[QUOTE=fisha]
L’il Pluck. No, I’m not a homophobe. I’m not even rabid.
Trying to articulate this is difficult, bear with me. We, as humans, are designed to be a certain way. We are supposed to not kill each other, not kill ourselves, protect children, and be predominantly heterosexual. This list is not all inclusive, but you get the idea.
When we, or others around us, go against these things, it makes us uncomfortable, and it feels wrong. Are there certain situations when it is completely appropriate? Absolutely. Are there situations where you can inured to it? Sure. Can we learn to be accepting and tolerant? Yes, and yes.
All of us are on a spectrum-some may kill unprovoked, some would never kill under any circumstances. Some would kill themselves at the slightest disappointment, some would never contemplate it. Children can be looked upon with love, derision, hatred, even lust. Homosexuality can be environmentally induced, mildly dabbled with, or intrinsically part of one’s makeup.
But to me, it is more than just personal preference. More than the kind of music you like, or if you just love Greek food. Otherwise, why would people choose to do it, when quite a bit of society is homophobic? The family friend, whom my children love to play with, whom I’ve taught to waterski, taught to wakeboard, stays at my house and uses it for his cabin when we are out of town, has had a really tough time with his family accepting him through the years. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I have a nephew who I am pretty sure is gay. At 20, he might not be sure, but I think it’s a pretty good possibility. Will I welcome him and his future SO, male or female, with open arms? You bet. But I still think it is wrong at some level.
And the reason why I said the “tolerant crap,” is I cannot believe that I am the only person on the 'Dope who feels this way. Maybe the only one to post…
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Well, yes, I reckon that, speaking purely objectively, your position *would * be difficult to articulate. Especially because you don’t seem to occupy either of the extreme ends of the homophobia continuum.
And I assure you that I mean no offense by that. I believe that homophobia, just like racism and other ism’s, is, for the most part, a continuum. IOW, some people are less phobic (or -ist), and others are moreso.
IANAScientist, but I do grok the idea (wow, my first time ever using the word “grok”–damn SDMB!) of a biological imperative. I also grok, however, the idea of biological diversity. Human beings are, in very fundamental ways, all quite alike. Yet, in some other very fundamental ways, we operate under vastly different sets of biological imperatives. For some of us, those differences are merely…well, differences, no judgments required. And for others, some of those differences are anomalous in a “wrong” way.
Hmmm…I’m trying to make myself clear (within the context of your argument), but I’m not sure at the moment how to do that. Yeah…brain fart.
I guess what I don’t understand about what you’re saying is this: You seem, ultimately, to acknowledge that homosexuality has biological underpinnings (though you also seemed to suggest earlier in your post that it has an environmental and/or agency influence, but I won’t deal with that right now), that it’s an intrinsic part of someone’s make-up. Well, if that’s the case (and nobody gets hurt, consenting-and-fully-able-to-consent partners, blah-blah-blah), then why the judgment? Why does different/anomalous=wrong in the way that (for instance) murder=wrong?
I understand that some aspect(s) of homosexuality make you uncomfortable. (I’m guessing that it’s mostly the knocking boots aspect–specifically, the male-on-male action, since you strike me as being male–that squicks you out.) But the thing is this: As much as some things that other people might do make me uncomfortable, I can’t easily (though it depends on the situation, right?) make the leap from “what this person is or does makes me uncomfortable” to “what this person is or does is wrong.”
Now, if that’s what you’re doing, then…well, there’s nothing that I can do about that. If, however, that’s not the picture that you intend for us to get WRT your feelings about homosexuality, then maybe this is all simply a matter of poor word choice.
But, you know, I don’t know.
Incidentally, I must say this: I understand your argument “why would someone, given the societal disapproval (and outright hatred in many quarters), choose to be gay?” and, on some level, that makes sense to me. However, I regard my being gay the same as I do my being Black. I am what I am, and as unsavory as these things have occasionally made life for me (though I’m not the problem–**everyone else ** is), I can’t imagine that I’d become white and heterosexual if I could. I haven’t had the best life (nor the most difficult one, either), but, overall, it’s been okay. And it’s certainly been interesting.
Would I feel differently if I lived, say, a hundred years ago (I was born in 1970, BTW), and I were back home in South Carolina and had to deal with Jim Crow, the daily fear of being lynched, and waaaaaay less enlightened attitudes than exist today about homosexuality? I honestly don’t know, and I’m glad I don’t have to find out.
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