Here’s some hope for the grumpy Doper…
Okay, forwarded that to my favorite old coot – me, I’ve got years – years, I tell you! – before that has any relevance to me. 
If you’re gonna whack someone, don’t do it on my lawn! And what the hell are you doing paying the cashier in pennies? Pennies! Og, I could have been done and gone home by now! And you, kid, stop playing with that, it’s not a toy! Damn kids, I tell ya, when I was a boy…
Eh? Did you say something? Speak up, dammit! And pull up your pants, you look like an idiot in those. Is Matlock on yet?
**Bichsel, a psychology professor at Morgan State in Baltimore, recently co-authored a study that invites the conclusion that upon reaching 60, disagreeable people maintain a higher level of intelligence than more easy-going seniors.
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How much you wanna bet that Bichsel yells at people in the checkout line and was a smart-aleck grad student?
Old? *Old!? * C’mere, so I can whack you with my walker. I can share lively stories of back in the '80s, during the dinosaur migrations. I remember when President Reagan first started walking erect (and boy was Nancy pissed!).
Back then the state flower was algea. My highschool prom theme was ‘fire’, and the popular corsage was Primordial Slime. The hip new dance was walking on land and not breathing through gills.
Back then, when you brought ‘wheels’ for a date, it was cutting edge technology (and the girl had to have good balance). My ‘mouse pad’ was a mastadon fur that I forgot to hang up. I’m so old, I actually met Alzheimer; nice guy, drinks too much though.