"Well, kids, it’s like this.
First of all, I am sure you already know that some children are remarkably sharp, whereas some adults are tail-wagging knuckleheads that you wouldn’t trust with a burned out match. So know that it’s not a reflection on YOU, much less any OTHER kid. It’s an arbitrary legal standard… like the finish line in a race. Where to put the finish line? Wherever the grownups say so. In this case, it’s the age of eighteen.
Y’see, I am also aware that you know that some people don’t really regard you as human. Not so long ago, it was perfectly legal to use brown people for farm equipment, women as sort of baby making Roombas, and it was more or less legal to sell your children to mining companies for use as drilling equipment for the sake of getting me some more money to drink myself stupid in the nearest bar. Assuming you were *my *children, that is; even back then, it was frowned upon to sell OTHER people’s children. Property rights, and all that, you know?
Now, good people, y’know, people like your folks? They thought this was wrong, and they made a big noise about it. And over the years, it became illegal to own or sell people, even if you’d made them in the first place. We got rid of slavery, we quit treating women like livestock, and we stopped using children like little robots that could be fixed with a smack upside the ear hole when they malfunctioned.
We passed laws that said you can’t do this any more.
But black people and women people are still considered competent to look after themselves, despite the best efforts of some guys I could name.
Children are not.
And what’s worse, they aren’t CONSISTENT about it. I’ve known thirteen year olds who were smart, honorable, responsible, and fit to run their own households, and I’ve known twenty year olds who didn’t have the sense to pour sand out of a boot if you told them there were printed directions on the heel.
So when the founding fathers got together and made the laws? They made the magic number EIGHTEEN. That’s it. 18. That’s when you’re a grownup, and when you get to vote. Weirdly enough, you can drive a car at sixteen, or join the army, with your parents permission, but you can’t buy booze till you’re 21, and you can’t run for President until you’re well past thirty. So, yeah, it’s not really *fair *in a lot of cases, and it doesn’t really make sense. But that’s the law, the way they wrote it.
This leads us to* “tried as an adult.”*
Y’see, the basic laws say that if you break a law – ANY law – well, you’re a juvenile, which means you go to juvie court, possibly go to juvie jail, and when you’re 18, they set you free and seal your records, so your childish errors don’t destroy your adult lives.
However, the public takes it badly when a child murders someone and then laughs, “Ha, ha, I’ll go free in a few years, ha, ha.” So the politicians, in order to garner votes, made changes in the law. They don’t HAVE to try you as an adult, but the DA will often try, especially if the crime in question is especially ugly. After all, DAs like to run for office, too, and it doesn’t do to look soft on crime.
And now a word about child porn.
Now, taking a picture of your hoo-honk and posting it online is fairly harmless, especially if it doesn’t have your face in the picture. Hardly anyone is likely to see it. You’re only hurting yourself, most likely. But the fact is, IT IS CHILD PORN. And we have some SERIOUS laws about child porn… and I’ll leave it to your mother to explain why they have these laws; if I told you what I know, you’d have nightmares for a month, and your mother would hunt me down and move my beard to another part of my head. Take my word for it that child porn is serious baaad business.
Now these major laws were intended to punish adult child predators, not you. But remember what I said about DAs? There’s an excellent chance that if you post that picture online, the law will want to come down on you like an adult… and if they try you as an adult, they can. After all, DAs who get lots of convictions look mighty good when they run for mayor, you know? And they aren’t interested in “I made a mistake.” They’re interested in “We find the defendant GUILTY, your honor.”
It’s really much better simply to dodge the issue entirely, and post pictures of cute kitties or suchlike. If you MUST make mistakes resulting in insane legal and social consequences, wait until you’re at least 21. By then you will have made many friends who have made some of these mistakes, and you can see what those mistakes did to THEIR lives, and you will naturally think, “Holy mohonk, there’s no WAY I’m doing that,” and you’ll be the happier for it, and you’ll find entirely DIFFERENT mistakes with which to screw up your life.
I wish I could give you more satisfying answers. Sorry, guys."
