When did the term "first name buddies" become obsolete?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I remember that even in the 80s, it was a popular meme in court dramas that if someone slipped up and called a person by their first name, it was evidence that they were friends and in on it together.

For example: Say your name is James A. Barnes. It was assumed that anyone who wasn’t good friends with you would call you “Mr. Barnes.”

So in court when a witness goes on about “Mr. Barnes” and at one point in his testimony he says that “Jim told me that I should…” the State immediately jumps on him and says, “So when did you all become first name buddies?”

It seems an anachronism because unless the person is 70 years older than me or in a position of power, after the first meeting with him or her, I default to first name usage. It seems that most other people do as well. When did this change become common?

2

I’d say the 80’s is just about the latest you could get away with such a scene.

3

Not “first name buddies”. The term was “first name basis” as in “Since when are you on a first name basis?”

4

Yes. Thank you for the correction.

5

I took a job with the city/county of Indianapolis (Naptown) in 1978. Everybody was first name - EXCEPT the (highly political*) Director - he was always Mister - even in private, with nobody else to hear.

Even then it seemed weird.

  • This was DP/MIS/IS/IP - data processing. IBM S370-140 in back - with card reader. Those jobs paid WAY more than most patronage jobs - the politicos were drooling over them. The old boy kept the politics out of the shop - quite a trick. I didn’t mind the “Mr.”.
6

Thank goodness, I thought I had completely missed the existence of a phrase.

7

they still use it in Harry Potter so I assume Britain is still like that today

8

That would be incorrect. I had to use the formal second-person pronoun with some people (in Wales where they have one), but always the first name once we had been introduced.

9

I did go to a job interview (here, in England) a couple of years back, where I was informed in no uncertain terms that if I got the job, I would be expected to refer to the manager as Mr. Surname for at least the first few years.

That’s the only time since school I’ve come across that expectation from anyone under the age of around 75, and it’s pretty rare for those over that age. The rest of the time, it’s pretty much first name as soon as you’ve met them. Maybe in a formal situation, or when trying to be exceedingly polite you’d use Mr. Surname, but it’s practically obsolete here too.

10

I tried, until my son was about three to go the “Mr” and “Mrs” route, but it was a losing battle. Even my parents friends introduced themselves to my son by their first names. Nobody is Mr or Mrs to him, at age 10, except his teachers.

I, on the other hand, still call my parent’s friends “Mr. and Mrs…” I also tend to call the Physicians i work with Doctor, when mot of my colleuge nurses call them by their first names. I don’t think respect is wrong, and until someone asks me to call them something less formal, I will call people with a title by that title.