When they outlaw vibrators, only Outlaws will have Vibrators


That’s outside the box… an assault with batteries.

Suddenly, “Hand over the money or I’ll shoot” has a totally different meaning to me.

*Tim: Well, that’s no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit’s got a vicious streak a mile wide! It’s a killer! *

They can have my vibrator when they pry it from my cold, dead…


What did you think I was going to say?

Well, it’d make holding up a store somewhat… difficult.

“Gimme all your money… This is a prick-up!”

All joking aside, you are aware that they are illegal in Texas unless sold as ‘personal massagers’ (cannot look phallic) or ‘teaching aids’ (cannot), right? What a fucking insult.

I thought Molly Ivins once wrote that there was a specific number you could have – up to six (say) made you “a mere fancier”, but beyond that showed that you were a depraved degenerate.

While I would say that while vibrators in Texas do come with a label indicating that they’re for teaching aids or something very similar in wording, the trip I took recently with a female friend when she was shopping for one contradicts the fact that they aren’t phallic.

When I saw the title, I thought this thread was going to be about the Texas law.

“No, I need the big 12” one, so all my students can see."

I’m confused. Did Jex or the cashier get the shaft?

So vibrators are illegal in Texas?

Guess the robbers will have to stick to common or garden guns then

Don’t they need to have bunny ears or be rainbow-colored or something i.e. no John Holmes plaster casts?

I grew up in Texas and I have never heard this. And I’ve been to plenty of out-in-the-open adult entertainment shop that clearly dispute this.

Here’s the entire statute.

But this part cracks me up:

So you can’t use a dildo for please, but a judge can use one in a court of law. Gives new meaning to “Banging your gavel.”

A little gold sticker that states:
“This item is intended for use as a novelty item or a cake decoration.”

I swear, I’m not making this up.

Ah, here is the doc featuring Molly Ivins. Don’t know when it was made (before she died in January, presumably) or how accurate it is, but it’s definitely worth a watch… if only for Ivins’ witty punchline.

A quote from a sex shop owner: ‘We can sell things that look like penises as long as they don’t vibrate, and we can sell things that vibrate as long as they don’t look like penises.’

All the numbers and laws quoted above by other posters seem to check out.

I think I read somewhere that Japanese vibrators were not allowed to be “representative,” and that’s why you’ll find them with little faces (“It’s just a little man wearing a hat, honest!”) or shaped/decorated like other objects.

And yeah, sex toys generally come with labels saying they’re for novelty purposes only.
. . . er, so I’ve heard.

The novelty of mind blowing orgasm, rarely, wears off.