Back when I was in the corporate environment I would just say, “I’ve got to download some vital data into the mainframe.”
Reminds me- the drill sergeants would always get pissy-assed if you called it anything but a latrine. The very word “latrine” conjures up the smell of urine.
Your pants are on fire. Where do you go? Bathroom, washroom, toilet or other?
Bathrooms should have a bath, or at the very least a shower. The OP must mean the loo. Doing the washing in the loo just sounds dirty to me, it should definitely not be called a washroom (Yes, I understand it’s a euphemism, it just sounds wrong. And I also know where “loo” comes from. Who says I have to be rational, I’m just right.)
I’m currently teaching English to two little children who will be moving to the US. I debated consistently saying “bathroom”, but decided on “toilet” in the end. “Toilet” (almost French pronunciation) is the Dutch word, and so is much easier for them. As all Americans will know what they are asking for, I decided on that one.
I’m really surprised at all the Americans who say “loo”, I thought that was unheard of over there.
Home or with non-uptight folks: the Terl (Archie Bunker voice).
Work or elsewhere: the Lavatory.
Bathroom if it has a ath or shower, bog otherwise.
restroom or bathroom, at home or with military buddies head.
I typically will say “bathroom” at home. Outside of home, I now tend to default to “restroom,” although I do use “washroom” as well. There was a period of time when I referred to it as a “toilet,” but that’s when I was living outside the US where asking for the “bathroom” was often met with the smart-ass reply “Why, do you want to take a bath?”
In the Caribbean, I’ve seen signs with male/female stick figures, W.C., and an arrow. I always remark to my gf, “Hey, they sell men’s and women’s western clothing that way!” She always slaps me.
I don’t call the bathroom the “John” any more - renamed it to “Jim”.
That way, I can tell everybody I wake up and go to “The Jim” first thing every morning.
To tell you the truth, if I were at a friend’s house I would ask “where’s the bathroom?” but out in public I always say “restroom”
I voted restroom though because I usually only need to ask where they are when I’m out in public, and only once when I’m meeting with a friend at their place for the first time.
It would be rather odd to call a bathroom in a house a restroom, just doesn’t seem to work. But to me, it’s almost as odd to call a public restroom a bathroom.
Jeez you Brits and Aussies and such, “bathroom” is a euphemism for “toilet,” which we Americans avoid using because it is an offensive word.
I usually call it the shit-hole.
excretory enclosure.
My personal favorite is “the facilities”.
Hahaha, I forgot about that one. I had a friend who always asked where the facilities were. 
Good times.
I call it the “loo” as well. It’s short for Waterloo, I believe.
I’d never ask for the bathroom. Lots of older houses in the UK have separate loos and bath-tubs. So that wouldn’t help!
Always in a pub or restaurant I would ask for the ladies. In someone’s house, I’d ask for the loo.
Edited to say I’d rather ask for the lavatory than the toilet, if someone didn’t seem to understand what a loo was.
It seems to be more common in SA than NSW to have houses with toilets separate from the bathroom, even in houses that aren’t (and never were) built with external toilet setups.
I remember when I moved from SA to NSW, usually when I went to someone’s house I was mildly bemused to find they usually had their toilet in the bathroom, and when people came to our flat it was oft times a topic of conversation that our toilet was separate, especially because it was a flat (“Oh, your toilet’s separate, ours is in the bathroom”)
Can’t speak to the other states, I haven’t been around them enough. But that’s mostly what I’ve noticed between SA and NSW anyway.
Usually with friends, I call it the potty. When in more polite company, it’s the bathroom. Usually I ask where the bathroom is, but every once in a while, I’ll ask where the toilets are.
Being American, I can’t make myself say toilet, even here in Australia where it’s polite, it got drilled into me as a child that it was rude. I say loo.
My son got told off for saying bathroom by his year 5 teacher (we were FOB at the time). I was pretty angry about that, she clearly knew what he meant and there was no need to embarrass him in front of the other kids by making him say toilet, which made him uncomfortable to say.
I was raised to think that toilets are IN bathrooms with baths and sinks and so forth, and the polite term for the whole room was the bathroom and that it was impolite to ask for the toilet. I don’t have an opinion on the rightness or wrongness of this, just that it is what I was taught. Lavatory was the word to use in school, polite society and restaurants.
Sierra Indigo and Giles are right though, in that lots of places here in New South Wales, particularly older places that are common in the neighborhood I live in, often have the toilet in a room of it’s own as it was originally located outside and had an attached septic tank or - more often where I live - was emptied by the nightsoil men. Let’s just say the back corner of my garden is the most fertile spot in the whole place.
As I go more and more native, I have once or twice asked where the dunny was, but I’ve been here 10 years now. I still have a reflexive twinge at the use of the word toilet, but I realise it’s silly.
I am well aware of that. I was making the point that the usage is systematically ambiguous. Actual rooms with baths or other washing equipment in them need not contain a toilet, and I am reasonably sure that they sometimes do not, even in the USA. I am sure that in the USA there are also rooms with no bath but a toilet, and there are probably some (perhaps rarely) with a toilet but neither a bath nor basin. Certainly in the UK, and I expect in other countries, this latter arrangement is common (although a room where you can was will normally be immediately adjacent, if this is the case). The common American use of “bathroom” to mean “room where there is a toilet” is a euphemism that can easily lead to confusion. The OP invited such confusions, and does not seem to have considered the fact that many people who see this poll will not be American. The poll really should have accounted for that.
And yes, I am aware that all words for toilet, including “toilet”, were originally euphemisms* (or anti-euphemisms like “shithole” or “bog”). That does not alter the fact that the most common American euphemisms for it, notably “bathroom” and “restroom” are ambiguous and potentially misleading in the way that dead euphemisms such as “toilet”, “lavatory”, and “loo” are not. Like dead metaphors, these (the first two anyway) have turned into regular, literal, non-euphemistic terms in British English, whereas the usual American terms retain a strong air of prissiness.
Incidentally, my American born wife usually said “potty”, which seemed to me not so much prissy as childish. Furthermore, in Britain “potty” means mildly (and harmlessly) insane.
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*I have heard it claimed that the now obsolete term “jakes”, never was a euphemism. I do not know if that is true. If so, I would be in favor of reviving “jakes”, though I suppose people called Jake might not be too happy about it.