Okay, my boss, just bought a new car. A Cadillac. She gave me a ride last week to pick up some stuff related to work. It has leather seats and rides like a cloud of air. It has more buttons on the console than a space rocket. A Very Nice Car.
Our Director of Development, was talking to his wife on the phone. His office is next to mine, so I really can’t help but overhear his conversation. They’re buying a new car. A Honda. They just had a new baby six weeks ago. The wife is on maternity leave, and they have a four year old who attends The Goddard School preschool.
Today was payday. I paid off the electric company, and the cable company, and even paid off the phone company, who sent me a cut off notice the other day because I owed them two months worth of phone bills. For the big splurge, I bought tickets to a local performance for HallBoy and myself. We’re going on Friday evening, and we’re going with a friend and her son. I’ll show up in my ten year old Chevy, with 130,000+ miles on it. The very same one who shimmied suspiciously when I was sitting at a stop light this morning, and the same one who makes a knocking sound at the front brake when I apply the brake. I’m sure my friend will arrive on Friday in her Mercedes. It’s black and doesn’t shimmy at stop lights. I’ve ridden in it as well. It has leather seats and more buttons on the console than a space rocket.
I. Just. Don’t. Understand. I don’t understand why I seem to be destined to struggle from one financial crapfest to the next, and why some people seem to ride around in leather seats and a collection of buttons on consoles. Is it my karmic destiny to forever have only a few dollars in my pocket and never to consistently plant my ass on my own leather seats?
It’s not like I’m pissing away money on fancy-schmancy crap we don’t need. Okay, I did buy some fresh asparagus and out of season corn on the cob at the farmer’s market last week. Why is it that I’m struggling from paycheck to paycheck, but it seems that everyone around me has money to spare?
So your boss and some other high mucketymuck at your place of employ have more money than you have?
I don’t know what you’re doing wrong that you’re driving a old Chevy. I don’t know if you’re doing anything wrong, really. I just know that in my own old Chevy driving days (and I had a shitty old Cavalier) I didn’t whine about my plight on a message board.
There are lots more important things in life than power windows, you know.
It is my experience that a lot of people are willing to take on a lot of debt. Especially when it comes to cars. You could probably get approved for a new car loan too.
Keep telling yourself “I choose not to buy a new car. I choose to spend my money on other things.” That’s what I tell myself, anyway. Sure I could take on a huge car payment but to me it seems like a waste. Cars depreciate very quickly, they are not an investment. We put a good chunk of money into our 401K every month. More than enough for a new car payment. Someday I will retire wealthy, woo-hoo!! (Just 38 more years to go…) But it is hard to do when we have to turn down other things we want now.
Sometimes I wonder how people can afford things and I can’t, but it’s really none of my business. But it’s still frustrating to never seem to get ahead so I share your pain.
I know where you’re coming from. I see some of these beautiful houses and cars and wonder what the owners do for a living and how I can do that, too. They can’t ALL be doctors, lawyers, etc. Can they?
My husband and I are in our 30s and make about 60k per year. He has a 5 year old Neon and I just traded in the 97 Corrolla for a 05 Hyundai Accent* (with a loan, of course). My first new car, but it had to be the bottom of the line model. I call it my clown car.
We also just got a loan for a $20K used mobile home because we can’t afford $100 - $200K for an actual house. We want to have a baby, but I don’t know where we’re going to get a minimum of $600 per month for day care. Neither one of us can quit our jobs. We have maybe $7K in credit card debt–sizable, but not crippling.
So, when I see these families of 4, pulling out of their driveways in their SUVs, I’m puzzled. How do they do it and what am I doing wrong? It’s very frustrating and I feel your pain.
*How sad is it that I consider it an accomplishment that I’m able to get a Hyundai Accent? :rolleyes:
If nothing else, you probably own your car and they each owe approximately $45K on theirs. All things being equal, I’d rather own my car (sans leather seats and a bunch of useless buttons), which I do.
Who says you’re doing anything wrong? Sometimes life is just like that. I’d rather go fishing with my son than work late into the night in order to get the boss to recognize me. So we struggle a bit at times. All I ask for a car that gets me from point A to point B, a Pepsi every once in a while, good friends, loving family (um, reverse the order). Life is not defined by the toys you have because then Bill Gates wins hands down. I’m not conceding. I’m changing the definition of what constitutes winning
Ya hear that, you stinking prole? Stop whining and fetch me a latte! Be back in 5 minutes or your family won’t get that Rid I promised you for a bonus!
I just ran into some old friends this weekend. They had bought a house in a rather affluent suburb for a little over $300K. In the driveway sat a new Mercedes SUV and the BMW SUV was parked in the garage. I suggested heading out to eat when I was told “No, sorry, not in the budget, we’ve got $20 a week spending cash”. Different priorities I guess, I’d rather live within my means and have more options.
Stop beating yourself up because you aren’t as rich as others appear to be. There will always be those with more money than you. That doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong.
Also, some people inherit money. Even middle class parents can leave a hefty chunk of change to their kids if they owned a house, for example.
‘Winning’ is not owning a car with leather seats and a bunch of stupid buttons,
Apparently the problem is that you don’t understand what it takes (or are unwilling/unable to do what it takes) to get a high(er) paying job. If you want the leather seats and fancy house and expensive toys, you need to earn the money to pay for it, or live a life of crushing debt.
Are you willing to do what it takes to get that higher paying job? Some of us (me, for example) are not going for maximum dollars, and trade off some life value for dollar value. A friend of mine is making rather more than me, but busting ass, 12 hour days, long business trips (Australia anyone?) the works.
I’m no Charlie Church, but not coveting your neighbor’s goods is sound advice. Worry about your own home, your own goods, your own finances, don’t worry about keeping up with the Joneses.
I do have the “high paying job”–as high as I can go with the degree I have, in the field I’m in. Yep, maybe my mistake was getting a degree that wasn’t related to medicine or law. Next time, I’ll be sure to do something that’ll rake in the dough instead of something that I’m truly good at, and that satisfies something inside of me.
I’ve also supported myself and my three kids without the benefit of child support, or a spouse who pulls in an equal to mine salary. I also put myself through college, and now have an ass load of school loan debt that I’m repaying (and not shirking the responsibility of that).
This wasn’t a fucking whine about leather seats–simply another example about the damn differences of being in a similiar set of working conditions to my “neighbors” but not being able to keep up with the Joneses. yeah, I know the overwhelming debt load some of these neighbors must have–a Caddy doesn’t come without a boatload of debt–but while I’m busting my ass to go from paycheck to paycheck because I’m not mortaged up to my ass (other than school loans), everyone around me (or so it seems) is rolling in the dough with little or any ill effects of doing so.
It’s not necessarily a situation of “coveting my neighbors goods” as it is an envy of sorts of their ability to pull off the appearance of having it “all” (whatever in the hell that is). I guess what I’d really like is the ability not to break out into a cold sweat when my car makes a funny noise, or friends are making plans to get together and I have to use the “it’s not in the budget this time around” line, or shop at a consignment store (or the Salvation Army Thrift Store) for my clothes and the kids clothing. I’d really like the ability to hold off buying groceries, or paying the gas bill, or even buying a candy bar from the neighborhood kid selling them for band because it’s not payday yet.
It’s not always true that nice cars mean a crushing burden of debt.
I bought my BMW 328i in 1996 for cash.
How?
Because I bought my last new car, a 1987 Nissan Sentra. And I paid it off. And after I paid it off, I kept making “car payments,” every month, into a savings account that was set up especially for that purpose. I kept that Nissan Sentra for nine, almost ten years. And every month I had it, I made a car “payment” – most of them to me. Instead of paying someone else interest, I made interest on the money I was paying month after month.
IN 1996, I was able to walk into a BMW dealership and pay cash for a very nice car.
The key word is probably ‘seems.’ Like noted above, they’re probably in debt to the eyeballs, or they could be skimping elsewhere, where nobody but they will see it.
For example, my brother is a cop in a suburb here generally noted for its ‘old money’ reputation. Most of the houses are wired so that when the security system is tripped, the PD gets called to check it out. He tells me that he’s been to several that have little more than a TV and a mattress inside - like the people wanted the ‘right’ address, but once they bought the Big House, they couldn’t afford to do anything with it.
You can have leather seats! All you need is a Chevy.
Take the Chevy onto the highway.
Look for dead deer. In Ohio you’ll find one every couple miles.
Smell the deer. If its fresh it should smell like nature. Throw it in the trunk.
If it smells not so fresh then drive on. There is no shortage.
Skin all the fresh deer. While some people like to use a vegetable peeler for this job I generally go with a knife. If cash is tight pick up some pieces of flint and bank them against the bumper. Sharp edges galore!
Stretch the skin out on the roof of your car. Pin the leggy bits with Duct tape. This starts the “tanning” process. I usually use Coppertone for deer, generally an spf of 15, because I don’t want it to burn.
Eat a light dish of vension and leeks, with faint hints of radiator fluid.
Drive around for a week or so of sunny days.
Brush off Maggots - This step is important.
Using Duct tape, attach your new fine leather covers to your old vinyl seat. Note that it is also reversible. You could easily have a fur seat!
Repeat process for each seat.
The appearance of wealth is easy to attain with a good credit record. The reality of wealth is that for most people it takes time, effort, and prioritization. Heck, having a “middle class” life is a tricky without a good support system. Teach your kids how to play big ticket sports and wait for the endorsement deals. Worked for Wilma McNabb.
Yeah, I get that way too. (FWIW, my car is seventeen years old and has 165,000 miles on it) I’m making more money than I ever have before and I know it’s more money than some of my friends yet I have trouble keeping up with the cable bill. It’s not like I’m super extravagent either, I shop at Target for clothes. Yet my friends have new cars and are buying houses on less than me. I just have to keep telling myself that I’ll be completely out of debt by January (crossed fingers)…
I feel the way the OP does toward people here in the Bay Area who own nice homes.
Yeah, and if anything unexpected happened- say if they lost their jobs, or their car was totaled- they’d probably be in trouble.
My car has no leather seats or extra buttons, but I was able to write a check to pay for it instead of getting a car loan. Felt pretty good to tell my insurance agent that there was no lender, and feels pretty good to not have to make car payments every month.
I am (horrors!) 43 years old. Although I am steadily and gainfully employed, and I do my best, to say that I am an underachiever would be putting it mildly. I wouldn’t even know “the Joneses” if I tripped over them. However, I am not being raped by some adolescent “soldier” in an fight between African warlords. I am not mourning my dead in Indonesia. I am not dying of AIDS in South Africa. I am not starving in any of a number of countries. I am not living in any one of a hundred thousand nightmare scenarios all over the globe that beat the shit out of driving an old car and scraping by with the creditors.
We are all entitled to our moments of resentment and frustration. I have certainly felt pretty frustrated with my lot at times. I have never been much for being grateful for what I have. But at least I have learned how to be grateful, at least some of the time, for what I do not have.
I’ve put the phone company’s check in the electric company’s envelope “by accident” a time or two. It seems that whenever I think the ends are going to meet in a given month I’ll suddenly need a car repair or expensive dental work.
I don’t want to say “I know just how you feel” because I’m not sure that I do. Often I do wonder when I might have a month or two go by when I can write the rent check and buy groceries in the very same week. I’m grateful to say that I’ve always had everything that I need . Once in a while I’d like to buy a book or CD without mentally calculating my bank balance and the possible consequences.
For whatever it’s worth, I did not learn one single thing about finances as I was growing up. My twenties came and went without a thought about saving for retirement or anything else. Now I’m closer to 40 than 30 and still don’t have a savings account. I think more of this information should be taught to high schoolers (that and “When Citibank offers to send you a credit card with a $1000 limit throw the letter away!”)
In a few weeks, when you can still fill your tank for under $30.00 you’ll be very glad not to have a Cadillac.
Sheesh, I knew Beemers had a reputation for being in the shop all the time, but that you’d actually have to pay for repairs by installment? Awful, just awful.
Oh yes, that’s another thing I love about my Honda Civic. I can still fill up for less than $20, and only have to fill up once a week most weeks. I don’t expect the “less than $20” thing to last much longer, though.
