From The Princess Bride: “Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”
Although it frequently is replaced by the Hockey Song[sup]TM[/sup]: nah-naah-nah-nahnah HEY! nahnah nah nah, nah-naah-nah-nahnah HEY! etc.
It used to be “The mind is a muscle that can move the world.” I stole it from Firestarter by King.
Now it is more simple, just a mindless repetition of “Joy, health, success” (Sometimes I substitute wealth for health.)
Hmmm… none zen, really but mine are…
“I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds. And all those that hear my voice SHALL tremble!”
– -- – Paraphrased slightly from the Baghavad Gita
“It coulda been a LOT worse…The Devil coulda made poor ol’ Uncle Versy tote HIM!”
— --- — Jerry Clower. It basically reminds me to look for the bright side. It can always be worse than it is, even if the Devil toted off Uncle Versy.
and finally when something bad is about to happen, I go with the old British Navy prayer: “Dear Lord, make us Truly Grateful for what we are about to receive.” Usually prayed immediately before receiving a broadside.
well… I guess my signature would qualify as a mantra of sorts too…
I’ve got two that I try to live by:
What – me worry?
and
Don’t quibble about the small change.
I’m not always successful, but mostly so.
My needing-to-calm-down mantra is as far into Ulysses by Tennyson as I need to calm down, usually recited to myself very fast. I think I used it at some point during my wedding ceremony so I wouldn’t cry. “It little profits that an idle king/By this still hearth, among these barren crags…”
Also the Jesus prayer, for serious illness or other sudden problems. I’m not sure what the two in conjunction say about me. Maybe my sig will become a mantra, too. 
Usually recited at about mile 10 of a half-marathon:
“Get on up!”
“Get on up!”
Now say it in a James Brown voice:
“Get on up!”
“Get on up!”
Usually gets me to the finish line.
Fear is the little death that causes total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me,
And when it has gone past,
I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
I know, I know…I am a total freako, but I do say this. It’s usually helpful to remind me that, in the greater scheme of things, whatever it is I am worrying about or fussing over will turn out okay. I’m just one person, and there is only so much I can do. What good is fear?stress?insecurity?
FaerieBeth, the weirdo sci-fi fantasy chick
“This is fucked.”
(a friend’s mantra, for the many years i’ve know him. i think he’s unhappy right now, for some reason.)
Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer.
Taken from a Modest Mouse song:
“I don’t feel and I feel fine.”
“Move it, fat boy” - aimed at myself only, though I’m not fat. It’s a personal mantra to ward off procrastination and idleness.
Depending on circumstance:
When I need help just getting through the day
“Give me this day my daily bread.”
When I’m procrastinating
“Do it! Do it! Do it!”
When things suck
“Nothing lasts forever.”
or
“In a year, you’re not going to give a damn about this.”
Well, when I’m really trying to get myself psyched up for something, I usually dig up the old SuperEgo.
“You are an unstoppable force. Fuck them if they try to stop you. I leave nothing but death in my wake.” Usually followed by growling and slapping myself a bit.
When it’s not that serious, a quick “Fuck it, let’s go” works really well for me.
When I’m feeling either very happy or very sad: “I’m fucking lucky!”
Because it’s true. When I’m happy, it reminds me to be grateful for what I have and not to take good things for granted. When I’m sad, it tells me that things could be a lot worse.
I like this. 
“Miss Emma, Miss Emma, get your big leg offa me…”
Asleep at the Wheel always helps.
Arisu: That song actually has a name. It’s “Rock and Roll, pt. 2” by Gary Glitter. I have it on a Ronco compilation album I bought about 26-27 years ago. Whodathunkit?
Not Ronco, it was K-Tel.:smack:
Waddamaroon!!!
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” Carlos Castaneda
I also realize I tend to do ‘countdowns’ a lot… to myself… ie. “10…9…8…”
Hrm. Wish this thread wasn’t leading me to the conclusion that all those people who have told me I was weird throughout my life were right…
I tend to use the following mantras interchangeably:
~ “Don’tpanicdon’tpanicdon’tpanic!!”
~ “What’s this fish doing in my ear?”
~ “I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style.”
Obviously, Douglas Adams has been a big influence on me. But when things get really bad and I really need to recenter myself, I tell the following joke to anyone who will listen:
~ Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
~ A: Because he was dead!
Just typing that makes me crack myself up. I think that is simply the best f’ing joke in the world.