Thanks everybody.
Well, he got a role - not one of the 2 male leads which he hoped for, but the 2d largest supporting role. On stage in several scenes, several lines - including some of the funniest ones. So I think he’s pretty satisfied, although he said if he wasn’t able to get one of the 3 leads in this play, perhaps he might be better off putting his energy elsewhere other than auditioning for the upcoming drama. HEck, he’ll be working plenty hard at college next year - I have no objection to his kicking back and taking it a little easy!
She applied to be make-up head - haven’t heard yet whether she made it or not.
I didn’t intend to suggest that either of them anticipate/desire a career in theater. I think he may have at one time dreamt of being an actor/writer, but now I think he figures that those would likely make better avocations than careers.
She is very successful elsewhere - in school and music. I’m not big on armchair psychology, but I suspect she may exhibit some “youngest child” symptoms. She wants an acting role because it is more in the spotlight - moreso than her music as part of an ensemble, or her academic successes. And I think she is somewhat frustrated at not having as clear an idea of her future goals as her older siblings. But she’s still plenty young …
The main thing I was concerned about was the family dynamics. They sure aren’t as bad as Shag and his brother Damien. But as a parent you see all the ways your kids could benefit from a close relationship, and how strife/competition hurts them both at home and socially. But they have to work out their own relationship, not what their mom and dad might wish for them.
Being in a play is a huge committment - it impacts the entire family’s schedule. When a family member is involved in something important I prefer it to be something the whole family can openly support them in. To that extent, if one member is harboring a grudge over real or perceived slights, it can cause considerable tension. We’ve experienced it before and hopefully have gained experience that will help us avoid a repeat.
As a parent I find it so hard to deal with what I consider my kids’ unrealistic expectations. They are way more accomplished than I was at their age. Yet they seem to not sufficiently appreciate their successes when they encounter a setback in something like trying out for a play. It is tough to effectively teach them that they don’t always get to win a competition no matter how much they want to win and how hard they work. And you don’t want them to respond to a particular lack of success by not trying in the future.
All in all, I’m very aware of how fortunate I am, that the “problems” my family faces are so minor and that my kids overall are healthy, so successful and appear reasonably content. Thanks again for your thoughts.