When the do not call list doesn't work

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

About six months ago, some debt collection agency started calling me about every other day thinking I was some guy named “Phillip”. I’m not Phillip, I don’t know any Phiilips, and I told them this but they kept calling. I told them to put my number on the Do Not Call list, and they said OK. But they kept calling. I tried to block them, but they were spoofing their number and it would come up as a different one each time. I could always tell it was them, because the caller ID would show a long distance area code that I didn’t recognize. But, nothing was working with these assholes.

So about three weeks ago I decided I’d had enough and I would start being evil to their phone jockeys. I’m not sure where I got the idea for this particular tactic (it’s not original to me), but I tried it three weeks ago and lo, they haven’t called me since. This is what I did:

ringring
me: 911, what’s your emergency?
them: Ummm.
me: This is 911, what is your emergency?
them: May I speak to Philli-
me: Do you have an emergency, sir?
them: Uh, no, I’m trying to reach Ph-
me: Sir do you realize it is a felony to report a false emergency?
them: I don’t understand.
me: What is your location, sir?
them: …
me: Sir, what is your location?
them: But… I’m not…

I let it go on for a little while like that, and then I just hung up. I couldn’t maintain it any longer because the guy was terrified. Poor guy was shitting bricks, and I was about to crack up, which wouldn’t be in character for the pissed off dispatcher voice I was using. He probably still thinks this number routes to 911. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that it would, but I’ve never credited these guys with an abundance of brains.

They haven’t called me since. :slight_smile:
I’m sure someone will comment that what I did was illegal or some-such, nut I don’t really care. It worked!

2

Obligatory telemarketer torture prank: Funny prank call - YouTube

3

I have a very common last name, and the bottom feeders seem to have a tactic of going down the phone book by last name only, hoping to hit either their target or someone who will admit to being related to them. I can’t imagine why they think this is a useful thing to do with my name, because there are thousands of people listed by it in the city. Until I moved and changed my number, I deleted an average of about two messages a day, even after changing my answering machine message to specifically inform callers that I was not and did not know several of the most common targets.

4

You have to figure the guy who owes the money probably has the same outgoing message.

A ex-coworker of mine, for years was getting collection calls for someone with a same first and last name as her husband (somewhat common name I’m sure). Long story short, she was at a camp site one day, bumped into someone, introduced herself, and found out he also had the same name as her husband. She replied “Are you the Dale Jackson that owes all that money” and he said “No, but I’m gonna beat the shit out of him if I ever find him”

5

I think the OP is brilliant!

6

Bravo! That was great!

“As you well know I’m sure, Mr Mabe was a flaming homosexual. And there is no easy way of asking this, I don’t want to embarrass you or nothing, but were you his gay lover?”