Very classy, Six.
And if you want coasters, just ride Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, the Matterhorn, and the new California Adventure coaster, California Screamin’, as often as your stomach can take it. 
Esprix
David Koenig had a brief bit about a conversation with Walter Koenig (briefly) over at MousePlanet (disclaimer: I am affiliated with MousePlanet) a couple of months ago. He had to clarify this; he is not related to Walter.
As for the Virginia theme park. I would suggest reading the appropriate chapter in Eisner’s autobiography A Work in Progress. He lays out some of the reasons why he thinks it fails and takes much of the burden on himself (he thinks that Disney’s America was, from the perspective of PR, a horrible naming decision).
Ulysses S Grant would not have had to shave. Lincoln appears in Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln at his most hersute); several pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean have facial hair; and at least one of the Haunted Mansion’s Hitchhiking Ghosts has a beard.
I’m not sure, but I believe that the union contract for audio-animatronic and holographic figures includes an exception to the grooming rules (let’s not even discuss the excess hair on Chip and Dale).
I worked plain clothes security at an amusement park for four gruelling years to pump the bucks for first round of grad school. Mostly nailed shoplifters–under the munificant laws governing migrant workers (seasonal employees!), during broiling midwestern summers. Such fun–16 hour days, shin splints, heat prostration, etc. Sartre was fulla beans; Hell is a theme park.
The face characters (“Live Shows”) were protected through a performers union–and NEEDED it. Shorts-clad tourists don’t realize that those cuddly plush suits are ovens. The face characters wore layers of cotton to absorb the sweat. If they throw up inside the suit…well, the show must go on. (You can imagine what those suckers smell like inside.)
All in all, I was madly impressed by how much FUN the performers made under perfectly wretched conditions. Nearly blind, nearly heat-prostrated but they still performed.
FWIW, on my sole, never-to-be repeated trip to Disney World my sweet, sentimental sister wanted a pic of me with Dopey. (Don’t ask.) At the very end of the gig “Dopey” cooperatively glommed on, oversize plush head snuggled neatly into my ::ahem!:: upper torso. During the pose I whispered, "This is all strictly platonic, right?’…and got the dirtiest, perfect chuckle in response. Followed by a friendly pat on the rear from foot-wide gloved hand.
Whover was inside that suit was one helluva funny, witty sucker.
Veb
And the award, for first person to make me honestly LOL today, goes to…
I read about that. Horrifying. Imagine those poor kids seeing Cookie Monster get shit kicked out of him. Talk about childhood trauma.
My mom was a costumed character for about two years. She was Louie the Lightning Bug, the mascot for the utility that was then called Detroit Edison. During that time, she did appearances at schools, festivals, company picnics, and fairs. I often served as her “civilian escort,” and believe you me, she needed one. Little kids step on feet, hit and poke (usually accidentally, but I was often surprised at the viciousness of 5-year-old boys), and often slip under the performer’s radar. The range of sight from inside a rubberhead is extremely limited and it’s not difficult for a toddler to get accidentally bumped.
Older kids, teens, and adults were the biggest threat, though. You can’t believe how many people think it’s the height of humor to kick the crap out of the poor sap in the costume. I vividly remember returning from a bathroom run to find mom in the middle of a ring of teenage boys who were pushing her back and forth. If she’d shoved back, the jerks would have had grounds for a suit against DE, so she was pretty much helpless. Needless to say, I got security toot sweet and broke it up. From then on, we coordinated my bathroom breaks and her hydrating breaks.
You know, I’m pretty glad that she quit the Louie gig…
It reminds me of Mallrats, where J and Silent Bob kick seven shades out of the Easter Bunny.
he he he.
I went to high school with a girl who swears that while on her band trip to Disneyworld, she was on some kind of backstage tour, and saw Mickey Mouse smoking a cigarette through his costume. Talk about tramatizing…
And when I was in the 8th grade, Bugs Bunny felt me up at Six Flags over Georgia. I still laugh at that one.
Several years back a friend of mine held his wedding at the Disneyland Hotel in CA. After the wedding and reception, he and his bride (along with a couple of us friends) went into the Magic Kingdom. No one has mentioned yet in this thread that costumes other than the employed characters are not allowed in the park. As soon as they stepped off the escalator steps leading down from the monorail entering the Magic Kingdom, they were stopped by security personel. After a couple of minutes explaining their wedding and the supposed “permission” they’d arranged to keep their wedding outfits on, and some walkie-talkie communication by the security people (with their supervisors, I assume), they were finally allowed in, he in his tuxedo and top hat, and she in her wedding gown; but she had to remove the train from her wedding dress before they would allow them in.
Day was uneventful after that (I took some pictures etc.), until that night, when the two of them dined (as a Wedding present from a friend of theirs whose father had a corporate account with Disney) in Club 33, the members-only club off limits to the general public. I know this last bit probably belongs in a different post someplace, but I can’t help throwing it in. By the way, by asking nicely, I was allowed to walk upstairs and take a couple of pictures, which is my only personal story about the mysterious Club 33.
Barney got the shit kicked out of him at one the local malls in Fort Worth. Someone got the brilliant Idea to totally redo an old shopping mall right on the borders of two gang territories. Someone else got the bright idea to send barney there.
“If she’d shoved back, the jerks would have had grounds for a suit against DE, so she was pretty much helpless.”
Eh!?!? The last time I looked, self-defense was still a valid defense to a charge of battery in both criminal and civil court.
I’ll have more stories to tell in October after I dine there for my 33rd birthday this year… 
Esprix
You’d think they’d armour those suits after the first couple of incidents like that. Heavy or not, bulky or not, how much does it cost to get the guy a cup and a pair of shin-guards?
I should get my friend Tigger in on this. She was one of those “Disney interns” down in Florida for a while. She probably has stories to tell.
Pete
Take off every .sig for great justice!!
You’d think they’d armour those suits after the first couple of incidents like that. Heavy or not, bulky or not, how much does it cost to get the guy a cup and a pair of shin-guards?
I should get my friend Tigger in on this. She was one of those “Disney interns” down in Florida for a while. She probably has stories to tell.
Pete
Take off every .sig for great justice!!
I know of a message board you may enjoy as long as you can tolerate “Speelling errorres annd misstaikes” and an overabundance of testosterone. Actually, they’re nearly all a bunch of nice guys and meet at SFMM whenever the mood strikes them. Right now, they’re all a little impatient that “X” and “Deja Vu” aren’t open yet.
Also, they have a forum where you can discuss coasters at other parks (Knott’s, Cedar Point, Disney, etc.).
Thanks for the info.
I went to the library, & checked out Koenig’s first book.
Today, I ordered all three of his Disney volumes from Amazon. Too grand!
An NYPD officer came down to a Baltimore Orioles game a couple of years ago and beat up The Bird (our beloved mascot). The Bird came back the next day with his beak in a big bandage. 
Grrrrr… Another reason for Orioles fans to hate New York.
Here’s what Tigger had to say on the subject:
Pete
Take off every .sig for great justice!!
**
Slightly off thread, but a few years ago I read about a kid in Florida who went to see Santa at a mall while wearing some sort of Florida Gators apparel. When the kid sits on Santa’s lap and begins to recite his Christmas list, Santa cuts him off with, “Sorry kid. Santa doesn’t come to Gator fans’ houses.” (Apparently Santa was an FSU fan)
The kid starts crying and goes back to his dad saying, “Santa says he doesn’t come to Gator houses!” Dad (also a Gator fan) goes up and confronts Santa: “What the hell are you doing making my kid cry!” Harsh words are exchanged and then punches. Next thing you know, Santa and dad are duking it out there in the middle of the Christmas Village, rolling around on the floor, knocking over the plastic reindeer. Mall security is called and Santa and dad are led away in cuffs. It seemed Santa had been drinking.
They take their football allegiances pretty seriously there in Florida!