I know what I am going to get my daughter for her birthday. Whenever I finally get one, anyway!
I’m not sure what they call it, but you know how people have metal shapes put under their skin. And some people have plates connected to their skulls? Plates that they can screw little spikes and things into?
Well, I am going to buy a very pretty horse. Maybe even dye it purple and pink or something. Then I am going to have one of those plates implanted onto his skull. This plate will only have one big screw hole though. And into this hole, I will screw in his horn. Or horns, since I think Ill have a bunch of different kinds to screw in. And then my daughter will be the only kid on the block with a freakin unicorn!
I won’t get this unicorn until after I’ve obtained my pirate ship and my Flying Fox fruit bat. But I’ve officially added it to my list of things I want. Errr… I mean I want for my daughter. I’m not into unicorns. But if I don’t get a daughter soon… I will get one for my neice - whether she wants one or not!
Don’t do that – read up on how this has been done by horn-grafting by Dr. Dove about 75 years ago. Look up Willy Ley’s essay on the Unicorn in his books, or look up how the Church of All Worlds did this about 25 years ago (look them up on-line). Better than screwing something onto a horse’s head.
When you’re done with the unicorn do you think you could whip up a pint-sized dragon for me? Take one of those lizards that run on their hind legs and flare out their hood, graft on some batwings and install a miniature flamethrower. I’d have him sit on my shoulder and light my cigarettes for me. I’d also let him have a go at the SDMB hamsters and see if we can’t get these creaky boards moving a bit faster.
Santa didn’t give one to me for Christmas (I’m assuming lizards are scarce at the North Pole and it’d just burn up the other presents anyway), but I’ve been a really good doper this year. I mean, as long as your creating mythical creatures and all. Please, Santa Nenno?