima pointy-toed platform pump or the Gucci pointy-toed platform pump and which is more current. I’m also extremely picky about shoe construction and materials. (Clothing too. I’m not as fashion forward with clothing but I like well-constructed clothing, not cheaply sewn, badly put together stuff from China.) Friends know I love shoes and tease me about it but I don’t think they know just how snobbish I really am.

ETA: I’d also have to say food as well. I shop exclusively at WholeFoods now. I had to hit a regular grocery store yesterday 'cause I needed leaf bags and, ugh, so much horrible, unhealthy food. I can’t stand cheap, processed food.

14

I tend to agree with tremorviolet re: processed foods and cheap crap to eat.

I’m a bigger snob about 7-11. A friend of mine raves about the coffee there, but I won’t go near the place. Every time I think of 7-11, I think of scuzzy-looking people buying beer and cigs at 6am, questionable neighborhoods, robberies, and such. I could be totally skewed in these views, but something about 7-11 says STAY AWAY.

15

I’m much the same as you with regard to writing, olives. Actually, I have the high standards, just not the skill (at least with prose; my poetry tends to come out somewhat better). After three years of working on a novel, all I have post-deletion is fiftyish typed pages of original text and notes. I will, however, stick through reading crap and complain about it afterward.

I’m also extremely picky with music. Can’t stand most 20th/21st century stuff (minus Shostakovich, Khachaturian, Mahler, a few bands, and some movie and video game soundtracks).

16

Most of my friends and family (in Japan and the US) know about my love of Tokyo Disney Resort, the Disney theme parks outside Tokyo. So, whenever there is a question about them, they usually come to me for an answer.

17

I know cigars. Fine Havanas from Cuba, certainly, but also sticks from other cigar-producing nations. I know about (and smoke) only the best. Totalmentes a manos when I can. They cost a bit, but they’re worth it. I have been able to parlay my snobbery into a few writing gigs, for various retailers and publications.

A close second is my knowledge of and experience with pipes and pipe tobaccos. My pipes are only handcarved, and little works of art. But I use them, and the care their makers put into the aesthetics are just as prevalent in their smoking qualities. To a North American pipe smoker, a Max Brandt pipe is both a rarity and a treasure–and mine looks and smokes beautifully. I also smoke Stanwells, Lorenzettis, Brighams, and Jensens. Lovely pipes, but not what you’d find in the local corner store. (Kaywoodie? Not in my house!)

As far as pipe tobaccos go, I again insist on only the best. Tins of tobacco from Denmark, England, and Ireland are in my humidors. Lovely Virginia flakes with hints of Latakia, shag-cut Virginia and Burley with aromatic Cavendish, and honeyed birdseyes are among my stash. But never anything that I can get at the corner store–it may be snobby, but if it is for sale at the supermarket or drugstore, it’s not for me.

Sure I’m politically incorrect–I know about and enjoy smoking cigars and pipes. But at least I’m a snob about it! :slight_smile:

18

Shoes here too. But only snobby about a subset of them. Flip flops, the most un-classy thing in the world. I loathe them and think bad thoughts about those that wear them to class, to fancy-ish restaurants, or just to wal-mart. If Sandals are too fancy for you, you need to buy some class.

19

Using the web. The fact that I had to explain Snopes.com to my girlfriend tonight about made me scream. I did scream, earlier, when she sent me the, “Your cell phone number will be released to telemarketers tomorrow” email. That is like, so 1998.

20

IT’s a weird topic, but I am a snob about air travel behaviour.

By this, what I mean is that I’m an ace air traveller. I’ve done so much of it that I am pretty much the lowest-maintenance customer the airline can have. When I get to the bag drop off counter I have all my shit ready to go. when I get to security I’m de-shoed and have my stuff properly arranged on the security conveyor in a matter of seconds. When I get on the plane I’ve got my stuff stowed away and my ass in my seat in an instant.

Other people, well, don’t. I flew to LA today and found my fellow passengers impossibly exasperating. People get tothe check in counter and they didn’t print their boarding lass, their ID is pakced awya in a knapsack and they take minutes to find it, they’re in the wrong line. They get to security and take longer to unload their stuff than I take to cook a five course meal and they still have metal in their pockets. If it’s a US-bound flight customs is a horror, and then getting on a plane is excruciating; people don’t know eh nto line up., and when they finally get into the plane only when they get to their seat does it occur to them that they need to find a place for their enormous suitcases.

The thing is, though, that I acknowledge this is snobbery, because my perspective is just not a fair one. I’ve flown - shit, 200 times in the last four years? Of COURSE I’m good at it. But most of the folks I find myself irritated by don’t fly much at all. For some of them it may be the first flight they’ve taken in years, or shit, maybe ever. It’s perfectly reasonable that the weird ballet of commercial aviation would be a bit confusing to people who don’t fly much, and that they would not be able to aprpeciate the flight-delaying slinky effect of not having your carryon ready for stowing. So I’m always careful to be nice to people, because my perspective is not a fair one.