When is it okay to speak badly about the Dead?

Great Debates
41

From what I’ve seen from conservatives; If they are Black and were murdered by someone the state granted the discretion to use lethal force or someone that has usurped that grant.

The conservative that announced that they were going to hunt down everyone on social media that said anything denigrating Charlie Kirk was also the conservative that made a tweet celebrating the fourth anniversary of George Floyd’s murder.

42

A friend of mine used to be a funeral director. She would occasionally regale us with tales of horrendous speeches given at funerals, generally by children of the deceased.

43

One statement I found to be problematic is “I don’t care if he died.”

I understand that 150,000 human beings on the Earth die every single day, and as a practical matter we can only get emotional about a small subset of human beings in our “in group” Otherwise we’d constantly be in curled up in the fetal position sobbing our eyes out. But if you don’t care, why’d you feel the need to announce that you didn’t care instead of just being silent? Seems a bit inconsiderate to say that, even if it’s technically true and technically defensible.

45

Because you’re surrounded by other people who didn’t know the person who nevertheless feel the need to announce how much they care and how great the dead person was, and appear to be expecting you to join in?

Or because you’re joining a partly theoretical discussion on a message board.

46

Not as bad as putting a truly awful dead person on a pedestal, but over-eulogizing an ordinary individual is also problematic.

Relatives of a victim (of accident, disease or crime) understandably want to create as positive an image of the deceased as possible, but “only the good die young” is a gross exaggeration.

I never thought much of the Dead either. Must be a live concert thing.

47

I didn’t read the whole thread, but there have been some obituaries that told the truth about the person (and not in a good way) and I’ve personally seen some where it wasn’t hard to read between the lines.

48

I’m just going to say this clearly, soberly* and steadily*:

It is NEVER OK to speak ill of the Grateful Dead.

  • ok, both those words might not be true.
49
  • Do not peak ill of the Dead before the funeral. Dental care can be expensive, after all.
  • Speak as you please afterward.
  • Only speak ill of the Dead during a funeral, if you are invited to give a Eulogy.