“Then you should be in Mexico by now”
Sounds like he told her that she shouldn’t stop after she started talking, too. 
You must have been tempted to offer to help her back down via a sound kick to the rear.
I recently sold my house and moved into an apartment while my new house is being built. We moved on Saturday and stocked the new refrigerator on Sunday. Sunday night, I opened the freezer to find a puddle at the bottom of it. I put in my trusty probe thermometer and let it sit for a few minutes, then took a look. 35 degrees (f). Not good. I let the apartment maintenance know it wasn’t working correctly. The next day I had the following exchange with the apartment manager:
Her: I had our maintenance man check, and it’s reading 35.
Me: Yep.
Her: I checked around and asked some folks and they say 35 sounds about right.
Me: Uh, that’s not even freezing.
Her: No, it should be fine.
Me: The USDA recommends somewhere below 20 degrees, I think.
Her: I think 35 is correct.
Me: If I had ice, which I don’t because the ice maker isn’t working, it wouldn’t stay frozen if the freezer was 35 degrees.
Her: <silence>
Me: Seriously. Check around again. 35 degrees is not an acceptable temp for a freezer.
Her: Now that I think about it, you’re right.
35 sounds about right for the fridge. I think she was just confused.
You strike me as being the kind of person that is really hard on stupid, irresponsible college kids.
To be fair, some of it’s made up in tourist taxes, which residents rarely pay - hotel taxes, etc.
I don’t think that was ever in doubt.
Amen. There’s a very good reason I no longer work at that law firm.
Customer: This sage green paint doesn’t look green on my walls. It looks more blue or something when I test it.
Paint Store Guy (PSG): Good thing you tested it. What color are your walls?
Customer: Yellow cream or something like that
PSG: Well, this sage green over your yellow cream could change the final color. That’s not surprising. To match the color sample, you should prime the walls with a good, quality white primer first.
Customer: But I just want to paint.
PSG: Right, but then you won’t have any solid idea of the final color from the sample, because the samples are done on white backgrounds.
Customer: Do you have any paint that doesn’t need a primer?
PSG: Well, most don’t require a primer, unless the walls are bare, but to get as close to the sample color, you should use a primer. Obviously, the green over yellow is making blue. Green and yellow sometimes make a funky green color, but with paints, the combinations are endless. Look, right here it recommends a ‘high hiding latex-based primer’.
Customer: This is ridiculous. Can’t you just add more green so that it comes out green over the yellow?
PSG: No, because the final color over your yellow can’t be guaranteed.
Customer: This is crazy. I am going to Sherwin-Williams.
(The customer had ONE gallon of paint. He was going to spend more time driving and hunting for some ‘easy’ solution than it would take to throw down a coat of primer.)
HeyHomie and Mrs. Homie move from Missouri (where Mrs. Homie’s family) lives, to my home town of Springfield, Illinois (better job market).
Every Conversation Mr. & Mrs. Homie Have Had With Mrs. Homie’s Father
FIL: So how are things in Chicago?
US: We don’t live in Chicago, we live in Springfield. Chicago is 200 miles away.
No, believe it or not, some states actually SPEND less. NH, for instance, has no state income tax AND no sales tax.
Overheard while camping in a California state park:
Girl Scout #1 I wonder if this is poison ivy.
Girl Scout #2 Don’t be stupid. Why would they have poison ivy here?
I wanted to rip off all their merit badges.
Ask him if he thinks Shakespeare was in on it.
Cite:
Visa does debit cards. The money is taken directly from an associated bank account (it’s like insta-auto-payment), there’s no credit line, no interest (if you don’t have the money, the transaction just doesn’t go through)… Visa offers a guarantee to both parties in exchange for the % it charges the merchant and the fees (if any) it charges the individual.
In most places the brand name is Visa electron, but not always.
There are some obtuse teachers as well. I used to work at the local state community college, which a lot of folks went to for two years to save money, and then went another two years to a 4 year school to get a bachelor’s degree.
Anyway, I’m in a food line one day, and I hear one student say to another, “You should take the ‘Preparing for College Success’ course – it’s designed to help you transfer to a four year program. I really love it because there are no deadlines. As long as I get stuff turned in by the end of the semester, there’s no penalty.”
Yup, that’s how they prepared students for the 4 year schools. :rolleyes:
Ok, confession time. I am the asshole that does this. But, let me explain.
If a customer is calling for a listing, viva; they are usually pretty sure that the place exists. If the phone rep can’t find it, they escalate you to a super. I know the reps are envisioning the supers hanging up in the customer’s faces, and it may be satisfying for the rep to picture that. But the truth is, the super is usually pretty good at finding the listing, and they go ahead and patch you through.
You do know that we don’t have poison ivy here, right? Poison oak, now, that’s a different story. My boy scout is aware of the differences, even without ever seeing the ivy variation.
Here’s your sign. . .
Wanna be governor?
I went to the supermarket tonight after work. Rice? Check. Lemons? Check. Shallots? Check. Cheese? Check. Pancietta? Let’s go over to the deli counter.
It took me a while to get the clerk’s attention, as he was busy talking to another clerk. I guess he wasn’t really in the mood to work today. Eh, customers, no customers, whatever.
I finally got his attention. I asked if he had pancietta. Yep, sure thing. He went to the fridge and came back with something wrapped up. He started to describe how good it was, and was showing it to me. “Um, that’s cheese”, I said. “Pancietta is meat.”
So he consulted his fellow clerk and between the two of them and came up with a lof of bacony goodness. “How thin do you want it sliced?” he asked. “As thick as you can go, like a quarter inch”, I said. He gave me that look that said he got it, that he was going to take care of my needs. Soon I was to be in risotto heaven.
He cut one slice and showed it to me. “How’s that?” It was pretty thin, like a slice of deli ham. “Can you go even thicker?” He adjusted the slicer. “Is this better?” “No. THICK. Like this.” I held my thumb and finger about a quarter inch apart. Ah. Knowing smile.
He adjusted the slicer again, and made another slice. “How’s this?” It was paper thin. “NOOOO! THICK!” I now showed him my fingers several inches apart. “I want it this thick.” He tried again. His next slice I could actually see daylight through.
After banging my head on the counter a few times, I held my arms about four feet apart. “THICK! BIGGER! THIS. BIG!” Oh! It dawned on him. I’d finally gotten through. His next slice was actually invisible. I think it actually had a negative weight.
“THIIIIIIIIIIICK!” He finally got it. He managed about an eighth of an inch. I went with it.
Ladies, if you even manage to have sex with this guy, here’s a hint: Don’t ask him to go deeper.