Quite often, people who have a vice or addiction will grossly understate how much they are doing it. Alcoholics may say they’ve had a few beers, when really it was a 24-pack. Gamblers will say they just lost a few hundred, when really it was thousands. It’s the same with all kinds of things like food, smoking, gaming, internet, hoarding, etc. It seems the worse the problem is, the more the person understates how bad off the problem is. Is the person actually lying, where they know the true value and are being knowingly deceptive, or are they actually unaware of the true value because they have deceived themselves? Does an alcoholic truly believe he only had 3 beers rather than the 24 you saw him drink?
It seems this could be answered in a scientific way through an MRI or something like it. Scan the person’s brain and see if it looks like a lie or truth in their brain.
I’ve dealt with alcoholics who never admitted they had a problem. When questioned about where the vodka was going, they’d blame it on other people in the house, the dog knocked it over, it evaporated, etc. Anecdotally, I would say they seemed to believe what they were saying, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. I’m wondering if they were lying to me or to themselves.
Both, to you and to themselves. Lying to cover up an addiction is part of the addiction. People want to keep their jobs and family situations going on as long as possible without interruption so they can continue their addictive behaviors. Being honest with others and themselves is counter productive to this goal. The addiction wants to live.
When people tell blatantly stupid and unbelievable stories to you, the problem is not that they are trying to fool you - the main problem lies elsewhere. Clever lies, OTOH, are only meant to fool you.
I think mostly they know the truth but don’t want to admit it to you. That may be justified if it’s none of your business. There are people who just won’t admit to any faults though, even glaringly obvious ones.
Could be both or neither. Sometimes people aren’t fully aware how much they consume.
I don’t drink, but I AM overweight. I sometimes grossly underestimate how much I’ve eaten. If you ask me at the end of a party how much junk I ate, I’d probably tell you l ate far less than I did- mainly because I eat reflexively and without thinking.
A drinker may do the same. He may honestly “remember” having a few beers when he really polished off a six pack.
Sometimes these things are self-fulfilling. My doctor asks how many units of alcohol I drink a week; I take a few off on the grounds that he will assume I did anyway.
I agree with your overall point about unconscious consumption being part of the lie to themselves and then to others.
But I have to ask you: “how many does ‘a few of <whatever>’ mean to you?”
To me 6 of anything is a few. 6 peanuts is a few peanuts. 6 cars is a few cars. 6 people is a few people. So 6 beers really is a few beers.
Now when somebody says they had “a few beers” and the true total is 12 or 24 that’s a problem with their definition of “a few”, or with their counting.
Some day I plan to post a long rant in the Pit about this.
I have stopped believing anything most people say, without objective evidence.
I believe my wife pretty completely and some family members.
This doesn’t alter how I treat people, I seldom have to change anything because of this.
But a large percentage of the population routinely lies. Many times for no good reason, but mostly to make themselves or their actions look better. I don’t really judge people for it because it is so common.