Where are all the good, cynical books?

I am an avid reader going through 3-7 novels a week. (Yes, I do have a job - I teach night classes so I have lots of free time during the day) I first read Catch-22 years ago. I have been trying since to repeat that euphoric experience the way a coke user tries to relive his first high. Is there nothing out there as funny and cynical? Am I forever destined to read schlock? I’ve tried Vonnegut (Some OK but…) Wag the Dog came very close. Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett weren’t bad but lacked the darker elements of true cynicism. The flunkies at the book stores seem to glaze over when I ask about this. Help me…

They’re increasingly difficult to find. In fact, I can’t think of a single one.

There’s a new novel that might be up your alley: Slab Rat by Ted Heller. It’s the story of a young, back-stabbing magazine editor.

And before Ukulele Ike or Eve weigh in: early Evelyn Waugh is also very cynical. Scoop, a novel of journalism, is a good place to start.

Thanks, Ace. Slab Rat’s not bad; there are a few other modern writers who can do Cynical pretty well.

But “old fashions please me best.” Waugh, Dorothy Parker, J.P. McEvoy, Tiffany Thayer, early Anita Loos (which I think John Emerson wrote, anyway!); all masters of cynicism. Also Henri Murger’s Tales of the Latin Quarter; and ‘the very pineapple’ of cynical lit, Voltaire’s Candide.

Pinocchio,, the original Collodi story. In this one, the Cricket gets stomped on in the first chapter.

I think Richard Russo’s work is delightfully snarky, as is some Elmore Leonard. I’ve never thought to rate books on their cynicalness, so I haven’t really been paying attention to it; I’ll keep my eyes peeled from now on.

Try some Neal Stephenson. Snow Crash was pretty cynical, though it’s sort of a jovial, Mark Twain-ish, “Everything’s gonna work out fine in the end, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t all fucked up anyway” cynicism. Same with The Diamond Age, which contains the all-time classic quote, “If the Chinese Coastal Republic even believed in the existence of virtue, it could at least have aspired to hypocrisy.”

Also try The Broken Land by Ian McDonald, if you can find it. It’s a science-fiction allegory of the Troubles in Northern Ireland.

If you’re not opposed to nonfiction, essayist type of stuff that is funny and cynical, I’d recommend pretty much anything by P.J. O’Rourke. He’s rather conservative and tends to focus on politics, but he’s one of the few that makes me laugh out loud as a I read.

Hang around my friend Dave, he’s the most cynical person I know. For instance, he beleives in telling people that all of their are problems are because “God hates you.” Example: “Remember how your best childhood friend, Timmy, was always really thin and had a wasting disease? Remember when he died, and how sad you were? That wasn’t because God hates Timmy, it was becasue god hates you, and he knew that killing Timmy was the best way to get to you.”
-OR-
He proposes that, since Santa Clause is capable of insanely fast travel, as well as resisting huge amounts of pressure and heat, he must be captured and brain washed, then used as an assasain…I can’t tell it nearly as well as he can…here, lemme give you a link.
http://www.angelfire.com/ma2/thecowempire/funny.html
there ya go
Also, the Russo stuff’s pretty good

You might want to check out “Thank You For Smoking” by Christopher Buckley.

How about Thomas Pynchon, John Hersey, Bertrand Russell, Hunter S. Thompson, Cormac McCarthy, Gore Vidal, T.C. Boyle, Noam Chomsky, Joan Didion, John Updike…

James Ellroy’s “American Tabloid.” A good dose of cynicism plus it trashes the whole rotten Kennedy clan to boot.

I’m with Milossarian - P.J. O’Rourke is the funniest cynical writer around, although it’s mostly non-fiction.

To say he’s conservative is putting it mildly. To quote the great Terry Pratchett P.J. is “so far to the right he’s sometimes comes back at you from the left.”

I also will chime in for P.J. O’Rourke. While waiting for a plane in San Fransisco, I was reading his Eat The Rich and laughing out loud in the bookstore. I also liked All The Trouble In The World.

“The Crime Studio”

“Bigot Hall”

Or , anything by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Also, try Mark Twain’s short stories. You’d be suprised!

I third the vote for PJ O’Rourke. Any man who says,
“Buffet, is French for get up and get it yourself.” Is my kind of reading.

The bleakest, most cynical book I have ever read was supposed to be a lightweight piece of fluff: The Shootist, Glendon Swarthout. The John Wayne movie looks like Pollyanna in comparison.

Da Ace - Thanks for the tip on Slab Rat. Is it coincidence that the author’s last name is Heller?

Voguevixen - Haven’t tried Russo, Found Elmore to be trying too hard. Thanks much

Geenius - More stuff I never heard of - Many Thanks

Milossarian, Iguana Boy, Jo3sh, & Shirley Ujest - P.J. O’Rourke sounds like fun - I wonder why the book store clerks never heard of him

Those of you who suggested Hunter S Thompson - Done that. He kinda reminds me of Wolfe’s Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test - Seconds of genius surrounded by hours of tedium

Dumbguy - Joan Didion???

Re: Mark Twain: Read them all as a teen when my cynicism was still taking root. Maybe time to revisit

If I haven’t mentioned anyone here it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate the help, just that I need to get to Amazon before everyone reading this thread depletes the stocks

Keep posting if anything else comes to mind!

The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, the Bible of blackguards. While written in the turn of the century
(no, no, the previous century), most of the definitions still ring true.

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision
sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out
cynic’s eyes to improve his vision.

It’s on the web too, somewhere…

He’s no aparrent relation (at least the book itself doesn’t claim any, and I have to imagine it would if there was any relation).

I don’t know if you’ve tried other books by Joseph Heller, but I quite liked God Knows, which isn’t quite as cynical as Catch-22 but has its moments.

Mark Twain was another good suggestion; he got very cynical in his old age. Those books tend to be about religion, though, so they may not be too your taste. Letters From the Earth is generally considered to be the best introduction to late Twain. There are also collections of his late stories, like “The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburgh,” which are very dark.

If you like Twain, a somewhat similar writer who I love is Ambrose Bierce. You may be familiar with his Devil’s Dictionary, a collection of cynical definitions of common words, but his short stories are even better. He wrote three kinds of stories: nasty ghost tales, Civil War stories (the most famous being “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”) and tall tales. All three styles generally involve unpleasant violent death, well-described, and he’s a wonderful storyteller. There’s a good one-volume paperback of all of his short stories from the University of Nebraska; it’s a great book.

I agree with the rest of the crowd about P.J. O’Rourke (not fiction, but definitely cynical). If non-fiction is allowed, try Florence King, especially With Charity Toward None. That’s more specifically a history of misanthropy than cynicism, but the two are so close that it’s a distinction without a difference.

A good genre in general is the noirish crime novel, from Jim Thompson (e.g., The Killer Inside Me) and David Goodis (try Shoot the Piano Player) to Richard Stark (his first novel was made into the recent Mel Gibson movie Payback, but don’t hold that against him). Much of the classic noir has been republished in recent years by Vintage/Black Lizard in trade paperback (I’m not usre if they’re using the “Black Lizard” trade name anymore). Anything from that line should be up your alley.