Too much to effectively summarize, but while some of them may seem silly at the surface, most indeed do have some meaning - if the relevancy has been lost over time.
It probably arose sometime in English speaking countries sometme in the 12th-14 century. In small villages only one name was needed e.g. “see john down the road”. If there were two johns it might be “see john the butcher”. As families tended to pass their occupations down from father to son and as villages became bigger the “the” was dropped e.g “see John Butcher” or perhaps “Butcher John”. Other names arose due to colouration e.g. Eric the Red or position “John near the Hill” or some other factor
I was actually thinking about colors as surnames the other day. In English we have Black, White, Brown, Gray … and Green. (Also Gold and Silver, but those seem likely to refer to the metals). German has Blau, but English doesn’t do Blue. We also don’t do Yellow, Red, Purple, or Orange.
I knew I guy whose family name was Blue. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that “Orange” is also used as a family name – especially with the history of the Dutch House of Orange.
My ancestors didn’t have any say in what their last names were going to be. You know, being slaves and all. Really makes things difficult when trying to do genealogy research!
Even though you wouldn’t guess it to look at me this applies to me as well. My direct patrilineal ancestor (I’m uncertain how far back) had his (and mine) last name hung on him because of his African hair. And it’s stuck even since.
My last name is Green and it was shortened, IIRC, from Greenspoon. I have no idea how that name would have originated. The family was from Russia/Ukraine.
And of course, you can still choose your last name, no one will stop you as long as you aren’t using your new name for fradulent purposes. You can even go to the courthouse and get your name changed legally although this isn’t required.
Families got last names at different times for different reasons, there are still countries like Indonesia where people don’t have last names. My last name “Shannon” comes from a region of Ireland. Lots of people have this form of name, especially immigrants with unpronouncable eastern european names. My mother-in-law’s family had their name changed to “Lippski” at Ellis Island, since they were from the town of Lipps in Poland.
Place names, occupation names, and descriptive names are the traditional english last names, and lots of people have non-english last names that are places, occupations or descriptions, if only they knew it.
Apparently, according to a recent thread, family names in certain countries (Denmark?) convey a certain status and cache, so you can be prevented from changing your family name.
You forgot patronymics, which I believe is the most common – Jones, Johnson, Jameson, Adkins, Hodgson, Walters, Phillips, Peterson, Davis, etc.