Not a parody thread, just one that’s a little more philosophically interesting (with all due respect to Velocity).
For purposes of this here thread:
Humans are humans, not animals, because of the very high degree of environmental manipulation with which they address stress. In other words, rather than adapt to the environment, humans radically change their environment to suit their needs. Animals, on the other hand, race evolution or die.
Humanzee is a crossbreed of a human & a chimpanzee. However we get there, humanzees are consistently fertile, male or female, and will reproduce with each other to produce similarly fertile & viable humanzee offspring. Since this crossbreed is possible in the hypothetical, let’s go all the way and say humanzees can consistently make fertile offspring with humans or chimpanzees.
Humanzees can participate in human speech up to about the level of a 7 year old human on average. They are somewhat unreliable in motivation but they can learn to do repetitive physical tasks requiring a fair bit of innovation & free thinking–they can hold a job, take their money to the store and buy stuff they want, although they never really gain the discipline to differentiate between what they need & what they want. Basically, if there are any questions about their capacity, jut think about a very strong, 5 feet tall, 180#, 7 year old human with a noticeable speech impediment and poor frustration tolerance.
So whaddaya say? Do they get rights?