You seem really confused by my analogy.
Let’s say you have two kids–a boy and a girl.
Do you tell both of them to avoid getting drunk and wandering around late at night in dangerous neighborhoods?
Or would you give only the girl this advice and let the boy go around thinking he’s 100% safe no matter what he does? Even though statistically speaking, he’s more likely to be a victim of violent crime than your daughter because of his maleness?
Now to go back to the drunk driving analogy, do you only preach about the dangers of drunk driving to men who support large families and thus have a lot to lose by being so reckless? Or do you tell everyone about the dangers of drunk driving because drunk driving is unsafe no matter who does it?
Most murder victims are male. Most victims of non-rape violence are men. So if we want to be slaves to statistics, it makes far more sense for us to give special lecturing to men about how dangerous the world is for them, rather than focusing so much on women.
It only makes sense to give special lecturing to women about rape if we believe that rape is objectively worse than being killed. I know some people honestly think rape is just that horrible, but this is ridiculous.
From this cite:
If you think giving the raw facts to people will deter them from high risk behaviors, then maybe you should try it out on guys first. Wave the above statistics in young men’s faces and follow it up with a long sermon on how unsafe it is to get drunk at bars where fights might break out and how unsafe it is for them to walk down the street late at night in a three-piece business suit and how unsafe it is for them to drive around in late-model automobiles.
If people actually presented facts and figures when advising others, then you’d have a point. But that’s not what happens. What usually happens is people have notions in their head (e.g., “Women are more likely to be victims than men” and “Rape is the worst thing that can happen to a woman” and “Dangerous neighborhoods are easy to spot” and “Rape is so prevalent that it is important a woman think about it all the time, no matter her individual circumstances.,” ) that simply aren’t reflective of reality. And because these notions are wrong, the advice they inspire is also wrong. Like, if a person believes that rape really is the worst thing that can happen to a woman, then yeah, it makes sense to give her special warnings about traveling alone at night. But if you believe (as I do) that murder is worse, then it makes sense to save your special warnings for guys. That is, if for some weird reason you can’t manage to just tell both boys and girls to be careful when they travel alone at night.
I know people have a problem with relative risk, but this isn’t rocket science. Smoking appears to be more dangerous for women than for men. Does that mean it is safe for men? No! It’s hella dangerous for men too. NO ONE SHOULD BE SMOKING CIGARRETES. That’s the fucking message. By targeting women with an anti-smoking message, suddenly you’re sending a message that lung cancer is a “woman’s issue”. Just like targeting women with special safety advice is sending a message that violence is a women’s issue. When it’s everything but that.
How can worrying be victim blaming? What a bizarre question.
Personally, while I am very fortunate to have never been the victim of a violent crime, I have been flashed before. A completely naked guy stepped out from an alley and waved his dick at me menacingly. This happened in a quiet, tree-lined ritzy neighborhood with million dollar houses. The flasher looked like he could have been a college professor or a lawyer, if he had been clothed. Nothing like this has ever happened to me in the “bad” neighborhoods I walk through on my way to and from work.
Would you think it irrational of me to worry more about my safety in that ritzy neighborhood? Because I’ll tell you, that’s how feel. In that ritzy neighborhood, no one sits out on their front porch. There are no corner stores that I could take refuge in. I feel like if some shit went down, I could scream and everyone would be too chicken-shit to leave their airtight palaces to help me. But I don’t feel like that when I travel through rougher neighborhoods. There’s always people sitting out on porches and stoops or waiting at bus stops. People speak to you, say hello and let you know they’re keeping an eye out. There might be winos hanging out in alleys, but they are old dudes who are too decrepit to hurt anyone. At least they keep their clothes on. So while I try to have situational awareness no matter where I go, I don’t hinge my alertness level on the income level of the neighborhood. I hinge it on how many eyeballs are in my general vicinity.
