Where do you draw the line, regarding unfriending on social media?

I rarely unfriend people on Facebook, but in the past day, I’ve done it to two people for their unrelenting defense of Brett Kavanaugh, and stating that this is yet another conspiratorial witch hunt to get Dumpster out of office.

Nonstop religious or political posts of any stripe will get a person unfollowed; they are still on my friends list but I can’t see their posts unless I look for them.

Conversely, I have had 4 women unfriend AND BLOCK me for posting either a meme that says, “My kids weren’t a mistake, but their father sure was” and I told them that it would be a really good idea to delete that post, or they said, for the 80,000th time, some variation of “We are finished! We are THROUGH! It’s for REAL this time!” and I replied, “Yeah, right. How many times have we heard that before?”


I hate Facebook. Why does anybody use it? Everybody I know complains about it.
Apparently they had some kind of new hack today. I saw a bit about it on the news.

It depends. First off, no one is owed your FB friendship (Most people I know block their parents). Second, I friend some people explicitly because they disagree with me politically, but have the intellectual candlepower to back up their views. I’ll unfriend someone quicker for making poor arguments than I will for making arguments I disagree with.

My friends tend to be in one of five categories: relatives, friends from high school, friends from college, comic book fans/pros, or Korea expats. If you’re in one category and respond a little too eagerly to a post that clearly isn’t meant for you, I might reconsider our FB friendship.

I had one friend, someone I vaguely knew in high school, who kept love bombing me with posts and texts. She seemed to think I was in her emotional support network and she was super-needy (She has serious health problems and a husband and extended family who should be her go-to for these issues). Once too often I would post something about a topic not even remotely concerning her and she’d reply “Well, as somebody with both MS and cancer…” She “quits” FB a couple times a year and last time she did, I unfriended her.

Moderator Action

Since this is more opinion than factual, let’s move it to IMHO (from GQ).

Moderator Note

Don’t threadshit.

Consistent bullshit and/or stupidity. Mindless repetition of the vacuous talking points from the right or the left. Support of racism, fascism, or sexism.

Most of my Facebook Friends are from my hobbies so unless they are sharing things which amuse me they might as well not be connected.

You can unfollow someone without kicking them out of your friends list. Then you won’t have to read their stuff without wanting to.

OP, if I’m reading correctly, somebody posted something like “My kids weren’t a mistake but their father sure was” and you contacted them to recommend that they delete the post? Why?

I was so glad to find out about unfollowing - I was able to free my feed of so much crap! I absolutely abhor “patriotic” memes. I spent 11 years in uniform - don’t tell me I’m not a patriot if I don’t repost your flag picture. Those people pretty much cease to exist for me, even if they are relatives.

I’ve unfriended a few - mostly friends of friends whose posts were beyond obnoxious as well as a few people who I think I knew when I was working, but since retirement, I honestly can’t remember any of them.

If someone post something hyper-political, or ultra-religious, or just plain offensive, I won’t hesitate to unfollow them. I think when you unfriend someone what you are really saying is “I don’t want anything to do with you ever again, get out of my life forever”, and there aren’t too many people I feel that strongly about. If I felt that way about someone I wouldn’t have friended them in the first place, but sometimes you get a friend request from a friend of a friend and it turns out they are a right-wing Nazi and in that case I immediately unfriend them. It’s all about what I want to see in Facebook, and I am willing to listen to broad views, but if someone tries to convert me or someone posts 3,000 pics of their 2 year old or their cat doing “something cute” then I will likely unfollow them versus unfriend them.

I ended up unfriending 2/3rds of my friends, not because of what they said (okay, not ONLY because of what they said), but to devalue my profile to Facebook. Thier willingness to take and sell and manipulate my view of the world earned my the, not right…but motivation, to manipulate them right back.

They provide a service (for free) because I’m the product. I then evaluated just what value I was providing when they weren’t doing a good job of looking out for my interests and adjusted accordingly. With 40 closer friends, and no ‘single sign on with facebook profile’, never completing an ad-interrupted video, and marking a ton of ADs as ‘this offends me’

I’ve found I can still keep in touch with the close friends I want to, and I’ve got a whole lot less BS in exchange.

I also found it really easy to unfriend people…ex-cow-orkers from jobs I really didn’t care for…people that had differing opinions that were mean spirited of not backed up by fact.

It was really wierd having a news feed that’s no longer miles long…give it a 5-10 minute perusal and suddenly I’m seeing posts from 5 days ago. Nothing more to see here, I can close the app for a bit.

I unfollow people when I’m not interested in most of what they post. I don’t really care what Millie and and Fred have done every single day of every single week -" On Monday, we went to the senior center and Fred won $2.75 at Bingo. On Tuesday…". Millie’s feelings will be hurt if I unfriend her, but she’ll never know I unfollowed her.

Unfriending is reserved for behavior that would cause me to not speak to someone in real life - which means there’s been only one, my youngest sister.

I’ve only unfriended two or three people, primarily for trying to troll everyone. I do, however, block posts from people who are tedious. The latest was my daughter’s newest boyfriend, who at 55 doesn’t seem to have an original thought in his head and instead posts those stupid and simplistic life-bromides (It’s better to greet people with a smile than with a frown). He’s literally never posted anything that came out of his own head.

I move people to “acquaintance” if they post annoying replies to my posts. (My general setting for posts is “friends except acquaintances”.)
I unfollow people I feel like keeping a facebook connection to, but who post stupid stuff on occasion.
I unfriend people who post really, really stupid things. Like this one guy who posted a photoshopped picture of Michelle Obama and then said “Well it’s plausible, and they made America a laughing stock” when I showed it was a fake.

I don’t unfriend, but I do unfollow. And yes, it’s because of political postings. Mostly I’ll mark posts as “I want to see less of this”. I don’t want to read their crap. It’s my Facebook feed, and I’ll curate it as I see fit. But then again, I don’t post and especially I don’t argue with people on FB, can’t see the point of that.

I had a Fig Friend (mutual interest in growing figs) who I unfriended after he posted some obnoxious racist diatribe.

If there’s nothing overtly revolting, it’s non-stressful to unfollow instead (i.e. someone else whose political ranting I can do without. I stop by occasionally to admire photos of her dog).

My friends tend to not be assholes, that’s why they’re my friends. I’ve unfollowed a few friends (including my sister) because they post lots of glurge, which nauseates me.

I use Facebook to stay in touch with family and people I grew up with and people I used to work with. I like to see the milestones in people’s lives. For my age peers it tends to be grandchildren and, unfortunately, the deaths of parents. I have some friends and family that are skilled smart-asses and I enjoy reading their digressions. I have hidden several sources and unfollowed a few people for overly partisan posting. I have only unfriended one person and that was because of an excessive, unironic use of the word libtard.

Don’t want to see what people write on their walls? Unfollow. Don’t like what others write on yours? You can either fuss around with managing friends lists or just block them. OP falls in the second category.

I tried social media to connect with old/distant friends when I retired.

What I found was…not good

My friend list is pretty well behaved–I’ve had to unfollow a few, like the very nice lady who nonetheless is obsessed with makeup and posts about fifty times a day about the new trends in mascara or whateverthefuck. I only unfriend the ones who decide they’re going to pick fights in comments on my posts with other friends and who won’t take a hint nor an outright “knock it off.” I’d also have no problem unfriending any fucking idiot who can’t function without CAPSLOCK ON AT ALL TIMES. I do not need shouty people in my face.

I don’t unfriend, I just unfollow, and that is for people who are always spouting political, religious, or cutesy crap.