My wife and I, friends, and relatives have bought microwave ovens over the last year or so.
When did they get so god damned pissy???
Jebus Fuggin Khrist!!
Put something in it to cook later and it beeps and buzzes for 60 hours straight to remind you that you did that.
Cook something for 3 minutes, let it sit to simmer for a while (like goddamn soup) and it beeps forever and a day to let you know who the f*ck is really the boss in your fuggin house!!!
It’s done cookin’ my shit, beep for 3 seconds and then shut the mother funk up!
I don’t need to hear a “beep” every 13 seconds while I’m doing my ol’ lady doggy style just because my can of cheap ass soup is done!!! Shut the @#$$% up you electronic piece of shit!!!
Gawd I miss the 80’s!!! Electronics knew their place back then!!!
What I have done with these is take the cover off and destroy or disable the buzzer. You can stuff tin foil in the vent hole or screw a small screw in there. If I want to make it permanent I can unsolder it or just break it in place with a side cutter, but that is risky if you have not done it before.
1.) “spawns of Oedipus”? I like to see more classical references, but I don’t understand this one. Antigone’s gonna come down on your ass for comparing her to a microwave.
2.)
I’m not familiar with this technique. Exactly where do you put the ass soup when you’re doing it doggy style? And I hope it’s the soup that’s cheap.
Ooooh…I hate that “your food is done, please come get it out so I can stop beeping” beep! My own microwave is old enough to know its place, but still beeps too loudly…I want a volume control! But the microwave at work, and the one at church, are naggers. Especially annoying when the directions CLEARLY state to let the food stand for a minute or two when it is done heating…so stop nagging me to get it out of you like it is causing pain or something! When I have to replace my old microwave, you can bet I won’t be buying one that nags!
At the risk of derailing the funny with an actual answer: check your manual. On some models you can silence the beep entirely. On others, you can program in multi-stage cooking. It’s intended to let you program, say, 5 minutes on 30% power to defrost and then 2 minutes at high to cook (perfect for Amy’s Enchiladas) all at once, but you can also program in a period of time for the timer. So soup would be something like 3 minutes on high, 2 minutes on timer while the heat evens out, and then it will alert. Or 3 minutes on high, 20 minutes on timer if you’re Doin’ It’.
Our power went off a couple weeks ago because of a storm, so the clock went out on the microwave. I couldn’t use it even to heat something up until I reset the clock – including the month, date, and year. Yes, I had to enter the year before I could nuke something.
My microwave is fine. Except for one thing. It supposedly has a sensor on it so that I could use that and it would automagically “sense” when my food was fully cooked and stop itself, instead of me entering an arbitrary time. Whatever. I never use the sensor cooking - I’ll enter my own time and you’ll like it. However, I think that sensor is futzing with the last second of my cook time.
Routine is this: open door, toss in food, close door, enter cooking time, press Start. Microwave starts and counts down and all is well in Snicker’s Universe. Until that last second. That’s when the sensor kicks in (probably because I’ve neglected it) and does its sensor thing. “Is Snicks’ food cooked well enough? Maybe? Let’s look.” That last second can last anywhere from a real-time second to like 10 seconds or more. Then we finally get the beep that “hey! food’s done!”
It annoys me to no end. I’m all ready to get my food, but have to wait for whatever the duration of that last second is this time before I can get it. And it always changes. Sometimes it’s right away, sometimes its a little wait, sometimes it’s a big ass long one. It’s obnoxious. I yell at my microwave when this happens.
I guess that makes more sense since he said “spawn of”. Here I was thinking his microwave killed his father and slept with his mother then poked his eyes out. I’d be really pissed too, if my microwave did that.
