Suffice to say that my extended family is mad at one of my uncles for some underhanded dealings.
So I need a piece of coal I can send to him anonymously. Not charcoal of some such…I’d like to get a good solid couple of pound piece of coal right out of the ground.
I went to school in coal country but it’s not like I ever saw any for sale retail. And Blue Coal isn’t sponsoring The Shadow anymore. The furnaces around here (the Blue Ridge Mountains) are either electric, propane or oil. I know no one with a coal furnance any more. On review I think I even know some West Vrginians with wood furnaces…just no coal.
Anthracite? Anyone? A little help here? Help me strike a blow for justice.
You can get coal from some railyards too. I picked some up ages ago to give to a family member for the holidays. Unfortunately, it backfired on me. She was very happy to get it and said that it would be a diamond eventually and knew I couldn’t afford one at the time.
Jonathan Chance, I live near Pittsburgh and I’m sure I can get you a nicely carved chunk of coal for a gift. E-mail me your regular address and I’ll see what I can do while shopping for my Secret Santa tomorrow. Failing that, I’ve got a friend who does archaeological surveys of coal mines. If you like, I can get a hold of her and see what she can pick up.
Personally, I suggest the nicely carved piece – it’s easier to make into a joke. Fresh from the ground is available, though, and it’s bituminous, the messier kind.
Where do you live? I’ve picked up some shiny bits of coal from the banks of the Lehigh river. They aren’t big enough to be called “chunks,” but I’ll bet you could find some in the Carbon County PA area.
There used to be huge piles of coal in an abandoned stip mine near where I live. I would check to see if they are still there, but there is five inches of snow on the ground, and I would have to walk there.
Fresh from the ground. My uncle has truly wandered into the ‘placing himself above the family and we’re scared the marshalls will take him away’ zone. But no one wants to turn him in because he’s family.
I think he should rot for all of me. And my sibs agree. But we’re a little leery of turning the rest of the family against us.
According to the Washington D.C. phone book, you can buy coal at Brook Coal Co., 1310 18th St. NW, 202-659-2579 or
Moore Energy Resources, 1300Newton St., NE 202-269-4894