I petted my friend’s gorgeous chocolate point Siamese, ultra smoochie kitten.
Until my usually mild cat hair allergy flipped out and I started oozing lumps of goo from my inflamed, swollen and mega itchy right eye.
My friend didn’t have anything that would help so I decided to get home where there is a bottle of eye drops and my antihistamine meds.
Halfway down the winding hill road, in my new car, with one eye gummed almost completely shut, the other eye begins to itch …
We’re down the hill and in one of the somewhat dodgier areas of town by the time my lungs start to shrink. I’m not leaving my new car here though. It may be second hand and slightly last century, but half an hour in this street will make it history.
Fairly confident with the road, not quite so confident with the car. I still have distance perception, only a little blurred. I feel sneezes crowding into my sinuses, many many sneezes, and think longingly of the sinus spray less than two kilometres away. I think the kid’s unused inhaler might be languishing at the back of the medicine cabinet. It’s only five years out of date, it *could *help.
We take the long way home so I only cross traffic on controlled intersections. The sneezes arrive and I cannot breathe, but I recognise the vague shape and colour of my neighbour’s car and swing into my driveway with the kid’s cry of “Ten points!” indicating that I have narrowly missed a pavement cyclist.
Gasping for air and weeping solid lumps of ick from both eyes, I retire to the bathroom, medications and a fur-removing shower. The car has miraculously avoided any solid objects but is staying in the driveway because I cannot see the garage door.
Two days later, people still ask if I’m upset because I look like I’ve been crying.
Who knew that kittens could kill?
Share your stories of near misses you wouldn’t want mentioned in the obituary.