When did you lose the misconception that stupid little kids were the ones that existed?

[AHunter3]

@Trisha_Gaurav

No, the misconception that for the past 5 years, only morons were being born.

Sorry, I don’t understand what you are saying “no” to.

I myself had no such misconception. Are you saying I’m wrong and that yes I did?

Are you saying “no” because you thought I misunderstood what you were saying? Are you not able to see that my reply is saying “no” to YOUR assertion that the phrase “A five year old knows better” somehow means only morons have been born within the last 5 years? I am saying it sure as hell doesn’t mean that to ME.

Like many other people on this thread, I’m amazed that you would think in those terms since you have been a five year old and presumably know fully well that you were not a moron.

[IvoryTowerDenizen]

@Trisha_Gaurav

Expressions like “A 5-year-old knows better” lead you to believe that for the past 5 years, only morons were being born.

That’s not what that means. It means that by age 5 (or whatever) you have learned whatever a 5 year old is supposed to know, so act like it.

[August_West]

Since I was once a child, and I was not a moron, I’ve never had the idea that children are morons.

[Nava]

@Princhester

To provide the tiniest modicum of highly qualified support for the OP, my experience is that many people (particularly IME young single adults) find little kids a trial and can be quite unforgiving of unruly or upset kids in public.

Their views tend to change if/when they have more to do with children in a sympathetic situation. In particular, when one’s brothers/sisters/friends start having children - and even more so if/when you have your own children - you discover it ain’t easy and that even children of your own family can be quite the handful.

I’ve been a caretaker since I was old enough to follow instructions more complicated than “no!” Experience tells me that the people who are more likely to have no idea what children are like are those who were on the younger side of their peer cohort (family, neighbors); that is, those who didn’t grow up playing shepherd to a bunch of younger kids. I remember a few of my sheep being pretty goaty, but not a single stupid one.

And I agree that “a 5yo knows better” means that the person being addressed is acting less maturely than the average 5yo, not that 5yos are morons.

[Nava]

@Spice_Weasel

Very young children, much like cats, simply cannot be disciplined. They don’t have the mental capacity to relate their behavior with any sort of punishment that follows, thus the parental ‘‘meanness’’ is confusing and arbitrary. At worst, it fucks with their trust in their caretaker. The best strategy is distraction, or making some other behavior more desirable.

People who don’t spend a lot of time around children don’t understand this, and blame the parents or declare the children to be ‘‘badly behaved.’’ I’m sure many parents also don’t understand this. Hell, I didn’t even know it until I read it in an article given to me by my adoption caseworker. It’s just a hard age for controlling behavior.

Which age? You don’t mention it, and “very young children” means different things to different people. 2mo, 2yo, 5yo? Different ages need different types of discipline, but “don’t give speeches to a toddler” doesn’t equal “a sharp ‘no!’ and taking away the thing they should not touch will not work with toddlers”. For a 2mo yeah, there is no point even on the “no”, all it will do is scare them.

[Yllaria]

@Trisha_Gaurav

No, the misconception that for the past 5 years, only morons were being born.

Another nope. That phrase means that the person being addressed (who is significantly older than 5) is not meeting the standards of typical 5 year old behavior. This implies that there is a standard for 5 year old behavior, also that there are standards for 1 year, 2 years, and so on. Only the person being addressed is being marked as deficient. Usually the phrase also implies that the person being addressed is behaving badly temporarily, and that they are capable of better behavior.

It’s similar to the phrase “act your age”, which, sadly, is often used when children are acting their age. Both phrases are an attempt to shame. Both phrases imply that other children are normal, but the child being spoken to is deficient.

[astorian]

I never thought most kids were stupid or annoying.

And luckily, none of my adult relatives thought so when I was a kid myself.

[kopek]

@UDS

Well, what she describes is seeing “some anonymous kid [presumably meaning: a kid she doesn’t know] throwing a tantrum” and “another anonymous kid bawling”. We’ve all seen such things now and then, haven’t we? I’d consider both those sights unremarkable.

Ah ---- OK; that makes sense. I have seen such displays although I will say that in my experience I find them quite rare and easy to ignore. But that could just be me.

[Yllaria]

@kopek

Ah ---- OK; that makes sense. I have seen such displays although I will say that in my experience I find them quite rare and easy to ignore. But that could just be me.

Now that my kids are reaching middle age, what I feel when I hear a baby or small child crying is a little flood of relief. Aaaah, it’s not my problem.

[PoppaSan]

@Yllaria

Now that my kids are reaching middle age, what I feel when I hear a baby or small child crying is a little flood of relief. Aaaah, it’s not my problem.

This is typically my first thought also. If the parent is nearby and then apologizes, my answer is usually along the lines of “been there myself.”

And as to an above post, some of my relatives were annoyed by misbehaving toddlers. My grandparents generations remembered seen but not heard but I’m sure didn’t actually live it themselves at the time.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@Trisha_Gaurav

Sorry, typo on my phone. Expressions like “A 5-year-old knows better” lead you to believe that for the past 5 years, only morons were being born.

It’s true! You ever asked a baby that’s just born ANYTHING? They’re dumb as hell, they don’t know shit.

"Hey, newborn. What’s the square root of 100?
"Nope? Okay, let’s go easier. 3x3?
"Okay, 1+1?
"Who’s the president?
"What day is today?
“Christ, kid. How many fingers am I holding up?”

THEY CAN’T ANSWER ANY OF THEM RIGHT! It’s pathetic. Morons, every one a them!