And when you throw up, you don’t get a runny nose, sore throat, or bloodshot eyes or sweaty brow. You just get rid of the stuff, then you wipe your mouth and look just fine.
When you come back from the store, you are invariably carring one paper sack of groceries with a few greens and an obligatory loaf of French bread sticking out of the bag.
You are almost guaranteed to have an island in your kitchen.
When you move from one city to another, the move takes no time at all, and within a day, you know your way around the new city, regardless of its size and complexity.
You have unprotected sex and never get vd or pregnant, unless you live in Lifetime. You don’t, however, get fully nude.
All psychotherapists are psychiatrists.
Your ass/balls/armpits never itch, and you never have boogers.
You never trip over your tongue, or are unable to think of a word.
If you’re a clergyman, you are, if white, an old, gentle, wise, probably Irish Roman Catholic priest. If you’re black, you’re a Baptist and from the South.
You never ever answer a phone with “hello”, especially if you live in Cop Show Land, Medical Show Land, or Legal Show Land; you grunt out your name, instead.
The level of liquid in whatever glass you are drinking from will fluctuate in a manner that has no reference to how much you have drunk. Likewise, the length of ash on your cigarette varies from moment to moment.
If you’re an attorney, you spend all of your time in a courtroom or having terse conversations with your clients/the opposing attorneys; you never do research. Paralegals do not exist in Legal Show Land.
In SitCom Land, whenever you say something funny (and you often do, unless you’re the Straight Man), an unseen crowd bursts into laughter. You never react to them, though. (“Did you hear that? Where the hell did that laughter come from?”)
That’s because nobody in TV Land knows what laughter is. No matter how funny something is, nobody ever laughs at it. The most reaction you’ll ever get from another character is a wry smile or maybe a brief chuckle.
Attorneys also work at warp speed and can be in court the very next day after they get a new case/client.
Cases can be brought to trial, and the trial resolved, before the bruises from the assault have faded.
We always see it sunshiny unless rain is needed. But what about other things in the environment that aren’t in the main plot but are in real life?
You never see a character walk onto a porch or through the woods and run into a spider web.
You never see dappled sunlight on people. Or a bright patch of sun making someone squint.
You never see gnats circling someone, flys hanging around, or bees.
You never see anyone stepping in the water dripping from your car air conditioner.
You never see bits/smears of food on the tables, chairs, or floors, or the inside of cars.
You never see smudges on mirrors or windows.
I’ve seen a few movies/shows finally starting to address vomiting aftermath - people actually rinsing their mouth or brushing their teeth after a nice blow-out, instead of going over and giving someone a nice, deep, sloppy kiss. {insert bleargh smiley}
When you go to the emergency room, you will have to sit in a common areawith a bunch of other sick and hurt people.
Every time I’ve gone (well, it’s only been twice) I got my own private room.
Wow. What hospital do you go to? Even in my small town, you only get a curtain area in the ER. Must be nice.
My only trip as an adult I spent 3 hours dry heaving in the waiting room (there was nothing left - not even the blood that’d been coming up) until they finally stuck me in a private room.
Wow, best of both worlds!
-Joe
I was just recently in our local hospital ER, and until admitted to a room (10 hours later) I was parked on a gurney with other patients (in their own gurneys) in the hallways of the ER, occasionally visited by medical technicians and doctors to take blood samples and the such. Before that I spent some time (1/2 hour) in the waiting room with a few other sick people (and waiting relatives) for admittance to the ER.
I’d call this one… ‘Confirmed’
Sigh, I remember being that young.
Oh. When I was taken by ambulance to my local hospital, they radioed in and got the room number to take me to. I think that only makes sense. The last thing I need in an emergency room is being exposed to a lot of sick people and bodily fluids.
I suspect it depends on the time of day and what you are in for. The last few times I went it was for a-fib. They took me in right away and put me in room until the doc saw me. But I went in during the morning hours which may be slower for them (the placed seemed to fill up as the morning progressed.)
And yet that’s exactly what happens to most people in hospital emergency rooms, for hours and hours and hours. TVLand actually gets that more right than not. And when they show people starting to wave a gun around to try to get some service, that’s based on all of our fantasies. 
Obviously you’ve never watched Dark Shadows.
In TV Land people use each others names in nearly every sentence. Even when they don’t need to.
I was in for a broken wrist at lunchtime. All I can say is kudos to Englewood Hospital!
In TVLand, doctors never dictate anything for EHR or transcriptionists, yet they seem to have plenty of medical reports that are, apparently, producing themselves on their own.
In TVLand, people also stand extremely close to each other, all the time. It looks normal in the context of the shows (and I assume it is to get the shot properly), but look for it next time you turn the tv on - they walk up to each other and start talking about a foot away from each other - they would be far too close in real life.