Ok I’m 46, when I address an older gentlemen I usually say sir, if I do not know his proper name. I have 27 people working at my catering business, everyone from traveling chefs to waitstaff to bartenders with a good mix of a few lead waitstaff and chefs. We just hired a kid who is 21, and always calls me sir when he addresses me. I didn’t mind the first few times he did it, but he has been with us 2 months and still calls me sir.
I think to myself, * I was raised saying sir to older gentlemen, but I think it got less and less over the years. Why do I care if this kid is calling me sir?*
I just want to know what other people think about addressing older guys as sir. Is there an age where you have stopped? I have seen my father (73) call my son sir, and my son’s only 13 - granted he was probably joking but, hey!
It has gotten less frequent, but I was raised to call people sir or ma’am depending on the situation.
Just met and they are significantly older: use it
In a subordinate position? Use it until they say otherwise
Serving strangers (Coffee house, bar, fast food, grocery store, etc…) Use it until they are regulars and you have something better to call them
Meeting someone the same age or position: probably wouldn’t use it.
I still use it. I think I will stop at 60. I think before 60 you are too young to pretend to be old, but at 60 you should get to call everyone “son” or “kid”. At 70 you should get to call everyone whatever you damn well please.
My husband is 46. He uses “sir” with any adult whose name he doesn’t know, or with anyone older unless he’s instructed otherwise. I think it’s a nice, respectful form of address. The world could use a little more respect.
I use “Sir” with dang near every male, almost all of the time…unles I’ve determined that they aren’t entitled to any modicum of respect. I used to call my step-son “Sir” (as in "Yes, Sir, you need to go to bed). I don’t think that just because a guy might be younger than yourself, he doesn’t deserve respect…if I don’t know 'im, he’s worthy of a sir. But that might be my Southern rearing and Texas experience talking.
Ah, I call dang near all females, “Ma’am” unless they are my ex-wife.
I call pretty much every unknown male “sir”. And I also call just about every unknown female “ma’am.” I mean, if it looks like they’re someone I should be according a certain level of respect (anonymous professional relationship or some such). I wouldn’t stop using it just 'cause I got old. 'Course, I’m 19, so I’ve got a while to go, yet.
Guys live past 46?? Dang, I better start taking better care of myself!
When addressing someone older, “Sir” is always appropriate.
When addressing someone younger, “Listen you booger-nosed ignorant pimply faced punk” is also appropriate. I don’t care if I live to be 120. If you’re 110, you’re going to be a “booger-nosed puck” to me! Well, that’s my plan anyway.
When I’m at work, I call all male customers over the age of about sixteen Sir. I try to avoid using a noun of address toward women to avoid the whole miss/ma’am issue. If I know the person’s first name, and know I have permission to use it, I do of course.
In non-work life, when I call someone “sir” or “ma’am” (usually “miss” regardless of age) it’s most often because I’m being angrily and/or sarcastically overpolite. Either that, or they’re quite elderly, or a police officer.
I don’t know if there are any hard-and-fast rules in this day and age for when to use Sir and when not to.
– Dragonblink, 22 years old and not used to being called “ma’am” yet
I still call older men “sir”, although they are getting fewer and farther apart.
I have sometimes called a younger woman “ma’am” trying to show respect. Most often they either get flustered or in a few cases insulted (but that’s their problem).
Because I was raised by a man who had throughly 19th Century ideas of decorum I tend to call everybody but close friends “Sir” or “Ma’am.” It just feels comfortable. Also, with the right body language and vocal inflection you can active a definite note of menace or contempt–as in, “No, sir, I would never try to get smart with this court.”
Sir and ma’am were deeply ingrained as proper. Even to this day, living in another country, older people (even if only a few years) get called sir and ma’am.
I too tend to call every unknown and many known males “Sir”. If I’m in a game store and need to get past a 9-year old kid looking at games, I’ll say, “Excuse me, sir.” In fact, I especially like calling younger kids “sir” and “ma’am” because they’re totally unprepared for it.
I don’t have a hard and fast rule, but I’ll use Sir or Ma’am with anyone I respect. I tend to use them to add a friendly touch when closing a business or businesslike conversation, as in “Well sir, I thank you for you help.”
I’ll use “sir” and ma’am like “vous” in French, pretty well any adult (especially older, and in more formal situations) gets’ the treatment until he/she gives permission for another form of address.
In the case of an army officer who’s the father of my date, they’ll probably get a few more “sirs” after asking to “just call me Bob.”
Several years ago I settled on calling my college students “sir” and “ma’am”. E.g., a student comes to my office/raises their hand “Yes ma’am, what can I do for you?” I found that it created a really good “professional” atmosphere. I.e., I showed respect to the students and therefore expected a lot of respect in return.
I work as a cashier in a fairly up-scale resturant, and I’ve found that you got to be careful when addressing customers using “sir” or “ma’am” or “miss”.
I avoid using anything of the sort when I can’t tell the prefered gender of the person. Maybe I just notice it more than most people, or see it more in Southern California but a fair number of people could go either way. While most of my friends find this more amusing than insulting, I do my best to try not to insult customers so I just don’t add anything.
We have a lovely m2f transsexual, and I make a point of using “ma’am” to her, as my transsexual friends say that they are encouraged when they are refered to as their chosen gender.
I’ve never had a male customer under the age of 18, so I say “sir” to all males unless they are a regular and then I usually refer to them by name.
I’ve found that some women under the age of 40 or so will be insulted if you use “ma’am” to them. Because of this, I only use it on older women (50s and above).
I wish that there was just a general thing that you could add to people’s name that wouldn’t specify gender or age.
