“Where are the damned Ent Wives?!”
I’ve already done my duty in the War on Christmas. In June I was in Stockholm and I ate reindeer. So when The Fat Man doesn’t show at your house come Xmas it’s because he was short a reindeer which I ate, medium rare, along with a fine Spanish wine.
How DARE you tell us that and then not bring any to pass around!
Coal in your stocking, buster.
For the record, that over-sized snow globe plays FOUR songs. Over and over and over. Yes, the lights do flash but at least they aren’t flashing into our bedroom windows.
However, they are flashing into other people’s kids windows.
I think a lynch mob is gathering. I told them that I had permission to shoot them out from online strangers and one of the other neighbors offered to build a clock tower just for me.
I agree that the best plan is to ramp things up. We are discussing lawn gnomes. This looks like a good place to start.
I’ll start decorating for Halloween on the first. There will be lots of flashing red lights (dripping blood) over deformed pumpkins.
I shall overcome!!!
Ah, I was able to upload apicture for your viewing pleasure.
I don’t remember where I bought it from, but it would likely have been Target or Home Depot. My Google-fu for “halloween tree face” comes up with similar stuff on pinterest, a few of which are also pretty good.
You’re in Texas. Anything goes.
Good man. No white feather for you, Sir!
Gnomes! Wow! I wasn’t sure that was hard core enough until I took a look. I particularly like the dinosaur eating gnomes and the hunter. You need to work in lights and music somehow…
I look forward to pictures! 
People advocating vandalism should be aware this is a crime, and they should be just as ashamed of themselves as the people putting up decorations this early.
What you should do is look into your local ordinances and if warranted call and report them for whatever illegal nuisance they are committing, if any.
Sooooooo, can I infer from this logic that those who have advocated murder should NOT be ashamed of ourselves? WooHooo! I feel…What’s the opposite of shame? Pride? No, not that…Less shame…yes!
Hubris. 
You, Sir, are a Spoil Sport.
I imagine that you are a lawyer, an accountant, or a Very Religious Person.
Humor…it is a difficult concept.
Perhaps the best approach is to put Lawn Gnomes in your yard.
Every night, about midnight, go out and move then six inches closer to the miscreant’s house.
Well, speaking for myself, I’m neither a lawyer nor an account by I definitely am a Very Religious Person with an extra helping of Humor, but Christmas decorations that are not Nativity-ey (e.g. lights, snow, snowmen, Santa Claus, reindeer, etc.) are not part of my religion and even then, at least wait for the start of Advent, November 29th for the decorations.
Of course, you can decorate the inside of your house with as many color lights as you wish so that it puts a 70’s gay disco to shame, but outside on September…I’m sure it’s a sin. We Catholics have lots of sins and I’m sure it’s on one of our books.
I won’t advocate neither vandalism nor murder, but maybe renting a searchlight…I’m just saying…could make a point.
The family three houses down from me has spent something like eight months rehabbing their house. They’ve had the front yard dug up, added a room to the back, installed a new furnace/air conditioner, had the driveway repaved, and replaced their roof.
I swear on my mother’s grave, they left their Christmas lights up through all of this.
Legally, I think you don’t have much ground to stand on, re: shooting your neighbor for putting out Christmas lights.
[Citation needed.]
I’ll take a cite on that, as sure as your name is rebeW… 
I got a twofer!
I tried searching for the original news story, but Google-fu failed me. I’m in Charelston right now; when I get home I’ll ask my gf for an update.
And leave some fake poo - that looks like it came from a house-sized lion - nearby.
More seriously - even in Texas, you can’t shoot your neighbor for putting up their Christmas lights already. I recommend shooting the lights instead.