I’m not normal. I’m not psychotic, I’m not depressive, and I’m not socially unskilled, but I assure you–I’m not normal. I spent my growing up years uncomfortably aware of that fact, and my lack of interest in reacting to things “normally” (read: the way most expect me to) continues. I know I tend to distance myself.
But all of a sudden, I’m the Pillar of Strength and Normalcy in my family. My dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s–in addition to a debilitating back injury that has forced him to leave the work he loved years ago, and in addition to numerous skin cancer lesions that have been removed in the last year. Dad is, understandably, depressed.
My mom is taking care of him. Between that and working, she is desperately stressed out and exhausted.
My sister (the one that doesn’t live 2,000 miles away) is a fruitcake. In the past 2 years, she: got divorced after 9 years of marriage, got a boob job, began dating 3 weeks after filing, fell “in love” about 3 times, dated approximately 15-20 men, snuck off to Vegas and married a man she’d been dating 6 weeks…leaving her 6yro son from her first marriage behind and surprising him with a new dad when they returned. In addition, this said new hubby has been in rehab for drug addiction twice in the last 4 months. This said man has had a baby with his ex-wife (who he got pregnant just before dating my sister), and his ex-wife HATES my sister and refuses to let him see the baby if SHE’S around. My sister’s brilliant solution? GET PREGNANT! That will make it ALL better. That aside, she miscarried two weeks ago. (I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, no matter how I felt about the pregnancy–it devastated her.) Beyond that, she’s beyond a flake now. She was supposed to come to a family BBQ Saturday, and 2 1/2 hours after she was supposed to arrive, she finally called my panicked parents to say whoops, sorry, can’t make it.
In all this, my parents are turning to me (and the hubby), so relieved and comforted that we’re…well…normal. It isn’t a bad thing, and I’m thrilled that we can be there to help them. But there’s just something so upside-down about this.
This is all just fucked up.