Where are you, damn it!

I have an ex-husband. We’ve been apart for several years now, but there are still some things that tie us together.

We bought a car together. In the divorce, I was awarded to vehicle. Over time, I paid off the loan on this car. It occurred to me recently that I need to get Ex’s name removed from the title. I tried to track him down. First, writing to his last known address, then trying a couple of on-line “people finding” services. No luck. *Ex is from the New Orleans area, did he go home after Katrina? I have no clue, but I hope he and his family got through it ok. *

After some research, I found out that there is a procedure through the courts that could remove Ex from the car title. I filed the necessary paperwork and now I’m waiting for their response. <fingers crossed>

A couple of days ago, I got a letter from the IRS. They are refunding some money from the 2003 tax year. (The break from Ex was very slow. Neither one of us could afford a lawyer, so we tried to work things out ourselves - lots and lots of ignorance. Annual taxes were difficult.) The IRS sent me a check with my name and Ex’s on it.

Frankly, some extra money would be very welcome. However, I can’t cash this check. I called the IRS and asked if the check could be re-cut just in my name. The phone rep said that I had to send the original check back, with a letter of explanation, and a copy of a missing person report.

I don’t want to file a report on a grown man who I’m no longer connected to. The IRS letter said that Ex was notified as well. For now, I’m going to wait and see if Ex finds me. The amount of money is significant enough to get his attention. I would like to split the refund with him, and maybe get him to sign the car title over to me.

Where the hell is this guy? :confused:

Well, if the IRS notified him, then they obviously know where he is. Consider a PI?

Does he have relatives? Does he have an even remotely distinctive name? You might check out the recent thread on finding a lost daughter. There were some good research tools listed there.

You might want to try the Social Security Administration’s letter forwarding service. They do charge a fee, but if the amount of money involved is significant it might be worth it.

I would think, however, that if the IRS had notified him that he was due money which was sent to you then he would be trying to get in touch with you to get his “share”.

I have access to some genealogical databases that have Public Directory listings for various cities (particularly likely to find him if he works for a city or in education or any kind of public service job). I’ll be glad to run his name through there to see if he has a listing if you’d like.

Not necessarily. The IRS version of “we notified him” is to mail a letter to some possible address. Meaning, since they have **Mouse_Maven’s ** address, and her ssn is, however distantly, connected to his, they might mail his notification to her.

Every couple of years, I get a certified letter for my ex from the IRS. We’ve been divorced for 14 years, and he’s been dead for six. The IRS isn’t known for being particularly helpful.